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In love with the goth guy

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12 November 2009, 07:35 PM   #1
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Mari looked around walking in the school.  She didn't really think she ahd much to do.
SHe looked unsure of where her next class is.  No one was going to help her, but she never
asked.  Mari saw a gothic guy just standing near the wall.  He was jsut staring at
confused Mari.  Mari sensed that they were the only onew at the hall.  Mari gazed at the
goth guy's eyes.
           "Um-do you know where Tech Lab C is?" Mari asked.
The goth guy said nothing.He just stared at her.  Mari panicked looking at him.
            "I'm Josh,"The goth guy said.
He walked away from Mari.  Determined, Mari followed Josh.  Josh didn't notice Mari was
following him, but he still walked.  He walked at a dark corner with other different goth
groups.  Mari looked as the groups were just hanging out.  She felt stupid following.  She
took tiny peeks and glances, but she still didn't just stay directly in the group. 
Sighing already Mari left gullible.
             "I can't believe i missed a bell..."Mari thought.
             " Did you follow me?"Josh asked.
Mari nervously glanced at Josh's slim figure.
             "You freaked me out!" Mari said.
             "Did you?"Josh asked again with mad in his tone.
             "Kinda,"Mari replied slowly.
             " Yes or No," He said.
             "YES!"Mari yelled."I did!"
             "Why?"Josh asked again.
Mari lookeed around like trying to find reasons in the sky.
             " Okay,"Mari finally said."Because I thought you would bring me to Tech Lab
Embarrassed and discovered Mari lied for just a little.
             "What's your name?"He asked.
             "Um-Mari.." Mari answered.
             "Nice," Josh said.
Josh looks at Mari again.
            " I think you look better in black," Josh demanded.
            "What?!"Mari yelled."But im not-"
            "Goth," Josh finished Mari's sentence.
Mari blushed and felt her heart race.
            "No!"Mari yelled.
Josh looked again.
            " Why do you keep looking at me!?"Mari yelled.
            " I think your image looks cold and beautiful,"Josh said.
Mari felt her heart race again.She felt speachless, but she felt like she feels night
around Josh's atmosphere.
            "I think i got to go..." Mari said." Nice meeting you.They left each other
with a couple of glances to each other.
Oh srry i haven't made some stories so i made this one thanx of you comment >u< next time

14 November 2009, 11:29 AM   #2
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
I am a little confused.

It is good up until:
" Did you follow me?"Josh asked.
I mean when and where are they talking? I get that Mari is at school, and she is trying to find her class. But does Josh start talking to her right then or a different time? Oh, and if Igot confused with this I am pretty sure other people would too, so maybe you want to add something that would work.

14 November 2009, 12:10 PM   #3
Guest Poster
oh oops i just made it while i was kinda half was tired a bit so it maybe

23 December 2009, 10:09 AM   #4
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I agree with lacy13 it does get a little confusing but from what I read it's a good

23 December 2009, 10:37 AM   #5
Guest Poster
I agree with both of them. It's pretty good, but it does get a little confusing at some
points. Of course, you did say that you were half asleep.... I think that it will be a
very good story. It just needs to stay clean.

23 December 2009, 09:12 PM   #6
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I made part two in my notebook but it kinda sucked since Josh acts too a
guy thats quiet but he thinks about Mari like  luver(i was expecting MAri would say i luv
u Josh! but nah...i was in gazed...)

23 December 2009, 09:14 PM   #7
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 32

24 December 2009, 03:50 PM   #8
Guest Poster
wat me?!

24 December 2009, 04:37 PM   #9
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Don't listen to her. All she does is yell at people and complain.

24 December 2009, 07:26 PM   #10
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 32

25 December 2009, 12:48 PM   #11
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thanx lucy ur nice!

oh and cat magic i never saw how mean u were until now i cant believe i was friends with u
how bout u go die urself oh and get out of my topic

25 December 2009, 04:09 PM   #12
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Kittysnow: No, thank you! :D Thank god she got kicked out or quit. I couldn't stand her.

25 December 2009, 04:14 PM   #13
Guest Poster
srry i didnt read ur reply about  the dont listen to her thingy srry lol well ya im
taking her off my friends list cuz she was like nice but now shes a jerk?wats up with

25 December 2009, 05:35 PM   #14
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
I have no idea why she changed like that.

31 January 2010, 01:46 AM    #15
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 32
Sorry and I am not a jerk.

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