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(PLEASE REVIEW) Heroine


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23 April 2010, 09:11 PM   #1
Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Posts: 88

                                                                  Heroine
                                                                PROLOGUE
Faenara, or Fae, as she liked to be called, panted breathlessly. The Fire Talent class was
really exhausting. This really was her moment of truth; make it or break it, and she was
so close to being Top Student she could almost feel the Top Student shirt against her tan
skin. The transparent glittery pants (hers were crimson) which were part of every girl's
uniform at Zennor Academy blew back as she rushed, barefoot, at her opponent. Glaedmyra
was difficult, but Fae was confident enough to be able to defeat her. Summoning her
personal signature weopon which was issued to her by the teacher, she threateningly
wielded her charredchain, a shower of golden glitter emmenated from it's power, and
she slashed at Glaedmyra with the magical chain. Glaedmyra sent several blows in response
with her Flame-Blade, cutting Fae twice on her bare shoulders, carelessly
unprotected as she was wearing only the uniform's corset, having abandonned the shawls for
combat. Too full of adrenaline to cry or even wince, Fae gripped her charredchain
until the tips turned white-gold, more golden glitter flying from the ends. She quickly
leaped forward, giving Glaedmyra a final, disarming blow which knocked the girl
unconscious.


The roar of whoops and cheers from the students and teachers who had come to observe was
deafening, but a sweet smile replaced the evil expression that had occupied Fae's face
from earlier. Adjusting the golden cuffs on her wrists, she ran over to hug her best
friend, Ekiro. He laughed, wrapping his arms around her bare, tatooed shoulders as her
long, dark brown hair tickled his face. He brushed against her earrings, patting her back.

"Congrats, kid. Really, you've outdone yourself!"
Fae was so overwhelmed with his closeness that she didn't realize she had just made a
rival for life.

23 April 2010, 09:41 PM   #2
The Founder
Joined: 2 Apr 2009
Posts: 350
This is really good! I love it! You set good suspense too with the whole 'rival for life'
thing! WRITE MORE!
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23 April 2010, 11:08 PM   #3
Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Posts: 88
 Thanks so much!

24 April 2010, 06:06 AM   #4
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 29
That Was Pretty Good, It Caught My Eye =) Can't Wait To See What More You Can Do =D
*~M~*

Books:
Edogon
Don't Kill Alice (Alice Zacharra Series)
Green Leaf
Last Summer's Black Heart~
'Courtship Of The King's Daughters'
Adam & The Gone
Clock Strikes
Black Hole 
Deserted
Van Hellsin (Dimitri, Demon + Lianna Series)
Downhill Or Uphill From Here
Solitude
Hating On You
If I Go
Strangled Silence
Burning Sun
One Summer
Strike
Unrevealed
Black Hope
How Far Would You Go To Find Out? (Gender Bender)
Marked
Stone-Away

24 April 2010, 01:31 PM   #5
Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Posts: 88
Last edited by ‹❄Shexia: The Wintery Archer❄›, 24 April 2010

                                                                  Chapter One 

"I'm Azura DeLaine. P-please....be nice to me." 
Oh, crap! Azura thought desperately. Why did I say that? Stupid! STUPID!
Apparently, the class agreed with her, a collective snicker rising and falling throughout
the room. Fae, sitting in her usual corner seat, couldn't help but join in. What a mouse
this girl was, with her carroty-red straight hair that fell to her waist, and all over her
pimply, freckly face as well. Her green eyes better suited an Earth Talent. And the way
she dressed....! The class did not seem too taken with her uniform's glittery brown
pants, especially since the transparency revealed skin-tight knee-length brown
sweatpants. Or her black, long-sleeved turtleneck, complete with the required corset,
which was a laughable shade of grey. 


Fae, who, after becoming top-student, also became very popular, whispered something to
Ekiro, who chuckled. The two had discovered, in this past week, that they wanted to become
more than best friends. This was evident, as Ekiro had just pecked her lips while the
teacher told Azura the Mouse (a nickname Fae had just come up with) to go take a seat at
the front of the class. 

The course droned on for most, but Azura tried her best to focus on the course. This
proved futile; an image of herself, redfaced and stuttering, squeaking that hateful phrase
before the class kept appearing in her head. She was glad when the bell rang, indicating
the end of the period, and, for her class, the day. Rushing out with the rest of the
class, she kept walking, when she heard the pretty, dark-haired girl who sat in the corner
shout at her. 

"Hey, Mouse! Want some cheese?" Fae offered. Everyone burst out laughing. Azura shut her
eyes, blushing, and kept going. "Hey, the mousie is pretty cute!" Fae's brother, Den'res,
chimed in with a falsetto squeak, grabbing her bookbag off her back. Azura made a grab for
it, causing more laughter as she tumbled to the ground. Ekiro frowned in disapproval,
unnoticed by Fae and a few of her new-found friends, who threw around a red-faced Azura's
bag, finally emptying it on the ground, kicking around the books in the dirt. The majority
left, Fae beckoning at Ekiro to come. He pretended to, but hung back. 

Azura looked up with a tear-stained face at the handsome Asian boy in a tuxedo, scarf and
gloves who was kneeling down beside her, piling up her books. "Miss DeLaine, I am very
sorry that you were treated in such a way. I myself would have stopped them, had they not
been going so fast. No one at Zennor deserves that." He wrapped his arm around her. Azura
blushed again. "Th-thank you...and call me Azura, please." Ekiro smiled. "Very well,
Azura. I am Ekiro. Know that you have one good friend here." He helped her up, and left.

29 April 2010, 10:49 PM   #6
Joined: 25 Feb 2010
Posts: 88
 Should I continue?

30 April 2010, 02:54 AM   #7
The Founder
Joined: 2 Apr 2009
Posts: 350
YES! It's very good.
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1 May 2010, 09:54 PM   #8
Guest Poster
It's amazing! i love it!

2 May 2010, 01:36 AM    #9
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Very interesting.

Please, keep going with the story.



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