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WRITING: Creative Writing: Fragment in progress

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21 December 2009, 05:39 PM    #1
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Last edited by Oroborus21, 21 December 2009
Is this good? it's not poetry it's like a fragment of a story

The soft lull of music takes me back,
taking one step at a time, I slowly stroll up the stairs.
I am greeted by hair like lemons and eyes like the sky.
He doesn't even look up.
For I am not noticed in the world he as entered,
nobody can bring him back.
As he plays his fingers sow emotion as the hammer upon the keys,
and then his fingers gently tap the keys of the piano.
As I listen to him play I become at ease, for he play as if the music flies out of his

that's as far as i got please can you tell me if it's good or what it's flaws are?

(edited, the title to conform with our club's nomenclature)

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