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[CRIT] 'Napped

11 September 2011, 03:55 AM    #1
Joined: 14 Jun 2011
Posts: 54
Sorry it's so long. If you want you can just skip the part between the -------, as the
story can function without that part. Anyway, tell me if you like it. I think the ending
might be a little choppy, but I'm too tired to re-read it. Enjoy.

"It was a typical Saturday night as Marjorie and Evan sat together under the

'Look, a shooting star!' Evan whispered as he pointed to the indigo sky. 'Make a wish,

'No,' replied Marjorie, "I can't. Everything I need is right here, with you. Life is
perfect. It's'"

"Don't write that!" protested Evan as he read over Marjorie's shoulder.

"Why not?" asked Marjorie. "Its romantic!"

"No it's not, it's cheesy."

Twenty-one Marjorie closed her purple composition book with a huff. "Fine, then what am I
supposed to write for my English class? Mr. Bodar said to write a story based on a true
event that's happened in our lives. And I want to write about us. You should feel

"Marj, when on earth have we ever sat together at night and watched a shooting star go
by?" Before she could answer, Evan tackled her, pushing her over so that he was laying on
top of her on their scratchy, wool picnic blanket. 

"Stop," Marjorie giggled as Evan kissed her softly. Evan obediently stopped, looking at
her expectantly. A smile played at his lips. Marjorie gazed into Evan's eyes lovingly,
staring at the boy she loved with all her heart. The two had known each other since they
were babies, and were best friends. It wasn't until high school that they decided to date.
Luckily for them, it worked out between them, and even had the chance to go to college
together. They were still together after three and a half years.

Evan rolled over onto his back, laying next to Marjorie. Their hands entwined, the couple
talked about everything that was going on in their lives. Marjorie complained about her
honors classes that had so much homework, most nights she was up until 3 am studying. Evan
described funny encounters with him roommate's many girlfriends. They argued, laughed,
disagreed, and just talked about nothing in particular.

When Marjorie's stomach rumbled, they knew it was time to eat. "Mmm," Marjorie said,
contently chewing her sandwich. "You make the absolutely best turkey sandwiches." 

"Yeah, I know," Evan replied with fake cockiness, flipping his hair out of his eyes. "Hey,
do you want those chips?" Without waiting for an answer, he reached over and grabbed a
handful of sour cream and onion chips. He glanced at Marjorie, who was looking at her
phone. He waved his hand in front over her face. "I'm kidnapping your food, Marj. Be
jealous. Or kill me. Respond, please."

Marjorie looked up at him and held out her phone, which turned out to actually be Evan's
phone. "Who's this?" she asked casually, though anyone listening hard enough could tell
she was trying not to get worked up.

Evan leaned over and looked at the screen. On it, at the top, was the name "Isabelle" and
underneath it, the words "2 New Text Messages". "Oh, that's Iz..er, I mean, Isabelle," he

Marjorie decided to not acknowledge the fact that he gave this girl a nickname, then tried
to hide it. "Why'd she said you TWO texts? Geez, pushy much?" 

Evan grabbed the phone-a little too quickly-and looked at them. "She just had a question
about our assignment for biology. She's in my biology class. That's how I know her. That's

Marjorie bit her lip and looked away. "'Kay." She knew she shouldn't be jealous or
worried; Evan was a faithful boyfriend. Well, except for that one time years ago....


They had only been dating for four months, in their junior year of high school. Nothing
had gotten too serious yet. Marjorie had been having a terrible day-she was late to
school, failed two quizzes, and got into an argument with her little brother that
escalated into a one week grounding for both of them-and really needed Evan to cheer her
up. She drove over to his house, which was only a few minutes away, hoping he would be
home. She walked into his room and there he was, sitting on his bed, kissing Alexa
Simmons. Marjorie hadn't even realized she gasped until Evan and Alexa stopped and stared
at her, both looking surprised. 

"Marj! Oh god. Marjorie, it's not-wait, please-listen, you gotta, you just gotta...."
Marjorie was already down the stairs by the time Evan caught up to her. He grabbed her arm
and turned to face her. "Listen to me" he said fiercely. "Alexa kissed me right before you
walked in. It literally only lasted for two seconds. I'm shocked myself. You have to trust
me, I wouldn't lie to you!"

"Then why was she at your house?" snapped Marjorie.

Evan hung his head. "It's my fault. She's my science lab partner, and we had this project
to work on that we waited to long to start. She had to come over here so we could work on
it....she was supposed to leave a half hour ago but I was having fun just hanging with
her, I told her to stay. I didn't see the signs, I didn't realize she liked me that
way...If I hadn't made her stay she wouldn't have been compelled to, to...you know...kiss
me...God, I'm sorry Marjorie, please believe me."

Marjorie was silent. Suddenly, Alexa ran downstairs. She was crying."Marjorie, it's my
fault. I'm sorry, I feel so stupid, it's all my fault. I just couldn't help myself, I've
liked Evan for so long, I just wanted....just wanted a chance...I wasn't thinking." her
voice trailed off as she looked at Marjorie, her eyes begging for forgiveness.

Marjorie had  forgiven both Evan and Alexa. She knew that Evan would never
purposely hurt her. But she wasn't stupid. Evan was a good-looking guy, always had girls
falling all over him, which made Marjorie nervous. She was always so scared that someday,
he'd be with a girl, get caught up in the moment, and....


She shook her head. No, she couldn't think like that. Marjorie pushed the horrible memory
of watching her boyfriend kiss another girl out of her head. She reached for Evan's hand.
"Okay," she repeated, smiling. "No worries."

Evan grinned, clearly relieved. He playfully twirled a strand of Marjorie's hair around
his finger. Then he leaned forward, and ran his hand through her dark brown hair. Marjorie
put her arms around his neck, and Evan put his free hand on her waist. "I love you," she
murmured. "Me too," Evan whispered back. He ever so slowly close the gap between them, and
gently pressed his lips against her glossed ones. Marjorie fiercely kissed him back. Evan
pushed her over again, and layed on top of her. But as they made out on their picnic
blanket, Marjorie couldn't help but feel that Evan was only kissing her this way to prove
to her, or cover up, being involved with another girl. 

To Be Continued

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