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So What Do You Do When You Finally Realize...

So...what are you supposed to do when you finally realize that your young.
You realize your so young that it comes to you...
You aren't getting married any time soon.

Why do we play these games of "love" with ourselves at such a very vulnerable state.
Is it normal? Or is it just hurtful and damaging?
At thirteen I have realized something, something that I'm glad i now know.
Life is a heartbreak.
Everything ends in a tragedy, no matter how perfect things seem to be.
We all die, and wether you believe theres a second life or not...we all die.
We leave behind the ones we love some way or another.
By accident,
by victimism,
by suicide,
by age,
by sickness...
Its truly not fair.

Has there ever been a time in your life things haven't messed up?
Now even not knowing who is reading this I know you cannot answer yes, hypathetically speaking, "outloud or in mind".

If you have further interest in this at all.
Read this conversation inbetween me and my stepbrother, Karson.


karson-

Girls can be sweet and innocent but at the same time they can 
break ur heart or juss hurt u realy bad i kno u girls are always 
cheating and lying to ya i kno guys are the same way but when 
girls break up with guys it hurts way way worst trust me i would 
definately kno cuz my heart is broken right now at this very 
second and i hope she knows that(Lindsey)well juss to let ya kno 
girls give us guys a break and loosin up a lil bit 


kristin(me)-

your so wrong. 
you have no idea how hard it is. 
when a guy breaks a girls heart. 
because the with vulnerablity of a young girl. 
to give her heart to a boy 
and get up the courage to completely trust him 
and say yes to him. 
and believe he'll never hurt her 
is beyond belief hard. 
and they're so happy 
and then the boy turns around and is through with her after he gets exactly what he wants. 
and shes left alone. 
with no heart and no one left to turn to 
because she let it all go 
and gave it all away 
for that one boy 
that broke her heart. 


karson- 

see no but girls are the same way cuz once they see another hot guy its blown over like a leaf soo dont act like girls
are the only ones that get hurt 


kristin- 

thats not what im saying. 
karson no offence... 
but the girl you picked 
must be a total slut. 
okay? 
i mean 
i dont know her or anything 
but if she lets one other goodlooking guy ruin a relationship she willingly agreed to be part of that she's a fucking
whore. 
don't think i'm agaisnt you in this i'm totally on your side. 
but, 
the reason i responded to your bulliten in the first place is because you made a generalization that all girls are like
lindsey. 
and they're not. 
i promise. 
i know guys can get hurt just as bad as a girl but before you start making a big deal out of one thing that happened to
you think about all of the hearts you've broken. 
sad isn't it? 
i'm sure this "lindsey" girl has done the same thing to many many boys. 
and sure there are a lot of girls like her out there but i'm sure you really try to find a good one. 
one that you know won't just cheat on you after a half a week. 
one that wants to take a relationship slow. 
one that has a truly pure heart. 
one that is fun but down to earth and practical. 
you understand? 
i mean come on. 
this lindsey person put a picture of herself on her myspace in a triangle bikini top and bunny ears. 
and to make it worse 
she took it in a boob veiw to make her boobs look bigger. 
honny, shes a SKANKKKK. 
and thats not fair to you that you liked her just because of some picture thats shes way to young to be exposing herself
on the internet with. 
you got the courage to ask her out and then she breaks your heart i mean what did you expect? 
let me tell you something i finally realize. 

i just can't understand why we young adults play these games of love with eachother. 
i mean sure its fine but really? 
all it is, is a waist of tears. 
1.) boy likes girl. girl likes boy. boy asks girl out. girl cheats. boy gets his heart broken. 
or 
2.)girl likes boy. boy likes girl. boy asks girl out. boy cheats. girl gets her heart broken. 
now, 
sorry for writing the bible here but these are good points i want you to live based off of. 
okay in the "1.)" scenario, the boy asks out the girl and she cheats on him. 
that hurts the most because the boy had to get up the courage to ask out the girl knowing she might say no. though the
girl says yes. and the boy is pridefull in himself and happy in his heart. then the girl cheats and his pride is crushed
to pieces along with his ego. 
okay? 
in the "2.)" scenario, the boy asks out girl and the girl says yes. the girl is very happy but doesnt know well enough
to wonder why that boy starts ignoring her. the girl suspects its nothing serious and ignores it. she finds out the boy
was cheating and her self-esteem is trampled over. and he leaves her with no sence of trust. 

correct? 
okay. 
so there are bads to both sides. 
right? 
and also i've realized. 
why do we play these games with ourselves, call it love, and fail in the end? 
well i'll tell you. 
hormones and exposure to perfect fairytale endings mix and it gives you.....do you know what it gives you? 
it gives you a thing called "lust". 
and lust is the thing most mistaken for love at an early age. 
anyone you've ever called your first love? 
okay let me break it to you. 
you broke up 
and it didnt work. 
correct? 
you guys didn't get married 
she was your first lust. 
okay? 
what you thought was love but couldn't be practical to the situation therefore it was lust. 
no one our age is getting married anytime soon okay? 

now another thing i want you to understand. 
im not saying messing around with the concept of "lust" is a bad thing oh not it all. 
flirting, and going out, kissing, hugging, and all the farther steps i'm sure your aware of "lol" are just ways to train
for the real world [love/lustwise] 
okay? 
and 
sure 
im guilty of calling a boy my first love. 
but i don't even mention his name anymore because i'm litterally afraid of myself. 
but i won't get into that because it'd be like you reading the whole old testemant. 
anyways. 
my point being in the end. 
i flirt, you flirt. 
we both flirt. 
everyone does it. 
its totally normal haha. 
and 
everyone gets their hearts broken. 
thats it. 


karson- 

and ur totaly right i guess it was lust 


(sorry guys for the cussing) i was steamed up when wrote it.
sorry i wrote the whole dictionary too.
:/
but
if you have any feeling toward that whatsoever.
help me out here...
was i wrong to make those statements?
if so...then...how?
and if you agree...
tell me what you agree with.
:]
thanks guys.
-kristin
 
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  kristino — Page created: 13 January 2007
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hina writes:   13 January 2007   258175  
Wow, that was long but worth the read.

I agree completely with your "first lust" concept.
Love means so many things; different things for different persons.

I think only few people can experience the true "love". Most are just looking for an
outlet to satisfy their needs. Don't you realize, with such advancement in technology
and social culture, humans are getting lonelier from day to day?
 
Cuttie says:   14 January 2007   588677  
it was long.it was great.but i didnt completly understand it.
MrHello says:   16 January 2007   356831  
This is great.I agree with Hina(who is awesome)
keyshia says:   6 February 2007   959121  
this is so cool, and great, i would give it a thumps up two thumps up!!!!!
2_sexxy_4_u says:   14 January 2008   563762  
i didnt get it?
kristino says :   12 February 2008   888473  
mm i guess you'd have to read it a few times then.
everyone else seems to have understood it.
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