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Alri


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1 June 2011, 11:09 PM   #1
Guest Poster
This beautiful little girl named Alri is simply the most stunning thing i've ever
happened upon and I truly believe she's the best thing I am ever going to lay eyes on.She
has stunning long brown hair and green eyes which sparkle prettier than stars ever
could.Standing at 4'8 she is absolutely stunning and, a sight for any person to
behold.She's dressed down in a blue dress which are fashioned like overalls at the top
and
she's wearing black and blue rather stylish leggings.Her shoes are like the kind a tap
dancer would wear I forget the name of these particular types of shoes.My little sister
wore some just like them long ago back in my early childhood at the young age of four.I
commented her on them and of course like any normal four year old she excitedly accepted
the compliment and continued to walk proudly to school in them.

My name is Craig Thorton and i'm a twenty six year old man I have no particular interest
nor do I consider myself suited for anything that requires much talent.I am not all that
intelligent or so I don't consider myself to be though I got through high school and
decided to stop my education there.I was an honor student back in middle school, but why
would you be interested in knowing what kind of student I was back then?You probably want
me to get on with it and describe the here and the now.I'm dressed down in rather casual
clothing a blue sweater,jeans, and black sneakers with a dotted line pattern around the
shoe strap area.My shoes are strap ons, but as a grown man I know full well how to tie my
shoes and I have shoes back at home which require shoe tying.

But of course you don't want to know about a petty little detail like that either do
you?You probably are interested in who I was initially describing.She happens to be a
little girl age eleven who isn't all that tall in stature and who knows maybe that is why
she appeals to me so much.If so by this point you probably are assuming I must be
mentally
unhealthy to be so fixated on such a young girl.As if I care what you think though
perhaps
the fact that I talk to myself in my head like this is enough to deem me insane, really I
don't care about that either though.

2 June 2011, 05:34 PM   #2
The Founder
Joined: 2 Apr 2009
Posts: 350
This is kinda of.....wicked and funny at the same time. I can't think of any other words
to really describe it. x]
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2 June 2011, 08:05 PM   #3
Joined: 29 Apr 2011
Posts: 6
Last edited by Einherjar, 2 June 2011
The pacing is broken. You often stop the flow to talk about backstories or appearances,
and then go off into separate little tangents, before continuing to the next scene. Try to
incorporate these little details into the actual story.
So, instead of discrete data, you get continuous data. <-- I hope you've learned this in
Math. Otherwise, this is just gibberish.

Oh what the Hell Childhood's been banned.

26 June 2011, 06:03 PM   #4
Joined: 16 Jun 2011
Posts: 4
Okay, i'm sitting at my apartment right now doing something real manly it's called
drinking a beer and watching baseball while I belch every few minutes.Not only am I doing
that but i'm sitting in a chair watching from a window my beautiful darling angel Alri
she's skipping as innocently as could be licking a vanilla ice cream cone.I watch as her
tounge moves on the vanilla flavored ice cream and as she, without a care continues to
smile and giggle to her heart's content.I continue to do this for a few minutes until
she's out of view.I can still hear the sound of her talking and giggling for a few more
seconds afterwards and than I close my window and sit infront of my tv set watching
baseball.The team I usually root for just got their but's handed to them and at this point
aren't going to make it the rest of the season.

I turn the tv off as I grab the remote in a lazy fashion and simply throw it to the left
side of the sofa and continue to think about the little girl i've come to know as Alri.I
begin to ask myself questions about her, such as what is it I plan to eventually do about
my apparent feelings for her?I guess I could always try kidnapping her against her will.I
stop myself at that thought and realize what it is that I was just about to consider.I sit
blank minded for a minute or two and suddenly, counter my stopping my thoughts about the
idea of kidnapping her against her will with maybe it could work out.I'm not illiterate
though and I happen to be an avid reader, i've read the book Lolita and we all know how
the hell that worked out.I guess we'll see and soon as I can somehow find the perfect
opportunity to do such a thing.

Yeah, that's it I must really be insane at this point.

26 June 2011, 06:22 PM    #5
Joined: 16 Jun 2011
Posts: 4
I'm sitting in an empty park on a bench all the kids are gone so I guess the parents
decided it was time to take their little ones and make an exit out of here to put them to
sleep for their naps and have grown up conversations with each other.I spot a red ball in
the corner of my eye and realize I could go over pick it up and keep it for no apparent
reason.I know, you most likely think i'm a wierd person at this point but quite frankly my
dear reader I don't give a damn.I slowly stand up and walk over at a medium pace to the
ball, bending down and picking it up for a little close up inspection.There is nothing
really distinguishing about it aside from the fact that one it's round and two it's red.

I decide to put it down and leave it in the area I found it I don't have much need for a
ball that probably belonged to a toddler who forgot it or something.Just as i'm about to
exit the area and head back to the comfort of my apartment I spot a young girl who it only
seconds for me to recognize.I realize, it's the girl i've been aserting obsessive thoughts
about all this time it's the girl i've been refering to as Alri in my head.I don't
understand though, why is she alone and without someone watching her or a parental
gaurdian?She stares at me momentarily and than proceeds to go over to the spot where I
just was and pick up the red ball that belongs to her.She comes over to me slowly
afterwards.I think her parents are near by and probably just waiting for her to return
with the red ball she forgot.

''Hey, what's you're name?''she ask me in a timid voice.

I stubble on my words but manage to answer ''My name's Craig''.

It's so strange the girl I thought I would do nothing more than stalk and never get a
chance to talk to is right her asking me what my name is, the girl who I contemplated some
minutes ago kidnapping from her loved ones.Was this really happening?I could hardly,
believe it but it seemed vivid enough this defintely wasn't a dream or trickery from my
insane head of any kind.

''I see''she looks down narrowing her eyes at the ground.

''Well, I better be on my way''I tell her so I can hurriedly get out of her vicinity.

''Wait''she slightly shouts to me from behind.

''What is it?'' I ask her in what sounded to me like a bit of a monotone.

''Can I come with you to back to you're house?''

The question surprises me I didn't expect her to ask that kind of thing, alright now i'm
really wondering where the hell her parents are I don't want them to thinking i'm some
weird pedo or something.Why is she asking to come with me back over to where I live?

''I can't do that...don't you think that would seem a bit strange for a stranger like
myself to take a little girl like you back over to his home?''I ask her trying to knock
some sense into her.

''Sure, but I just kind of want to tag along I mean you seem nice enough and you're out
her all alone I kind of get the feeling you're a loner who needs company'' she tells me
with an angelic smile on her face.

I contemplate taking her but I quickly try to convice myself out of it but the fact that
i've been so fixated on her and the fact that I definitely don't have the intentions of
doing anything bad to her gets in the way of me making a more logical decision.

''Fine'' I respond.

She shouts yay with the enthusiasm of a six year old.



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