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23 F United States of America
speaks English
Last login: 11 May 2016
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Member since: 11 May 2016
 John Mayer, Kings of Leon, and Taylor Swift forever lol
I'm only making this account in hopes that maybe someday my old
friend Lucas will see.
When we were friends, I was young. I was so young and I didn't know
anything about anything. I tried so hard to get you to quit doing
heroin, because I was a kid and I thought I was good enough for you to
quit. I didn't understand. One thing I can tell you is that I loved
you with all of my heart. You told me I should sing Wild Horses for
the talent show and I did. I did it for you. You and I at one point
only talked on im for a while, and even though you never got on, I
stayed on. I stayed on praying you would come on and talk to me. I'd
be so mad at myself when you messaged me and I slept through it. You
used to call me tina fey and tina gay. I miss that. I'm different now
though. I used to be so negative about myself and now I'm not. You
used to tell me I was beautiful and I never believed you, but
whatever, now I have confidence. I've had sex with too many people.
You remember how my parents kept me sheltered, yeah well I found my
own ways of doing things. I used to whore myself around and do a lot
of drugs to stay okay. I swore I wasn't going to drugs, and here I am,
struggling with a heroin addiction just like you and I smoke weed too
much. You remember I used to give you shit for doing it and here I am,
with the same fucking problem. I didn't get it. I really didn't. I
would've never gotten it until I did it and I became an addict. I've
been with my boyfriend for 2 years and 2 months now. He sent me to
rehab over half a year ago. It was the only way I'd get to see my
brother again. You remember he was my best friend. Rehab was so
shitty. I felt like a prisoner. And honestly, I'm a little pissed that
I went now because here I am, still using. I've only shot it once, but
I could snort pretty much half a gram to get high. I hate trying to
shoot it. I thought you could just quit it, but it's not like that. I
had a friend in cosmetology school that I harassed to let me try it
and she did, and it stuck. I tried it just because I wanted to see
what you meant. And I do, I get it. I've fucked up a lot. I was
getting really bad on it, I had withdraws really bad. I don't know
whats going on anymore. I've gotten to where I can quit cold turkey
and be okay for maybe a month, and after that I start breaking down
and I get it. I don't use every day now. When I am using a bit, I get
some and do it for  a day and a half nonstop. Nodding the whole time,
and then I can go a few days without getting it. I wish I would've
never touched it. Now I don't know how you are. I don't know where you
are, or if you're alive. I hope you are. I hope you somehow see this.
I know you most likely won't, but I hope you do. I'm going to post a
picture of you in hopes someone can get me in touch with you. I really
doubt it, but maybe. If you do see this, look me up on facebook.
or email me.

Don't say a word, just come over and lie here with me
'Cause I'm just about to set fire to everything I see
I want you so bad I'll go back on the things I believe
There I just said it, I'm scared you'll forget about me

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