Title: None yet, but let's call it Vampires for now. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 


Title: None yet, but let's call it Vampires for now.

* guest posting enabled *

23 December 2009, 01:07 PM   #1
Joined: 23 Dec 2009
Posts: 5
Last edited by ‹♥|I'm Vulnerable|♥›, 23 December 2009
Erm, this is my first story I'm writing here, and I've actually been writing it for a
while now, so yeah.. And the characters are old ones, except for Adrian, Xavier, Vincent,
and Devin, and Sameka's friends. So yeah.. I want good criticism and stuff okay? Yeah so,
I write Rated R stories a lot. XD;; So explicit language and stuff ya know. But it's not
that far into the story, so yeah.

Chapter 1
Normal Day, No Big Deal… Right?

	Hey, let me introduce myself first, name’s Ayumi. Yeah, don’t make fun of it,
‘cause I bite. Literally. I am 16, my best friend, the age of 17, she’s a Senior, her
name is Sameka. We’re like sisters, I mean, we live together for peat’s sake. I could
tell you why I bite, but that would ruin the story, now wouldn’t it? Well let’s start
of with today at high school shall we?
     Day 1, First day of Junior year.
	I walked, and walked, with my green eyed friend walking next to me. Today was the first
day of school, the first day of Junior year. My black long-haired friend, Sameka, is in
Senior year now. We arrived at our school several moments later, with some cars parked in
the parking lot, and some students have walked, like Sameka and I. Although, Sameka and I
could not afford cars and such, we had to pay rent, and also strive to survive. Not
really, “strive” but it’s sort of like a survival reality show, you know what I
mean? Where those people are trapped on the island, and they have to win with their
survival skills- You know what? Never mind. Anyway, we had walked inside, barely.
Everything’s so hectic on the first day, so it’s hard to make your way through the
crowd. My locker number, 145, the other end of the school, Sameka’s was 100, near the
middle of the school. 
	We walked together down the hall, silently. It seems like my green eyed friend and I,
have lost some relation in our friendship, since we had to work and all. Either one of us
broke the silence, but at home we said a few words. A few.. Is all, then it turns to
none.. And such. I sighed, Sameka had parted to her locker, while I kept walking, and
turned to the right- BAM! I had fallen on the floor, my head pounding. But, a hand in
front of me, and a sort of low, even voice, filled with concern, saying, “Oh geez! Sorry
‘bout that!” I had looked up, seeing Violet-blue eyes, and dirty blonde hair.. He was
a new kid, for sure. I took his hand, and replied to the boy, “It’s fine, really.”
But, as soon as I finished, he had left. I raised an eyebrow. Wow.. Strange..
Person. I thought, and I’m still thinking its true. I just shrugged it off, and went
to my locker, I had used the combination they told me, but it wouldn’t open. 
	Several minutes later of trying to open the locker…
“You stupid piece of, fucki-” I had gotten interrupted, out of my cursing mode.
“Hey, need help there?” I had heard that voice before! No, no it was not the dirty
blonde, new person. It was one of my other friends, Adrian! I had quickly turned around,
facing him. “Yes, I do actually, and at the right time!” I said relieved. Adrian had
chuckled, he had brunette colored hair, bright-jade green eyes, that always caught my
attention. “Ok, lets see here…” I moved out of Adrian’s way as he did his
‘magic’ work to open my locker. Of course, it opened for him. “What the fuck,
dude?!” I said. “I’m just a locker master.” Adrian chuckled some more.
“Right….” I said rolling my eyes. “What? You know it’s true, Yumi!” Wow, he
used my old middle-school nickname, “Yeah, yeah.” I said making a fake annoyed face. 
	First Period, English.
My first period was of course, English, that subject I was horrible at. And I mean,
horrible. Adrian, was luckily in my class, and he was an expert at English, thank you god.
He had saved a seat for me, right next to his, I gladly went and sat in the abandoned
chair. Also, of course, their were people I hate in this school, it wouldn’t be a good
story if I didn’t hate anyone, after all. They were, the preps. God, I hate the preps.
The most annoying, and dumbest one is, Stacey fucking, Ramona. She thinks she’s so
smart, and this so called word, “pretty.” No one’s pretty, their only beautiful.
Well to me anyway. But, Stacey isn’t beautiful of course. But, not only does she think
that, she also hates my guts. She’s been my arch enemy since 4th grade, I’d say
that’s a long time. Stacey, also happened to be in my English class, what a shame… For
her. Because, this time, I am not losing to her. I’ll torture her until the end of high
school, if that’s all it takes. The teacher took roll call, and all. We had our first
assignment, writing a Summer Essay. All that crap like, “what did you do over summer,
explanation” and shit. I was always bad at essays, that’s when I turned to Adrian, so
dramatically. Adrian just laughed, at my “intense turn.” Then he automatically replied
with, “Yeah, yeah. I know, I’ll help you, after school, at your place right?” He had
asked, but it was strange, he always knew it was at Sameka’s and my place. I rolled my
eyes, “Yeah, duh.” I replied. “Ha-ha, ok.” Adrian said smirking. I sat “right”
in my chair rolling my eyes. “Dork…” I whispered.

23 December 2009, 02:34 PM   #2
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
I am sooo sorry to say this but I am tired of hearing vampires this and vampires that.
Yet, I like the plot to the story. Show not tell, is all I got to say.

23 December 2009, 03:46 PM   #3
Guest Poster
I agree. What with everything to do with twilight going on the vampire stories are
getting kind of old. I like the idea that your going with tho.  Can't wait to see what
happens between the characters

23 December 2009, 05:36 PM   #4
Joined: 23 Dec 2009
Posts: 5
I'm more into vampires and humans really. 
I wasn't trying to copy because of Twilight, I actually made this before I even knew about

Thanks though. :D

23 December 2009, 08:05 PM   #5
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
And I will say this your plot is better than Twilight. :D

23 December 2009, 10:10 PM    #6
Joined: 23 Dec 2009
Posts: 5
//moved up to the next level of writing.

Whooo. :3

No Privileges
You must be logged in to reply to this topic.
All times are GMT. The time now is 02:04 AM.

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012