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Title: The Way The Cookie Crumbles

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17 July 2010, 04:10 PM   #1
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Last edited by ‹∞ Directioner ∞›, 19 July 2010
Well, I like to start new stories when I have writer's block.


Anyways, this is more of a dream, but I am starting to make up half it it. Since the dream
really only showed like one part. Its only the first paragraph for now. Tell me what you
think of it!

	“There’s no softball team here,” said my mom. I almost fell over. Instead I
screamed, I hate it here. Then I ran upstairs into my new room and slammed the door behind
me. What kind of city doesn’t have a softball team? My life is crumbling some more. My
life used to be like a cookie. It was all perfect, just the right amount of chocolate
chips, all round, and tasted just right. Then when you take a bite, it isn’t so perfect
anymore. That’s how my life is. You get down to the last bite, thinking that everything
will be better, but its not. Then all of a sudden the cookie is gone and your perfect life
is, too.

17 July 2010, 04:29 PM   #2
The Founder
Joined: 1 Apr 2009
Posts: 350
I like how you described life as a cookie, but it made me hungry for one now. :P
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17 July 2010, 04:34 PM   #3
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669

Thanks, it actually just popped it on my head. That and I have been craving cookies, too.


19 July 2010, 03:51 PM   #4
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
In a way, my stories, too are like a cookie. They start of real strong, but they get
weaker towards the end. It really bothers me.

Anyways, here is the next paragraph. Its a really strong paragraph. Its almost as strong
as my first paragraph. Tell me what you think!

	Crash! Just one little sound and before you know it, your life is ruined. I knew right
away that my dad just crashed in another car. My head hit the seat in front of me and then
I hit it again in the back. Yet, my arm was bleeding. The glass from the door had hit my
arm. I looked at my dad and mom. They were both down for the count. I was digging around
for my purse. I found it and reached inside for my cell phone. I barely got the number 911
on it before my hands started shaking. I told the lady on the other side all what
happened. I tried to stay clam, but I already started crying. Finally, the ambulance was
here. I said a sloppy thank you to the lady and hung up. My mom and dad were taken in an
ambulance while I was sitting on one. They were rushed to the hospital. The guy said I was
very lucky to only have a few minor cuts on my one arm. I looked back at the car. Our car
was banged up really bad on both sides. How did that happen? There were two cars, one on
both sides. How can a really fun day turn into such a mess? Later that night I found out
that my mom would be okay, but my dad died. I cried my eyes out. Yet, it was a sad day for
every family. Both of the drivers in the other car died. They were the only ones in the
car, too.
	That day was the first bite out of the cookie.

19 July 2010, 03:54 PM   #5
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Oh, and I was also thinking that the title of this book could be:

*Drum roll*

The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Tell me what you think!!!

19 July 2010, 08:15 PM   #6
Guest Poster
I like the title.
It's so sad about her dad.
in my story the dad is presumed dead,but there aren't any records of his actuall death.

19 July 2010, 08:25 PM   #7
Joined: 14 Mar 2010
Posts: 155
Intresting fact.

onomatopoeia is the word  that represents, Crash or boom or bang. It represents sounds.
Haha, it just popped into my mind whenever I read,  ' Crash'. Your stories great so far,
and I loved the new title!

19 July 2010, 08:38 PM   #8
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669

Thanks. I always hate trying to figure out the title.



Haha...I love how that word sounds.

Thanks and thanks some more.


19 July 2010, 08:42 PM   #9
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Well, I already edited the first paragraph of it. I added a few little lines. I love how
you don't know the girl's name yet.


I planned to keep that way for a while, because I couldn't figure out a name. I think I
have the perfect name for her, too.

Anyways, here is the next little scene in the story.

	A few days later, I sat down with some policemen. They wanted to ask me questions on
what happened that day, the day my dad died. My eyes were still red and I looked like
crap. For the past couple of days I cried myself to sleep. I took a shower, but cried
during it. My hair was just knots all over the place. I haven’t really given it a good
brushing since the day of the accident. I barely touched my make up. I usually put very
little on, but still it made my face brighten up and give me a little color. Yet, my mom
looked worse; she hasn’t showered since the morning of the crash. Plus, she cried all
day long. She wouldn’t let anyone in her room. Actually, this was the first day she came
out of her room. That is after I begged her, to answer the phone, because the police
wanted to talk to her. I sat there for a while just staring at the wall. Finally, I
started. I didn’t mean to.
	“That morning I was getting ready to go to my aunt’s house. She was having a party,
because she got a really good job. Her house was five hours away,” I said. The policemen
looked at me. They were just staring at me. I told them the story of the party. How I
mostly was just in the basement playing with the other kids. Then we went to the park to
play some baseball. Then I told him I was sitting there laughing with my mom and dad and
then crash! The policemen mumbled a thank you. They didn’t tell me anything. I got up
and waited for my mom. She was crying in the room. I still had tears in my eyes, but I
wiped them away. Finally, my mom came out. She looked angry this time.
	“That’s impossible! He wasn’t drinking at the party!” yelled my mom. Then she
stormed out of there. I followed her slowly. Finally, we got in a new car and my mom
started it up. She turned to me and looked at me in the eye. “We are moving.” That day
I nodded my head, thinking she wasn’t serious.

20 July 2010, 12:30 PM   #10
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
I don't know...I wrote some more of it, but I feel like I am moving this wayyy too fast.

But anyways, here is the next scene. Please, comment. 

	A couple days later we were packing boxes and we were moving to Ohio. I said good bye
to my friends. They cried and I cried. Finally, we got in the car and headed out towards
Ohio. I was leaving behind my straight A’s private school to go to a public school. I
was leaving behind my old softball team, thinking I could snag myself a spot on the team
in Ohio. I was leaving behind my friends. I was even leaving behind my first boyfriend. I
told him I didn’t even want to try long distance. He got really upset. Finally, I was
leaving behind the house that I lived in since I was a baby. It was the house I always
dreamed of living in. Now I was moving at the beginning of summer. The worst time to move,
because you have to spend summer by yourself.
	That was the second bit out of the cookie.

22 July 2010, 11:00 PM   #11
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
The thing is that I am a lot farther than I am posting it. I just don't know why I am
posting it all and seeing what people think of it.

I decided to take it slow this time...I guess.

I don't know why I am doing it this way. Anyways, tell me what you think!

	On the way towards Ohio, my mom and I had a lot of time to talk about things. She
finally told me that at the party she was cheating on my dad. She also didn’t really
watched him on how much he was drinking, because she was busy having sex with some family
friend. Finally, she told me that my dad was drunk, and he went when the light was red,
and two cars hit him. I still didn’t think that was possible. I didn’t think any of it
was possible, actually. I thought my parents loved each other. I thought they were perfect
for each other, too.
	That long car ride was the third bite out of the cookie. Now, you are probably wondering
how big this cookie is. The answer I can give you right now is that you will see soon

Oh, other known as comment please!

26 July 2010, 06:25 PM   #12
Guest Poster
That's soooo Creepy. This story is MY life Story. My Dad is alive(but he got laid off)
and my parents love each other very much,but I, like the girl(I assume she's a girl) Left
my straight A school(public,but newly built) all my friends,and the house I lived in since
I was a baby,to move to a new state, Suckey California. The best place to vacation and the
worst place live. I Moved in October,So I had to finish elementry in a sukey school where
people make out in the bathroom,and i am currently spending the summer alone(besides mom n
dad and the family)
Anyways, Can't wait for more!

26 July 2010, 06:36 PM   #13
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
That is pretty creepy. Anyways, I hope your life gets better.

Oh, and yeah it is a girl.

26 July 2010, 06:38 PM   #14
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
I decided to post the next part in the story.

I have written most of the story, but I haven't typed it yet. I decided to go with the
writing thing again. I have no idea why though.

Anyways, comment and enjoy.

	Now here I was in my new room. I jumped on my bed and laid there for a while. My mom
came up and knocked on my door to tell me dinner was ready. After we finished unpacking,
which took us three days, my mom decided to ask a few people around if there was a
softball team for my age. My mom asked a ton of people in the neighborhood. My mom found
out that there was only a baseball team. Figures. 
	The fourth, or the last, bite of the cookie was that there was no softball team.
	My life was ruined. My mom yelled at me to come down. I got off my bed. It’s time for
not feeling sorry for me. Then I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing my softball
shirt that the team decorated for me, because I was leaving them. I groaned. I went down
the stairs. My mom handed me the leash to the dog and walked away. I knew I missed dinner
and my mom always feed the dog while I walked the dog. I looked down at my brown German
Shepard whose name was Zena. I groaned again. Then I grabbed a plastic bag that was on the
ground and headed out the door. Left or right…left or right...I decided to go left,
since this morning I went right. I shouldn’t went right again, because I knew where I
was going and my dog wouldn’t take so long to sniff one little spot. I dragged her a
little here and there. Finally, I crossed a street and came to a park. Since when was this
here? Oh, this must be the park my mom was telling me when we moved here. I looked around
and shrugged. I should just check out the park, while I am here. I dragged Zena and she
followed me. I stopped on the path when I saw a diamond. A baseball diamond that is. Boys
my age was practicing. The couch was telling them to get the ball and throw to first. The
most basic drill that every team starts off with. 
	I kept walking down the path. I was right by first base, behind the fence of course. When
the couch yelled heads-up. I turned around and the saw the baseball went over the fence.
Life was like in slow monition right now. Then I saw it was coming right at me. It
wasn’t thrown as hard as it could have been. I decided to catch it. Yeah, you can say I
was craving to do something related to softball. I stuck up my hand, the one that wasn’t
holding the leash and caught the ball. I never caught a softball with one hand; it was
always too big for my hands. All the guys starred at me. Finally, the couch spook up.
	“Can you throw the ball back to us?” asked the couch. I looked totally stupid right
then. The first baseman held up his mitt. I threw the ball over the fence and right at his
mitt. I turned to leave, but the couch started talking to me. “Young lady…how old are
	“Sixteen…why?” I asked. The couch nodded.
	“Name?” asked the couch. Why is the couch asking me questions, but not answering
	“Chloe,” I said. I didn’t want to tell him my last name was, Hixson. You know a
girl can never be too safe. The couch got off the field this time and walked toward me. He
stood a few inches taller than me. I was always one of the taller girls.
	“Call me Couch Ryan. You are totally joining the baseball team,” he said.
	“What?” I said automatically. Just then the boys decided to come around. Couch Ryan
didn’t notice though.
	“One of you boys explain to Chloe why we need an extra player,” he said. Hm…maybe
he did notice.
	“Our third baseman dropped out. He said it was school related, but we all know that he
really went to the other team. The team that is supposedly better than us,” said one of
the boys. They needed a third baseman? Well, why didn’t you say so?!
	“So you need a third baseman,” I said. The coach nodded. Hm…that is the position I
played at. Yet, baseball is very different than softball. Just then I guess one of the
guys looked down on my shirt.
	“Forget, dad, she plays softball not baseball,” said one of the boys. I guess the
couch’s son. Just then I hated myself for wearing this shirt. The couch finally looked
at my shirt and sighed.
	“Another good player put to waste,” he said while turning around.
	“Wait!” I said. “I used to play softball. I moved here, forcing me to drop the
team. I do know a lot about baseball though. Just teach me the difference between the two,
and you are looking at your new third baseman.” I have no idea where it all just came
from. It just came out of my mouth. The couch turned to look at me and then he nodded.
	“Be here tomorrow at one. We’ll practice until four. Better bring a mitt, a bat, and
a helmet,” he said. All of that was done. I nodded. “We look forward to seeing you.”
Then they are turned and went back to practice. I finally, finished walking the dog. My
mom was surprised I took that long of a walk. I just shrugged. I dug in the fridge for
some dinner and finally settled in for a peanut better sandwich. Then I went upstairs and
went to bed.

26 July 2010, 06:56 PM    #15
Guest Poster
Oh good,She finally found a baseball game.
Thanks,my life might get better if i can go to the middle school I'm trying to get in to.

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