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WRITING: Challenge-Exercise: Paperclip

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16 April 2010, 05:57 PM   #1
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
This is a Challenge - Exercise or Club Members, open to Club Members only. Prizes are: 1st Place: 30 kp 2nd Place: 20 kps 3rd Place: 10 kps The Challenge: On any given box of paperclips you will find all sorts of product information. What you will never find are instructions on how to use them. In this challenge, you must write out a set of instructions on how to use a paperclip. The goal of this challenge is to write out the most complete set of instructions in as few words as possible - since it should in theory be on the bottom or side of the box. Do NOT Post Your Entry here Others could improve on your directions and win. Message me your entry by next Thursday. I will keep them in a private diary until time to post them all and reveal who I select as the winners that have best met the challenge. Good luck and have fun.

26 April 2010, 12:26 AM   #2
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
come on yall i didnt get a single entry.

surely you can try and write some directions of how to use a paperclip?

26 April 2010, 08:56 PM   #3
Guest Poster
This is difficult lol. There are more than one uses for a paper clip XP

26 April 2010, 09:02 PM   #4
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
the normal use of bundling papers together

26 April 2010, 11:14 PM   #5
Guest Poster
hem holder
cigar filter unstopper
spray bottle unclogger
eye glass repair
hair barrette
zipper tab
clean fingernails
Xmas ornament holder
unclog Elmer's glue bottle
calendar holder
belt holder
emergency cotter pin
emergency diaper pin (boy! do I date myself there!)
unclog baby bottle nipples (man! I was sure careful to put all the modifiers in there)
strawberry huller
cherry pit remover
hymn marker (for organists)
a substitute for the thingy that holds the scotch tape in a tape dispenser
substitute for a twist-tie to close a plastic bag
poke snoozing parishioners
clean the little roller thingies in your mouse
a pastor's helper to assist in making sure he turns the right number of pages in the altar
book while conducting the Communion liturgy
substitute toothpick and/or hard floss
clean the shaft on your mechanical pencil
toenail cleaner
emergency Tie Tack (large ones only)
inexpensive ear (or body?)-piercing tool
inexpensive ear (or nose?)ring
when combined with a rubber band, can be used to earn a three-day vacation" from eighth
sparkly and useful alternative to throwing rice at weddings
Lilliputian water divining rod
holding dangles on a pierced ear
cone incense holder/stand
reset a Palm Pilot or Handspring Visor
eject a powered-off LS-120 drive
eject a powered-off Zip drive
eject a powered-off CD-ROM, CD-R, CD-RW, or DVD drive
actor for Micro$oft Office "help" system
snow shoes for mice, birds, and other small creatures
booger hunting device
arrange clips to spell "TIP?" and leave in lieu of cash when service stinks in a
similarly, spell "happy birthday" on a cake for the office workaholic
clip all these suggestions together, wrap, and send as a gifts to your cheap, I mean
frugal, friends and relations
emergency corkscrew
pubic hair for Bionic Woman
splint for minor injuries of fingers & toes
makeshift antenna for small electronics
miniature slingshot
miniature catapult
when a fellow smashes his thumb in a range gate, and the blood begins pressuring under the
thumbnail, the doctor takes a paper clip, straightens it, heats its tip up good and proper
at a bunson burner, and plunges the thing through the thumbnail to make a hole to relieve
the pressure.
construction of drinking straw buildings (slide clip in end and link together)
nose weight for paper airplanes
central weight (several together) for a Come-back-can powered by rubber bands
substitute playing pieces for game (bend small part up to grasp)
card holder when strung along string or wire
necklace/bracelet (children love stringing them)
emergency key chain
emergency key to bathroom knobs (the ones that have the hole in the middle to slip a long
skinny thing in and pop them open)
quick find tabs for favorite recipes
hold papers together (too obvious?)
book mark
pry bar
lottery ticket scratcher
pipe cleaner
necklace clasp
chain link
fuse replacement
punch a pilot hole
clean the head on an acetylene torch
Pirate" earring (old haunted house trick)
hold the collar of your clerical together beneath the tab
hold up the exhaust system under the car
lock the door to the bird cage, hamster cage, etc.
let the air out of your tire when you over-fill it
let the air out of someone else's tires when he parks across multiple spaces
emergency fish hook
hold temple to glasses when screw is lost
grind one end to point; use for home tattooing
desk-top sculpture kit for when your computer solitaire game is down
castration rings for small animals
construct see-through dress for next year's Oscars®
clean narrow grout
wrap with copper wire, connect to battery, and use to hold papers on refrigerator
put a couple hands-full in your pockets and have fun with the airport metal detectors
pop zits
rub some on a bar magnet, then set on hostile co-worker's desk near floppy disks and hope
for the best (or worst)
connect three straight chains to a chain loop and make a hanger for flower pots
branding irons for miniature cattle
fashion a summer-weight chastity belt
cut in short lengths and use as spikes in your model railroading
hold the cavity closed while baking your Thanksgiving turkey
bend open and use as fangs to attract the attention of Buffy the Vampire Slayer
straighten and use as ramrod in very small bore muzzle-loading weapon
decorate the office Christmas tree
take a box in the forest and drop them every so often so you can find your way home from
the Gingerbread House
take a box to the beach and scatter about to drive the guy with the metal detector nuts
use to punch holes in cheap white cheese you're bringing to a snooty party
drop a couple dozen in an empty soda can and shake it to cheer the home team
stretch chains across a fire to construct a barbecue grill
stick in the door lock and break off to get some peace in the bathroom
make a crude tuning fork for your already out-of-pitch barbershop quartet

construct a playground for ants
skewers for very tiny shish-ke-bobs
with tissue paper, construct a teeny-tiny kazoo
use as frame in constructing life-size papier machè statue of Martha Stewart
bend in a "U", carefully insert bare ends in an electrical outlet at the office early on a
Friday afternoon in hopes that departmental blackout will result in an early weekend
craft a veil for the bride who left it at her mother's house and realized it ten minutes
before the wedding was to begin
fashion emergency wedding rings to replace those lost by the drunken best man
use chains to connect tin cans to the newlyweds' car
use to hang bells from the newlyweds' bed
make tongs to remove veggies you don't like from the soup
tool to flick crumbs out of keyboard
clean gunk from rings
money clip
separate eyelashes
make paint dots
decorating sugar cookies
unclog the salt shaker/parmesian shaker holes
picture hanger
wire tightener
clean tiny holes anywhere
stiffen wicks (oil candles)
clean pencil sharpeners
reset electronic devices
badge holder (clip to collar or button)
hold tea bags in pitcher when making iced tea
candy thermometer holder
roach (hand-rolled) holder
roach (six-legged) stabber
bend into heart shape and give to your Valentine
chad puncher for Florida presidential ballots
use as a launching pad for match rockets
mix up the food scum in the sink drain so water can empty out
bend it into a "jumping paper clip", a fun toy for young'ns
apply touch-up paint to a car
sabotage your friend's drink in a Styrofoam cup (remember: hot drinks have more impact
than do cold)
put tissue on end, use to clean cassette tape heads
temporarily fix a bra strap
miniature clothes hanger for a doll's house
blackpowder musket nipple cleaner
etching tool
blowgun dart
chainmail for suit of armor
lightning rod for elves
lock picking tool

27 April 2010, 01:23 PM   #6
Guest Poster
the uses for a paper clip, as defined by the company, is that you use it to hold papers
together by stacking the sheets and to slightly bend it and slide it on.  the uses,
defined by us, are unlimited.

31 May 2010, 12:46 AM    #7
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
ok so these have been the only two entries so far, really. I think that Ashley's
(tearsfall)'s entry is the closest thing but i cant imagine it being on the box of paper
clips wiht so many steps and all...and the first 4 steps are sort of unnecessary as the
person is already holding and ready to use them presumably.

any one else wanna give it a try? otherwise i will gift some kps to ashley and josh

here goes paperclip entries

tearsfall entry:
Step one- you must first purchase the box of paper clips.
Step two- take them to the area they are to be used in (E.g. a home, an office,
Step three-open the box of paper clips
Step four- take out the desired number of paper clips
Step five- make sure your papers are neatly aligned.
Step six- take the smaller rounded end of the paper clip and gently bend it back
Step seven-slide the paper clip down over the papers so that they sit between the
smaller  curved end and the larger curved end. You have successfully used a paper

*Note: paper clips may have other uses as well as the one suggested above*

Sage Josh:


the uses for a paper clip, as defined by the company, is that you use it to hold
together by stacking the sheets and to slightly bend it and slide it on.  the uses,
defined by us, are unlimited.

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