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In The Forest of The Lost

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14 August 2010, 08:35 PM   #1
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Last edited by ‹☮SmileyPeanut☮›, 15 August 2010

                          "Come on, Penny," I said as my black great dane trailed behind
me. Jack had dropped me off almost five hours ago. All he said was that he'd be back in
half an hour and to have fun. I stopped to take a breath. On my left acres of trees,grass,
and wild flowers spread across the land. To my right a long stream ran as far as the eye
could see. Not a single human being other than myself in sight. I looked down at my hands.
They were blistered from holding the leash for such a long time. Then I looked to the sky
through the canopy of leaves above me. It was getting dark. It would be night soon. I
didn't have any food,shelter or form of communication. I was deep into the forest now. My
stomach growled like an outraged lion. My legs ached from the long walk. I'd given up
shouting for help hours ago. Penny was panting with a look of frustration and fear in her
dark brown eyes. My blue shorts and red jacket were filthy. My only hope now was to find a
way to survive until I was found, an event that I was sure wasn't coming any time soon.

Please comment!Tell me what I think! I'll start the first chapter soon!

14 August 2010, 11:29 PM   #2
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Its good so far. I like the idea. Can't wait for more.

I only found one mistake:

Black Great Dane, isn't capitalized. The reason is, because that's not the scientific name
for the dog.

15 August 2010, 05:56 PM   #3
Guest Poster

18 October 2010, 12:19 AM    #4
Guest Poster
Chapter 1:Food

         My entire body was numb, I couldn't go on. Finnally, I knelt down and washed my
face in the stream. The cool,freash water slipped through the creases in my cupped hands
as I drank. It ran down my throat. Penny was enjoying a dring too. It was the first time
i'd ever drank water from a stream. I filled my watter bottle with it, then I sat still,
thinking. I have to find food and shelter.I have to. If I don't I'll die. The sun was
setting, and It was getting cold. I shivered.This was supposed to be a fun walk through
the forest, and know, it was a life threatning situation.
                  I picked up my backpack and unzipped it. Inside I found a sweater,some
dog food,a flashlight,a pocket knife,, and "The Swiss Familly Robinson" I looked at the
book. I hadn't finished it yet,but the familly collected salt,moved into a cave, and built
huts for the winter. I looked at the trees. Perhaphs I could find a cave and gather some
food, then I could use branches from the trees to seal my cave.So, I got up,and went
                         I kept walking,and walking. There was no sight of food. 
                                   "Fish," I said to myself,looking into a lake I had
reached. I had no pole or line, but it was worth a try.
          Slowly, I watched the fish, I tried to catch one with my bare hands, but I
didn't touch it. The water was so cold, My hands were shaking. But then I had a better
idea. I pulled out my pocket knife, and when a fish swam by I stabbed the knife into the
water. I missed. Then, in a flash Penny dunked her head in the wated, catching the fish.
But she didn't eat it. She gave it to me. I held the fish,still wiggling in my hands it
was big enough for the both of us. 
       "Penny!" I said, hugging the sweet dog. "Oh, Penny,Thankyou! You gotta teach me how
to do that!"
                      I had to clean the fish, so I took off one of my socks and wiped the
fish with it, dunking it in water, then taking it out again. I wrapped it up int the
sweater, then I head out to find a cave.

Gotta go! Tell me what you think!

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