Though...I don't really want to grow up. That's why I'm going to
marry Peter Pan. We'll battle pirates and...fly. People live too far.
I hope things work out; I hope they get better. I hope I find someone
to make me smile soon. I want to start painting more. I want to start
drawing more. I want to start writing and singing more. I want to meet
new people and become closer to the friends I already have. I want to
mean something to someone. It's getting to the point where I think
that relationships as a teen aren't even worth having. We all get
hurt at some point in time. There's a quote that says "It's better to
have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." & I'm not so
sure if I believe it. I used to. But I hate goodbyes and I hate
crying. I hate getting hurt. I hate that feeling I get the in the pit
of my stomach when I know something bad is about to happen. I hate
mean people. I hate people who run around sticking their noises into
other peoples business. I hate when people who don't even know you
judge you and have something to say. I hate jealousy. I hate change.
I hate when people make fun of other people. I hate hardasses. I
don't understand why people are so rude. I hate being looked at,
being stared at, and being approached by random strangers. I'm afraid
of losing things before I even get a hold of them; friendships, trust,
love. I hate when people curse at me. I take everything to heart and
as much as I try to say I don't care about what you think...under
most circumstances I do care. I do believe in God. & even if he
wasn't real, I'd tell myself he was anyway. He's something to look up
to; someone I know I can always talk to. An athiest once told me "i'm
glad that it gives people something to believe in." And as much as I
could not stand him what he said will probably stick with me forever.
And even though you might have to throw in a couple advil after
praying for you're stomach ache to go away, I know God's always
there, always listening, always watching, always caring, always
helping. I get mad at him a lot. I blame him for things I shouldn't.
Everything I go through I know will only make the outcome better in
the end. People think too much. Some things just don't have answers.
& most of the time when we're looking for an answer to something, we
make it up and settle with whatever "makes sense". A lot of things
don't make sense. I'm fine with it. God gave us knowledge and
sometimes we take what we know or want to know and turn it against
him just to make up reasons for everything. My entire life doesnt not
revolve around shows, my entire life does not revolve around clothes
and shoes and makeup, my entire life does not revolve around myspace.
When I'm 40 all the things I love now will not do me any good. The
world does not revolve around me and the seasons don't change
depending on what mood i'm in. I love parks. I love being at parks
with people. I love long fences and huge fields. I love stars. I love
when things look beautiful just because you're around someone special.
I can tell if you're a good person even if I've only met you a couple
times. I hate how the littlest things bother people. You hating what
music people listen to and what clothes they're wearing doesn't do
you any good so I don't understand why you even bother. I'm not all
about looks. I see beauty in everyone. 



yea i wish my friends were like that!!!