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Here goes a story of a girl everyone thought they knew. She hides a
hate inside that has a state of mind that will put her in her grave.
It began with her friends. They never noticed the despair in her eyes
from the pressure. Her life is etched in stone before she could make a
choice of her own. She’s dedicated for everyday she tries to make it
on her own. She always put everyone else’s needs before her own. She
was always there when they needed her and she never asked for anything
in return. She could only take so many knives in the back before she
would finally crack.

In his eyes she’s just pair of dice she won’t be number one, she
can’t be number one. So, she tried to comply with everything
they’ve ever asked her and her life is stitched with one way
tickets to places she doesn’t want to visit. One day she’ll
realize that her friends never had good intentions. To them she will
say,” Don’t let my name roll of your dirty tongue as if it was
spit. You spit nothing but puke about others whom are deeper then
yourself, till your words is up to your knees. I tell you this
because frankly, you’re the horror on the other side of the fence.
So, get real and get on your knees since that’s all you shall ever
be”.  They will be stunned, petrified, and scared. No one will ever
dare underestimate her strength of mind. Just because she knows you,
doesn’t mean you’re friends. Just because she listens, doesn’t
mean she cares. She doesn’t believe in the term ‘friend’ any
longer. Friends are for the weak of mind.

	Some lonesome nights, she’ll lie in her bed and think how love
isn’t all “weak-in-the-knees and butterflies”. Her mind still
strung along to a love once known. She’ll remind herself of the
treatment she was given b y him, and over the phone she’ll confess.
“You should swallow your teeth and hang out and stay a while. If
your heart is still beating, it must be the blood. If your lungs are
still working then it must be the mud. If its still light out, then
another kick in the ribs. I don’t see anything in you anymore so
say what you want to say. It’s funny how I’m not listening”.
Don’t rely on others to make you happy, it’s an inside job. 

		Every night for the past few years, she thinks to herself,” I’m
never going to be perfect. Maybe I don’t deserve his trust, but
I’m doing the best I can. I’ve never dealt with such pressure.”
She lost her head but you couldn’t come. This lust to her brain
almost feels like a gun. So, save your breathe because you’re going
to need it. You don’t realize what a monster you are becoming.
It’s hard learning how to love, but she’s melting in your eyes.
She’s lost her place. Could she stay a while? She’s melting in
your eyes, like the first time she caught fire. Get your head out of
the clouds and come back to reality. You can stay and watch her fall
and of coarse she’ll ask for help. Watch as she experiences it
again; heartbreak. She has a monster living inside her and every time
you come close it just wants to leap out from her throat and take her
heart along. Baby, she has potential.

	You’ve seemed to stop her breathing. She’s just waiting to lie
on your chest and cave in from the bottom of her heart. She would do
anything just to hear your voice again but this time could you dim
the sun and wonder where you’ve been? So, kiss her, her heart
stopped beating, such a softer sin. Breathe. Every day she’s a
mess, because you’re acting like you’ve never known each other.
Twist these words into stones. Why are hearts not healing, learning
how to love? So, just stay with her, lay with her. You could just
take your heads off, sit and talk, make love, that’s all.

Her last words will be to say she’s sorry. This is her life and
now, this cool, summer evening, her bedroom filled with the emptiness
as the silence cuts through like a knife knowing she’ll never have a
chance. She feels like taking her head off and staying in bed. She was
determined, but she decided to dig her teeth into her knees and sing
to your machine,” You are my sun shine, my only sun…..shine.”
She’s standing on the line between giving up all hope and seeing
how much more she can take.



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Ian Prestin

i love you



SHANE! (: ffuuuuuccck.




Stick your arm out the car window, Watch it. It stands still -- As
everything blurs past That's how I feel Like I'm left standing here
And life blurs past. Nothing is left. - Whitney Dudley