A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had had happened to her ears?
"I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and
stuck it to my ear."
"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But .. what happened to your other ear?"
"The son-of-a-bitch called back."
A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me.....I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't
figure out how to get it started".
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread
all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of
all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger".
He held her hand and said, "Second, I'd advise you to relax. Let's have a cup of coffee, then ..........." he sighed,
"let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box."
A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach. As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some
of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber
the person is."
The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the men have
larger "units" than his dad. His mother replied, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." Again satisfied with
this answer, the boy returns to the ocean to play.
Shortly after, the boy returned again. He promptly told his mother, "Daddy is talking to the dumbest girl on the beach,
and the longer he talks, the dumber he gets."
Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blond. Two guards brings the
brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is
startled and looks around. She manages to escape. The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner
asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ." The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again,
everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution. By this point, the blonde had figured out what the
others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blond shouts, "fire!!"
After a bizarre cliff side accident, all eleven members of the women's outing found themselves hanging perilously from a
rope over the edge of the cliff. Ten of the women were blondes and one was a brunette. After dangling there for a only a
short while it became obvious that the rope would not hold all their collective weight. They decided that to prevent the
rope snapping and killing them all, one of them must sacrifice themselves and let go, to save the others.
Well they talked about it for a while but no-one could decide a fair way of of choosing who should jump. Finally, the
brunette, exasperated by the indecisiveness of the blondes, could see that if nobody acted soon the rope was going to
To save the others she bravely decided that it must be her who made the sacrifice. She plucked up a little courage and
told the others that she would jump to save them.
After giving a short but very moving speech that she hoped would be remembered after she'd gone, the blondes were so
moved that they all started clapping!