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You swine. You vulgar little maggot. You worthless bag of filth. As they say
in
Texas. I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the
heel.
You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than
be
seen with you.
You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm
deserving
nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your
life is a
monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour
lemon.
You are a bleating foal, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with
the
effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An
insensate,
blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling
beasts
who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.
I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as
you. You
are a monster, an ogre, a malformation. I barf at the very thought of you. You
have
all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less
than
nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention
you
smell?
Try to edit your responses of unnecessary material before attempting to impress
us
with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be
available to
readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.
You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak
into
your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before
spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood.
May you
choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.
You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and
profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look
down
on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic,
starved
for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.
And what meaning do you expect your delusional self-important statements of
unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that
you
would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that
of a
leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the
snake?
You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious.
You
are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless
void.
You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed
drooling meat slapper.
On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in
all
that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and
filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all
unpleasantness. You
spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.
You smarmy lager lout git. You bloody woofter sod. Bugger off, pillock. You
grotty
wanking oink artless base-court apple-john. You clouted boggish foot-licking
twit.
You dankish clack-dish plonker. You gormless crook-pated tosser. You churlish
boil-brained clotpole ponce. You cockered bum-bailey poofter. You craven
dewberry
pisshead cockup pratting naff. You gob-kissing gleeking flap-mouthed coxcomb.
You
dread-bolted fobbing beef-witted clapper-clawed flirt-gill.
You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate,
noxious
and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything
about
you, and I wish you would go away.
I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid.
Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the
stupid we
know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid.
Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have
collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity
stupid.
Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second
than
our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a
troll.
Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some
primordial
fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid
so
uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we
know.
I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you
may
not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride
your
ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of
the
rest of this drivel. Duh.
The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most
of
what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt
at
constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together
a
bunch of in
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