Team Gai Insanity
Tenten sat at the base of a tree with her sparring partner, Hyuuga Neji. It was their mid-day break, so they had just
finished eating lunch. Tenten however had a chocolate bar that she wanted to save for later. So she left them lying on
top of her bag that she brought to training everyday. Neji had already finished his lunch before her, and meditated
beside her until she was ready to resume training.
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI"
Or, should you say, tried to meditate. Neji, however, wasn't the only one getting pissed off. An evil Tenten was
getting sick of it for the sixth time today.
"LEE!"
"GAI-SEN-"
"FOR THE LOVE OF MANATEES STFU!!" she shouted, whipping out a Bazooka from God knows where. She took aim, and was about
to fire. Both Gai and Lee screamed like little schoolgirls at the sight of her new weapon.
"W-what does it do Gai-sensei??" Lee whispered.
"I'm not su-"
BOOM! She fired at them. Gai leaped into Lee's arms, as he dodged Tenten's missiles of evil doom. The 4th and last shot
landed close to them, and the explosion sent them flying a few yards away onto their rear-ends.
"....I'm out of ammo!?" she growled, then a creepy smirk spread across her features. " Time for plan B!" she laughed
evily. "Ultimate weapon! PLYWOOD NO JUTSU!" she yelled, taking out a piece of plywood and proceeding to chase them with
it.
"THE CARNAGE!" Gai screamed in horror, still on the ground with Lee from the Bazooka assault. They tried to get up but
ran into each other and tumbled down into one of the craters Tenten made. She followed them in with the deadly plywood,
continually hearing the frightened momma's-boy screams of the Beautiful Green 'Beasts' of Konoha. Some beasts they are
now, she hadn't even touched them yet.
Neji stands a witness to his teams insanity. Then, he decided to leave before he got dragged into the mess. He wonders
how on earth he was paired with these freaks.
Team Gai was mental.
Then, Neji realized he left his bag back at the training grounds. So he went back to get it. Tenten was now chasing the
two, she still had the plywood, and both had a few bumps on their heads. Then, as he reached down for his bag Neji saw
something that would forever ruin his reputation. Tenten's Chocolate bar. He had never ate a chocolate bar before,
since he wasn't too fond of sweets, and he was a very deprived child. He glanced back at his training partner, she was
still preoccupied with the de-beastifying of his other comrades.
"...I'll get her another one." he said picking it up and beginning to tear off the foil wrapping. He stared at it for a
second, then bit off half of it. Tenten just happened to be facing his direction.
"NEJI YOU KILLED IT!" she sobbed running over to him, snatching the rest of the candy. "YOU'LL PAY!" she yelled
suddenly getting very angry again.
Then Neji did the unthinkable. He screamed.
"Neji.....did you just scream?" Tenten questioned.
"LETS DANCE!" he screamed in her face.
"OKAY!" yelled Lee jumping into the conversation. Lee and Neji started dancing, soon joined by Gai-sensei.
Tenten grinned and took out her camera. "This will be great blackmail."
"NEJI! You must wear the spandex of YOUTH!" yelled Gai-sensei, pulling out a pair of green spandex from nowhere.
"YES GAI-SENSEI!" Neji yelled back.
"NEJI!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"NEJI!"
Then they hugged, the environment SUDDENLY changing to an ocean shoreline, the sky turning orange, followed by a big
wave. You all know the drill.
Tenten was unable to suppress the giggles any longer. "I stand corrected! THIS will be great blackmail!" she yelled
doubling over in laughter at the sight of THE Hyuuga Neji, HUGGING Gai-sensei in green spandex. Then she saw Neji
finnally coming to his senses as the sugar rush vanished. He pried himself from his sensei with a look of pure horror
upon his face, only to discover that he was dressed like him as well.
"Oh...my.." he gasped, and began looking around for his other clothes before someone saw him. Then he noticed his only
female teammate rolling on the ground with a camera in her hands. She felt his chakra increase, so she looked up. Only
to meet the sight of Neji's byakugan. Time to run.
"Erm...bye!" she exclaimed sprinting off. He was about to follow after her, but there was a slight interference.
"NEJI!" Lee yelled crushing him in a bear hug, still in "Defy the Laws of Nature" mode.
"Lee let go!....MUST...MUTILATE..TENTEN!!" he yelled lividly. But Lee didn't let go. He squeezed tighter.
"LEE!" Gai-sensei picked them both up in a hug. Neji never caught up to Tenten.
~Two days later...
"What the HELL!?" yelled Neji to his computer. On it, was the was a video of himself in spandex, dancing and hugging
his sensei, set to the barney theme song. And after several minutes of surfing the web, he discovered that it was
EVERYWHERE.
An unlucky passer-by ambling past the Hyuuga mansion was assassinated by Neji's computer flying out his bedroom window
that day.
"REVENNNNGE!!" he yelled from atop his bed, pumping his fist in the air.
"Neji nii-san...uh..." Hinata gaped at her cousin. He instantly jumped of his bed, trying to keep his cool image.
"Uhm...what?"
"Dinner is ready....and I think you need to start seeing a therapist." she nodded and closed the door.
"......reveeennnge..." he said quietly and slowly pumping his fist in the air again. "Tenten will not get away with
this humiliation!" He walked out into the hall.
"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA-" he laughed throwing his hands in the hair, but stopped when he saw Hiashi giving him strange looks.
"Note to self: do not, I repeat, do NOT laugh maniacally in public." he thought as he continued to the kitchen. "Now
for my revenge...."
Team Gai Insanity Part 2
Neji's Revenge
It is just past midnight, the moon high in the black sky. A lone shinobi leaped from rooftop to rooftop. Until he
stopped, crouching near a certain someone's window. He pulled off his mask, and peered into the window slightly. A
brown haired girl was sprawled on her bed, snoring loudly. "I hope this works..." he whispered to no one in
particular.
*flashback to 4 hours ago*
Hyuuga Neji sat at his desk, head in his hands.
"DAMN." he exclaimed rubbing his temples. "How am I going to get my revenge on the Weapon Misstriss of Konoha if I have
no clue what will make her angry?"
Then the soloution to all of his problems hit him like Gai-sensei's Dynamic entry. Well, maybe not ALL of his problems.
Just this one.
"Wait, weapon misstriss......MWAHA! I've got it!" he smirked, hitting his fist on the table. He started scribbling his
plan off on a random piece of paper. Neji Hyuuga is in desperate need of a hobby.
"Now...." he said, lacing his fingers together, "All I do is wait...." (Think creepy Mr burns from the Simpsons.)
*Back to present*
He placed his hands on the windowsill, and began to open it. It got halfway up and he heard a snap from somewhere in
her room. Then weapons of all kinds, Kunai, Shuriken, Senbon, cats, etc. flew at him at high speeds, but having
byakugan, he dodged them.
"What the hell? She must have the place rigged. I guess I'll have to be careful..." he thought slipping inside.
Once inside he discovered her to be very disorganized. There were weapons scattered about all over, including various
scrolls and other items. It would be difficult to move around without getting impaled through the foot or making noise.
He started collecting the weapons and scrolls from the floor, and putting them in his bag. He couldn't hide the smirk at
the thought of her face in the morning when she seen all of her weapons would be gone. After getting everything off the
floor, he made his way to her closet and opened it, only to reveal the mountain of senbon on the top shelf.
"Oh god..." he whispered, noticing they were well taken care of, all shiny. Ready to poke out his eyes. He pushed the
door open further, only to trigger a shuriken trap from the opposite side of the room. He dodged them, but the shuriken
had already hit the wall behind him. Which made the mountain of unstable senbon condemn their pointy wrath upon him.
"OH GOD" he yelled in a whisper while trying to move away, but they had already got him. He groaned a little from the
pain, and then remembered that Tenten was still in the room. He quickly glanced at her, sure that the crash would have
woken her up. But surprisingly, she hadn't moved. Sighing in relief he began to pluck the needles from his body and the
floor where they had missed.
Three hours later, and after barely living through various forms of traps and closets full of weapons, he set the goods
outside her window. He was about to climb out himself, but stopped to check and see if he missed anything. Her room was
almost spotless. No more weapons, no scrolls. A pool of drool had formed on her pillow. "Heavy sleeper..." he thought,
continuing his scan around the room. She hadn't woke up once, even after all the noise he made. Crash after crash she
hadn't budged. Then something caught his eye on her nightstand. There was three chocolate bars and a cookie. They
called out to him, "EAT ME!" He knew he shouldn't, after he was humiliated by them. He didn't need them, they weren't
part of his original plan, and Neji ALWAYS went with the plan. No matter how nummy they were....
So, he stepped back into the room. Cue the mission impossible theme! Mind set on only those chocolate bars. As he
passed her bed, she rolled over, facing him. She hadn't woken up so he continued his pursuit of the chocolaty goodness.
He grabbed them and turned around to make his escape. That however never happened.
*creak* went a loose floorboard.
Her eyes snapped open to see her teammate, dressed in a tattered shinobi outfit. Then she noticed his hands, and what
they possessed.
"MAH CHOCOLATE!!!!" she yelled and tackled him to the floor. He reversed their positions and now having the advantage,
did what any sensible male would do right now. He ran away, closing and holding the window down from the outside.
"I'm gonna kill you!" She yelled when she saw the bags of weapons next to him. He pressed his face against the window
and made a face.
"Nyah...not from in there." he smirked.
"RAWR!" she yelled punching the window where his face was. He covered his nose with one hand and then it was her turn
to smirk. She gave up and ran down stairs to the front door. "I know where you sleep!" she yelled from the stairs.
"Crap." he muttered picking up the bags and running home.
He made it there before she did, and warned Hiashi not to let a crazed looking bun-haired girl in the house if she
asked for him. Once in his room, he locked the door and window, in case she tried sneak in. He stashed the weapons
under his bed, and pulled the cookie and chocolate from his pocket. He sat on his bed, and brought the cookie to his
mouth-
BOOM! The closet doors blew off the hinges and out sprang his nemesis, fully equipped with a AK-47 that was aimed right
at him. Then she yelled in an Arnold Schwarzenegger voice, "PUT THE COOKIE DOWN. NOW!"
Immediately pulling the cookie from his lips, he shoved it and the chocolate bars in his pillowcase. She grabbed it
from him and emptied its contents. "Hah! I've found them!" she grinned throwing her gun randomly behind her, which
crashed through his window.
Just as she was about to pick one up he rushed to grab ahold of them all and stuffed them in his shirt. "You saw
nothing." he sneered.
She blinked a couple times before tackling him again. She shoved her hands up his shirt to grab the objects that were
rightfully hers.
ANOTHER BOOM! Rock Lee has entered the building! By means of the poor defenceless wall. Does anyone use doors anymore?
"NEJI MY YOUTHFUL TEAMMATE, WE HAVE A MISSION! AN- Tenten?" Lee blinked noticing his two teammates. Then his jaw hit
the floor. "OH MY GAWD. WERE YOU HAVING SEX!?" he exclaimed unnecessarily loud.
"NO!!!" they both yelled simultaneously and fleeing to opposite ends of the room. But Lee had already darted away,
yelling something about their teams only Delicate Flower's purity. All of Konoha had most likely heard the outburst,
which will cause many rumours. Then the two looked at each other. They hadn't realized how awkward it looked. With the
straddling, and the hands up the shirt....and the red faces from wrestling for the past couple minutes. Then they both
screamed in horror, which soon turned to anger.
"Truce?" she offered.
"Yes. humiliate Lee?" he suggested.
"Definantly."
"......can I have the cookie?"
"No."
He frowned and crossed his arms but continued to listen to her. "Let's think of how we can get revenge on Lee. And
where are my weapons?" she glowered.
Laying on his bed smugly, he said "Give me a chocolate bar and I'll tell you." She blinked a couple times and pegged
him between the eyes with one.
"They are under my bed." he frowned rubbing the sore spot. Once she pulled the bags out, they set to creating their
evil plan.
Team Gai Insanity
Chapter 3
More Revenge!
The rumours of Neji and Tenten had spread around Konoha faster than flies to a fresh cow pie. It was a day after the
news had "leaked out." Although by leaking out I mean being yelled youthfully at the tops of Lee's lungs. Neither of
the victims had left the boundaries of the Hyuuga compound yet, not wanting to face any interrogations.
Especially by Neji's fangirls. There would be carnage. And don't forget the death threats and various forms of insults.
So they plotted their revenge on their soon to be un-youthful teammate.
"So...what should we do?" Tenten asked.
"Something mean." Neji replied, looking out the window.
"....duh." he glared at her. "What do you suggest?"
".....Hn." he grunted, looking back out the window.
"C'mon! Your a genius, you should know how to torture people!" He gave her no reply, but frowned deeper.
She rolled her eyes. "Hey wait...I got an idea." she grinned.
"What might that be?" he asked sitting down across from her on the floor.
"Well...."
~At Ichiraku Ramen
"I must eat 3 bowls of ramen to be fully energized for training today! If I can not, I will do 100 push ups!" Lee
yelled enthusiastically.
"Well calm down kiddo! Don't eat too fast or you'll choke." the owner chuckled. Then a blob of orange zipped under the
entrance.
"Well if it isn't my best customer!"
"Hiya! One bowl of ramen please!" Naruto said cheerfully. The shopkeeper nodded and went to fufill the order.
"Hey Lee, is it true?" Naruto asked mischievously, elbowing his arm.
"Is fwhat twu?" said Lee, mouthful of noodles.
"About your 'teammates', of course." His fox grin grew wider.
"YOSH! I walked in on them!" Lee yelled very loudly, spattering his noodles everywhere. The sudden outburst attracted
more attention. Soon there was more people that joined in on the conversation.
~Neji's Room
"Lee is more of a dead man than he was 5 seconds go! Look!" Neji said angrily with his face pressed against the glass.
"What is he doing now?" Tenten asked following his gaze out the window. Lee could easily be seen from afar in his green
spandex and chuunin vest, surrounded by a crowd making various hand gestures.
"I bet he's telling everyone about yesterday." Neji sneered, opening his window. Lee's obnoxious voice could also be
heard easily from afar.
He was in the nice guy pose yelling "The fires of youth and passion have obviously become too unbearable for them, so
they-"
"GAH!" both teens yelled in frustration, snapping the window closed again.
"Let's make him suffer..." Neji said darkly.
"Oh he will...."
~Later that night
Neji and Tenten, disguised in black shinobi outfits, snuck next to Lee's window. Neji pulled out a slip of paper.
"Alright, here’s the plan," he began reading. "Phase 1: Collect underpants...." He stopped and re-read it.
"What??" she asked/giggled/snorted. He looked up from the note with a scowl.
"Hinata watches too much South Park......"
"Lemme see!" she said grabbing it from him. It read:
PHASE 1: Collect underpants.
PHASE 2: ?
PHASE 3: PROFIT
(Sheesh Hinata I like South Park too but even I don’t try to copy the underpants gnomes.)
"...What the hell is she going to do with underpants? And whose underpants? What is she planning to profit off of?" she
inquired looking to him again.
"Is that important right now?"
"Yes."
He ignored her and put the note back in the bag and pulled out a different one. "Let's try this again. Phase 1....."
After a minute of going over the plan, they were ready to put it in action. She opened the window without a problem and
was about to go in when Neji pulled her back outside.
"That reminds me," he whispered. "What the hell was with all the traps?!"
"Oh yeah...I get a bit paranoid..." she said sheepishly. "AND..I figured you wouldn't let me go without inflicting some
sort of emotional/physical pain or discomfort." she nodded.
"True...." he agreed.
She started to go in again, but he pulled her back out again. "What now??" she questioned. "This is not the time to be
interrogating me."
"What...dare I ask are you paranoid of, that you have THAT many traps?"
"YOUR FACE."
"...what?" he brought his hands up to his face. "NO! IT"S HAPPENED! LEE GAVE ME HIS UGLY!" he dramatically whispered.
Tenten popped her head out from Lee's room. "What the hell are you doing?" she qestioned, giving him an odd look. "Get
in here and stop being a drama queen." She went back to her business, and Neji tried to regain his ego after being
called a 'queen'.
When he finally went in, he found that his partner-in-crime had already packed up most of Lee's spandex into a bag that
was labelled "TEH GOODS". Neji went over to Lee's bedside and pulled out a shaver and some scissors. Tenten set the
goods down, and went to assist her comrade.
"I can't wait to see his face....." she whispered, Neji nodded.
~The next day
Lee woke up and stretched, getting ready to start his morning routine. However he never got to that, because he noticed
that not one of his youthful green spandex's was in the spots he left them in. He threw the covers off and walked to his
closet, then opened the door. His jaw hit the floor when he saw his closet completely spotless. Now in a panic, he ran
to his drawers and ripped them out of the dressers, only to find the same emptiness of his closet.
"LE GASP! What on earth has happened to the spandex of love!" he shrieked. He went to grab the sides of his hair in
frustration and confusion, but realized that there was again, something missing. He ran to the bathroom and looked at
his mirror in horror.
"MY HAIR! MY EYEBROW! OH THE CARNAGE!!!!" he screamed. Then he passed out on the bathroom floor.
~Team Gai training grounds
Both Neji and Tenten had gone right to the training grounds while it was still dark, and rested in a tree until they
would see Rock Lee in a frenzy over his missing youthfulness.
"GAI-SENSEEIIII! IT'S HORRIBLE!!!!"
They were awakened by said person, and his obnoxious, wake-up-the-dead yelling. Both of them sniggered at their
dirty-work. Rock Lee was half bald on his left side, and missing his left eyebrow. He was also deprived of his spandex
of love, and in his pajamas that said YOUTH all over in bright obnoxious colours.
"Too bad we never got to finish...." sighed Neji.
*flashback to the previous night*
"Alright, I have his eyebrows, you start on his hair..." Neji ordered, handing her scissors. "Good thing he sleeps
heavier than you."
"What are you talking about?"
He stared at her like she had a second head. "I set off every trap in your house, knocked a number of things over, sent
a cat out your window, who later found its way back and attacked me.....which was really odd by the way...what pourpose
did the cat serve in that trap??" He asked, stopping to cross his arms.
"Your going into a tangent..."
"Oh...anyways..my point is.....wait....what was my point? What were we talking about?"
"The cat?"
"..."
"Heavy sleepers?"
"Oh yes. My point was, that I made all that noise, and then I step on one creaky floorboard, and you are like a rabid
jack-in-the-box!"
"So? What does it matter right now anyway, were 'sposed to be getting sweet revenge!" she said going back to her work,
trying to change the subject.
"Hn', I'll just bother you tomorrow." he shrugged.
She decided to ignore his last comment, knowing she wan't going to get the last word in this conversation. They worked
silently for another five minutes, until Lee started reciting his vows of rivalries and his love for Sakura. Ten
minutes after that, Lee was most definatly in the middle of a dream.
"OSU!!" Lee yelled in monotone, and striking Neji in the forearm with the side of his palm. "Fight me.....for I
shall...be...the victor..." His voice trailed off nearing the end of his statement. Lee had hit he shaver out of Neji's
hand so he kneeled down to pick it up. Tenten was for once the smarter of the two, and backed away, noticing Lee's
movements getting more frequent by the second. Neji was straightening up again when Lee's fist hit him right on the
back of the head.
"What the hel-"
This time, it was Lee's foot that connected with the Hyuuga's gut. Neji just decided to lay on the floor after being
knocked down, rather than risk being pummled by a sleeping bafoon.
"Floor meet Neji, Neji meet floor." Tenten joked.
"Shut up. And I would love to know the significance of sleeping with weights on....." Neji mumbled from the ground.
"Why dont we just leave...we got half of him ruined. I don't think we should attempt trying to roll him over."
"Fine." Neji lifted his head off the ground and gave the green beast his patented Hyuuga Glare of Death. Then he slowly
got up and akwardly clipped one last chunk of hair off his head, before dodging another fist.
*End Flashback*
"Yeah that sucked. But oh well he still looks halarious. Actually, I think he looks worse this way." Tenten grinned.
Neji was rubbing the bump on the back of his head.
"LEE MY YOUTHFUL STUDENT!! What on earth has happened to you!" Gai-sensei cried, running to him.
"I. DON'T. KNOW." Lee yelled dramatically. "What should I do Gai-Sensei!?"
"Don't worry Lee! WE CAN GET THROUGH THIS! BELEIVE IN YOURSELF!!"
"GAI-SENSEI!!!"
"LEE!!!"
"GAI-SENSEI!!"
"LEE!" Suddenly there was a sunset with sparkles and dolphins and hugging and- need I go through this?
The 'sane' members of Team Gai sat still in their tree. "Well...I wonder what they're gonna do now...." Tenten wondered
aloud.
"LEE! We will go and fix this with youthful ART!!" yelled Gai-sensei triumphantly.
"YOSH!" Lee also yelled triumphantly, following his sensei.
"I'm scared to see what they are going to do..." Neji said, rubbing his temples, Tenten agreeing with him. They got
down from their hiding spot, once the other two were far enough away.
~Gai's apartment
"There! Lee you look as handsome as me again!" Gai grinned, giving him the nice guy pose.
"Yosh! Thank you Gai-sensei! Now I can go out in public again!"
But obviously, Lee had no fashion sense. Well, he had none to start with. But anyways, moving on! Lee's and
Gai-sensei’s new...hair-styles were....unique.
The Akatsuki Tesco Adventure!
This story Begins at the Akatsuki Lair....
Kisame:.....Ok Which one of you was it?
Itachi: What?
Kisame: WHICH ONE OF YOU DRANK THE LAST PEPSI!?!
Hidan: I Don't Drink Soda my Religion Forbids it...
Kisame: It was You Wasn't it?!*Points at tobi*
Tobi: Me!?! I have my Own Soda Right here!*Holds up a soda Bottle With the Words Good Boy Cola on it*I'm making Money
as we speak!
Kakuzu: What! Your Making Money And you didn't tell me!?!
Leader:*Walks in* What is going on in here?!
Kisame: Someone Drank my last Can of Pepsi!
Leader: THEN GO TO THE STORE AND BUY A NEW ONE!!!
Kakuzu: NO! i Will not let Kisame go And spend our hard earned Money on Some Stupid Drink!
Leader: If You Don't Go Then You can Say good bye to Your Piggy Bank!
Kakuzu: Well What are we Waiting For a bus? Lets go!
So Itachi, Kisame, Zetsu, Sasori, Hidan, Tobi, Deidara, The leader, and the unamed Member Got in the Akatsuki Mobile
and went to Tescos.
Leader: Ok Heres the deal we go in Buy Kisames Damn Pepsi And get out. Got it?
Everyone: Yes Sir Leader!
Leader: Now lets go!*Everyone Except hidan Walks in*
Hidan:.....
Leader: Whats up with you Hidan?
Hidan: This is a Sinfull Place I refuse to enter!
Leader: Your Coming Wether you like it or not!*Grabs hidan by the Ear and drags him inside*
Hidan: NOOOOOOOOOO MUST REPENT FOR SINS!!!!*Starts to Stab Himself*REPENT!!!!
Over in the Toy Section...
Sasori: Look what i found Deidara a Priceing Gun!*Puts a price tag on Tobi*
Tobi: TOBI IS A GOOD TOY!!!
Little Kid: MOMMY MOMMY LOOK AT THIS ONE!!*Points at Tobi*
Boys Mother: Let me see how Much it is..*Looks at the Price tag* Oh only 99p! You may get it Sweety..
Little Kid: YAY!!!
Mother:*Puts Tobi in the Cart* Come along, son
Sasori: Bye Bye Tobi!
Over in the plant section...
Zetsu:......
Assistant: Well You have Grown Big Haven't you!*Waters Zetsu*
Zetsu:*Gets a Evil Smile*Feed Me...
Assistant: Who Said that?
Zetsu: Feed me
Assistant:*Looks at Zetsu* Y-You Said That?
Zetsu: FEED ME NOW!
Assistant: Ummmm ok What Would you like?
Zetsu: PEOPLE!!!
Assistant: *Looks at a shopper*One Second! Excuse me Miss Would you like to See our Finest Plant?
Women: Um ok..*walks over to Zetsu*
Zetsu: *CHOMP!!Gulp!* More please!
Assistant: What’s Your Name anyway?
Zetsu: Zetsu..
Assistant: Ok Zetsu Wait here i'll get more People..
Zetsu: *Gets a happy Grin*I think I love Tescos!
Akatsuki's Tesco Adventure
Part Two
Kisame: Lets see Soda is in what Section...There it is!*Reaches For the last pack of Soda But it is taken away*
Naruto: WOW!i must be luckey Today to get the Last 24 pack of Pepsi!
Kisame: Excuse me Young man But i was Going For that May i please have it?
Naruto: NO WAY FISH HEAD I GOT THESE FIRST FAIR AND SQUARE!!!
Kisame: What did you call me!?!
Naruto: *Runs off with the Pepsi*
Kisame: GET BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!*chases after him*
Over in the Optical Center....
Docter: Ok now Let me see your eyes..
Itachi: MANGEKYO SHARINGAN!!!
Docter: GAHHHHHHHH!!!!
Itachi: Well that was fun...Mabye i should Go Check on Kakuzu..
Over at the Coin machine...
Kakuzu: MONEY!!!*Breaks open the Machine*
Security gaurd: HEY YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!
Kakuzu: Crazycopsaywhat!
Security Gaurd: What?
Kakuzu: I said i was Sorry...
Gaurd: Well ok Just get out of here...
Kakuzu: Hai!*While Running He Steals the Guards Wallet*Sucker...
Announcement: Attention Shoppers We have a lost Child Here in Cosmetics He won't Give us his name but he keeps Saying
I'm a good Boy. If this is your Child Pick him up in Cosmetics..
Tobi: HELLO TESCO SHOPPERS!
Akatsukis Tesco Adventure
Part 3
Deidara:*Walking through Cosmetics*Tobi Your an idiot why do i have to Go get yo-
Ino: OH MY GOD YOUR HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!
Deidara: Wha?
Ino: Come on i was About to go get a make over!
Deidara: Wait You don't Unerstand i'm a-
Ino: Come on it will be Fun!
Deidara: GAHHHHHH!!
Over with Kisame....
Kisame:*Pries the Soda From Naruto's hands and Kicks him away* TAKE THAT SODA THIEF!!!!*Walks to the Check out
Counter*
Cashier: That Will be 3.77$
Kisame: Here ya go!
Cashier: Have a nice day!
Kisame: You too!*Walks to the car*You Guys look happy...
Zetsu: I am full of Humans!
Kakuzu: I got 972.32$
Itachi: I fucked With The Coustomers Heads...
Sasori: I sold Tobi
Leader: Where is Deidara?
Over with Deidara...
Deidara: i feel Preety oh so Pretty!
Ino: You are My New best Friend!
Fin....Wait i'm Forgetting Something..
Tobi: The little boy picked me up from lost and found…….
Boy: Your New Name is Tony!
Tobi: Ok!!! Tony is a good boy!!!!!! ^_^
Sasuke’s Answering Machine
Sasuke’s Machine Message:
“I’m not here. Leave a message. I WILL NOT CALL YOU BACK YOU CRAZY FANGIRLS!” beep
~~~
Message #1
(Sakura) “Sasuke-kun! There’s a festival on Saturday, and I thought you might want to come with me… We could
watch the fireworks under the cherry blossoms! And ignore Ino-pig! She’s not worth your time! Call me!” beep
Message #2
(Ino) “Hellooooo Sasuke-kunn! No doubt Billboard Brow has already asked you to the festival. You turned her down, of
course! So, want to go to the festival with me? I’ll wear my special dress! Call me so we can figure out when
you’ll pick me up!” beep
Message #3
(Itachi) “Foolish little brother. You are weak. You lack hatred. Naruto-kun shall be mine! And there’s NOTHING YOU
CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! BWAHAHAHAHahaaaa… ha… and we’re out of milk. See you later.” beep
Message #4
(Naruto) “Hey Sasuke-teme, do you want to spar later? Loser treats winner to dinner. I look forward to kicking
you’re a**! Bye!” beep
Message #5
(Sakura) “Sasuke-kun! Ino-pig called, didn’t she? Forget her! Come to the festival with me!” beep
Message #6
(Ino) “Hey Sasuke-kun! Did forehead call you again? She’s not worth your valuable time! Goodbye Sasuke-kuuun!”
beep
Message #7
(Orochimaru) “Sasuke-kuuuunn… Come to me… I need your body… (Kabuto’s voice in background) Orochimaru-sama!
Get back here right now! You didn’t finish your oatmeal! (Oro) Kabuto! I’m busy! Another time, Sasuke-kun…
another time.” beep
Message #8
(unknown person) “Uchiha. You do not know me. I will only say this once. Stay away from Naruto-kun. He is mine. It is
our destiny to- (Hinata’s voice) Neji! What are you doing? What did I tell you about threatening people over the
phone? (Neji) Darn it, Hinata! This call was supposed to be anonymous! Um… You have heard nothing.” beep
Message #9
(random fangirl) “SASUKE! I LOVE YOU! I’D DO ANYTHING FOR YOU! I EVEN TOOK THAT WALK OFF A PIER FOR YOU! MARRY
MEEEEE!!!!” beep
10 ways to annoy Naruto characters
10 WAYS TO ANNOY GAARA:
1. While he is busy, randomly fire spitballs at him and say "I didn't do it..", and continue firing spitballs when he
isn't watching
2. Ask him why he wears mascara and his other makeup, if he doesn't answer, keep on asking, till he cracks.
3. Ask if you can do his make-up for him.
4. Get him to babysit your annoying kid brother and tell Gaara that he isn't allowed to hurt him.
5. Web-cam #4, and show all of the other ninja.
6. Keep on poking him and saying "Poke", till he tells you to stop and then poke his nose and say "meep"
7. Fill his gourd with water.
8. Stare intensely with a huge smile on at him without blinking.
9. Try to beat him up (DO NOT DO UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE KILLED)
10. Steal his gourd and run around town with it. (warning- u will die)
10 WAYS TO ANNOY KIBA:
1. Steal his jacket
2. Get a cat and let it lose in the classroom while Akamaru is around during a big test.
3. Buy him dog treats for his birthday.
4. Offer to give Akamaru a bath and dye him pink.
5. Tell him that cats are better than dogs and keep on telling him that a cat could easily beat him.
6. Do #5 and then when he decides to beat up the cat, take Akamaru and set him in a tiger cage in the zoo.
7. Do #5 and #6, then tell the zookeeper that a meanie (Kiba) is beating up the tiger.
8. Laugh at him for getting in trouble with the zookeeper.
9. Kidnap Akamaru. (if u wanna die)
10. Steal Akamaru while he is in the shower, hide him and yell to him that Akamaru is missing. Then when runs around
town looking for Akamaru, call him and say "Oh, silly me he was right here all along."
10 WAYS TO ANNOY SHIKAMARU:
1. Tell him that he is sexist.
2. Tell him that girls are superior to boys.
3. Tell him that the only reason that he doesn't like beating up girls is because that he is also one.
4. Ask him if he is gay, since he is so sexist and all.
5. While he is playing japanese chess, repeatingly say "hi" really annoyingly.
6. Sit behind in class and keep on poking him and asking him what everything means.
7. Go up to him and make a big deal about him not liking girls and telling him that he is sexist and such.
8. While he is sleeping/ watching clouds, do his make-up.
9. Do #8 and take pictures, then show them to the whole town.
10. In public, yell to Shikamaru that he is a sexist jerk who is mean and if you are a girl, yell at him for breaking
your heart (make sure lots of people are around for this one).
10 WAYS TO ANNOY SASUKE:
1. Repeatedly ask if he has killed his brother yet.
2. Wear an 'I LOVE SASUKE' T-shirt and tell everyone that you're his girlfriend
3. Tell him that Itachi is in the girls changeroom, while people are in there (He would so kill you.)
4. Lock him in a closet with Ino and Sakura.
5. Wait till he's in a shower and switch all of his clothes with 'I LOVE ITACHI' T-shirts.
6. Handcuff him to Naruto.
7. Do #6 and hide the key in the girls changeroom, then yell that there's a pervert in the changeroom.
8. Handcuff him to Itachi.
9. Handcuff him to Sakura and Ino.
10. Become an overly-obsessed-Sasuke-fangirl and stalk him yelling "Sasuke, I love you!"
10 WAYS TO ANNOY NARUTO:
1. Steal his ramen.
2. Steal his ramen and money.
3. Steal his ramen, money and all of his coupons.
4. Train a rabid squirrel to attack him and let it lose when no one is looking, and while people come as he screams
take it away before people see it and keep on doing it so people think he's insane.
5. Handcuff him to Sasuke.
6. Repeatedly tell him how much better Sasuke is comparing to him
7. Ask him to try on some girl clothes for you and hold his froggy ransom, then take pictures and send them to
everyone.
8. Tape him being with the perverted hermit while he was watching girls and tell him that he's a pervert.
9. Tell him that Hokage sucks.
10. Lock him in an indestructable cage and leave some ramen just out of his reach.
10 WAYS TO ANNOY SAKURA:
1. Tell her that you are Sasuke's girlfriend.
2. Call her Billboard Brow.
3. Set her up on a date with Lee and say it's Sasuke.
4. Invite everyone over to your house, including Sasuke and Ino, then play 7 Minutes Of Heaven. Put her the closet
blindfolded and tell her that you'll get Sasuke. Get Ino instead and say Sasuke is in there waiting and blindfold her,
then shove her in. Lock the door and laugh evily.
5. Tell her to close her eyes if she wants Sasuke to kiss her and get Naruto to kiss her instead.
6. Chant/ sing 'Sakura's in love with Sasuke!' all day really loudly, following her wherver she goes.
7. Superglue a 'I-Love-Lee' poster to her back and don't tell her.
8. Repeatedly ask if she likes Naruto, all day, even when he's near by.
9. Say that she's an ugly fag that's overly obsessed with Sasuke (I don't actually think that, by the way)
10. Give a whole of photos of Sasuke and say it is to make up for everything else and then tell everyone that she is a
stalker.
10 WAYS TO ANNOY LEE:
1. Tell him to wax his eyebrows.
2. Set him up with a session at the beauty parlour to get his eyebrows waxed.
3. Shave his eyebrows in the middle of the night.
4. Tell him that Gai-sensei is stoopid.
5. Shoot spitballs at Gaara, and when Gaara turns around, hand the straw to Lee.
6. When you take Gaara's gourd, give it to Lee, and force him to take the beating.
7. Sneak itching powder on his jumpsuit before a big match.
8. Tell Lee to get a 'fro', and when he does, start calling him Disco Dan.
9. Ask him to show you dance moves and tape it, then show everybody the tape.
10. Ask why he wears eye make-up (look at those eyelashes!)
10 WAYS TO ANNOY CHOJI:
1. Tell him that he is fat.
2. Put him on a diet.
3. When he is just about to eat some BBQ, tell him to look the other way and replace all of it with tofu.
4. Invite him to a restaurant and tell him that you'll pay for everything and disappear before you get the check.
5. Tell him no more snacks.
6. Spread a rumour that the snack factory is going out of business.
7. Set him up for a match against Gaara.
8. Lock him in a cage and eat chocolate cake in front of him.
9. Tell him that Ino is really mad and coming your way and to go hide in a closet, then stuff him in with Gaara in a
bad mood.
10. Talk about how fat he is with everyone, then when he comes in yell "HEY FATTY!!!"
I love u teddy-weddy
Note: in this sasuke is bak in knoha and naruto has killed itachi and saved sasukes life
Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and Sai met at the bridge as they did every morning. Sasuke was still sulkish, he wanted Sai
gone, but he had to stay. Sakura had stopped mooching him all together, and talked to Naruto as the blonde told them
about Baka-Chan [ "ITS LADY TSUNADE NARUTO!" Sakura would half yell half laugh], Jiriya, and anything else they missed
out on. Sai usually just had a staring contest with the Uchiha.
*Poof* "Hey Guys." Kakashi said arriving.
Naruto turned and looked at him with a rolling of the eyes and a flick of a Kunai. Kakashi doged it easily, but he
laughed. It was Naruto's way of saying "Your Late Idiot."
"Alright, I think were just gona spar today. Uh....I'll let you guys pick your partners, I need to go do something real
quick." Kakashi said poofing away.
Naruto rolled his eyes and said" Pervert." Jiriya was back in town, with a new book, there for its reading time for
Kakashi.
Turning back to everyone he smiled and said" Sakura, wana spar. I haven't done that with you in a while."
Shaking her head, Sakura chuckled" No thanks Mr.Giant."
It was true, Naruto had grown to be around 5' 9" in a year or so. Though it never ceezed with Sai's usual teasing of
"no penis!" which anger Naruto to no return. {One time he had went to far with the blonde, and regreted it with a few
scars} Sasuke, however, had noticed this and something else.
"I'll fight you. But lets make a bet." he smirked making Naruto cock an eyebrow. "I win......hmm...what do I want if I
win...." Sasuke trailed off. Naruto smirked and said" How about this?" and held up a stiched up teddy bear. Sasuke's
eyes bugged. "HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET THAT!" he yelled lunging for it, but missed miserably. Naruto smirked"
Eh....Remeber that one night we went out to Kingers, and your whole low tollerance for alchohal. After you crashed, I
saw it on the floor." Sasuke ignore the snickers from Sai and Sakura and screached" FINE. IF I WIN I GET THAT BACK AND
NONE OF YOU TELL ANYONE!" ending with a deathglare to all 3 of the laughing ninja's, he turned back to Naruto. "Deal,
if I win..."Narutos thinking smile, turned into a deviouse smirk. "If I win, you'll see what you get. Deal?" he asked
with an evil shadow casting on him.
Sasuke gave a snort, which covered up a nervouse laugh, and said" Sure. What's the rules? TaiJutsu? No weapons? What?"
Naruto shurgged and said" Anything goes, Just make sure I don't kill you." he teased walking a few feet away from
Sasuke and getting into position.
Sakura stood up and said" GO!"
Both boys were off in a second, their Kunai clashed in air many times before going back into view.
Sasuke was panting, Naruto had a kunai swinging aruond his finger. "Your not this out of shape are you Sasuke-chan?"
Narrowing his eyes, the Uchiha made a lunge for Naruto, but missed again. "Now Now, dont be a baby, use your skills."
teased the blonde making Sasuke inraged.
Sakura and Sai watched in awe on the side lines.
"Wow, Sasuke's getting pretty angry. Naruto has a bit more engry and tricks than usual. Didn't know it was possiable."
she sighed.
Naruto had just gave another tease to a lunging Sasuke, and dogged him easily.
"Come on Sasuke, You'll never win like that."
"SHUT UP KYUUBI!" Sasuke screamed but froze moments after realizing what he had said.
Naruto just yawned. "No No I dont think I will."he laughed going over to Sasuke and flicking him on the head. "You,
Teme." he snorted walking over to Sakura and sitting down against her knees.
"I...Naruto I didnt mean that...I...." Sasuke didnt know what to say.
Naruto gave a small laugh. "Sasuke It's okay, Kyuubi doesnt bother me. He is me in a way, so techniclly its my other
name. Thats not why I stopped, I stopped because your getting a bit to angry. You need to learn to ignore teases. Thats
how i beat that idiot of a brother you had."
Sasuke looked down. He always was in debt for Naruto saving his ass and defeating his brother , when he was stupid
enough to go on his own.
"Its not too hard. You just need to learn not to care what other people think. UNLESS, they're a stupid idiot who
thinks you have no penis." he shot a glare at Sai.
"You dont." the black haired boy snickered.
"Thats it." Naruto stood up. "I'll prove it to you."
Sai snorted "Yeah Right.", Sakura screamed" NO!", Sasuke laughed.
"Alrighty Then, I guess I have to prove it." and the blonde pulled down his pants.
"MY EYES!" Sakura yelled covering them.
Sasuke's head went down imdeatly to hide his face.
Sai just stared.
Pulling the orange pants back up, Naruto smiled.
"Now you know. I do have one."
Sakura was still hidding her eyes when she yelled" NARUTO UZIMAKI YOU ARE SO WEIRD!"
Sasuke just got up and hit his head against a tree.
Sai just sat there.
"Damn....You do have one...I'd never think...and bigger than mine." Sai said a tear falling.
Naruto snorted "HA!"
Sasuke slapped his forehead saying" Well, now that THAT is over. You won Im guessing. What did you want?"
Naruto smiled and turned to Sasuke. "Okay take your shirt off and lay down on your stomach."
Even Sakura looked up to see this.
Sasuke slowly did what Naruto said and asked" Why...."
"You'll see." the blonde hummed as he pulled out a marker.
Sasuke felt the cool tip his his back and just wondered.
"Done!" the blonde said 10 minutes later.
Sasuke stood up and turned his back to Sakura and Sai asking "What is it."
Both of them burst out laughing.
"Naruto what did you draw." Sasuke growled.
Getting a mirror from Sakura, Naruto held it up for Sasuke to see.
In Sharpie Ultra-Perment marker he had drawn a picture of Sasuke holding the teddy bear with cursive writting saying "I
love you Teddy-Weddy."
Sasuke just stood there. "You're dead."
They were off. Sasuke chased him through the village to the top of Hokage Mountain.
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