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The House on the hill


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18 October 2010, 03:34 AM   #1
Guest Poster
Last edited by ‹☮SmileyPeanut☮›, 27 October 2010
I know i've abandoned my old story,I might finish it when i have more time or I don't
have so much on mind.
Well,this is a story for english:              
The House On the Hill  
by Ellen Thompson
 



                     



	A freash,maple scent hung in the air.Lushious trees shaded the aged house surrounded by
fruits,flowers,herbs, and everything else you could imagine. Mr Blaine,The elderly man
that lived in the house was struggling down the stairs when he dissapeared forever." 
		"Really?" I asked. 
	"Yep,my big sister Janet said. "No one knows what happened to the old man,all that's left
of him is the old house on the hill. 
	"That old thing?" I asked. I couldn't possibly see that ugly old house as a beautifull
home surrounded by freash gardens.It was so old and terrible,some people even said it was
haunted. 
	"So you wanna come to the party over there with me tonight?You can bring your friends
along," Janet said. Janet had such nice wavy,black hair. She was tall and slender,and for
the most part,she had a whole lot of courage.I was just a small, wirey girl with
thin,faded brown hair. 
	"Okay," I sighed. 

		I looked up at the tall,aged house. The trees were dark and bare,full of thin crows
cawing loudly, nested in the twisted branches. The shingles looked has if they were
falling off one by one ever so slowly. The windows were all boarded up, except for the
front two, which had long, thin crakes in them,thier broken shutters hanging loosley and
rattling. Cobwebs and spiderwebs covered its faded walls. Thick weeds and moss climed the
terrifying structure. A sharp breeze tore by as the moon rose behined the dark, crooked
house. There were already sevral people inside the house, laughing and messing around,
having a grand old time.But something just didn't feel right. It was if, as if we were
being watched .
	"Well,what are you waiting for?" Janet yelled from the doorway. Slowly, My friends
Jack,Tiffiny, and I walked up to the house and stepped inside.The three of us all lived on
the same street, went to the same school, and had been friends longer than I could
remember. It was dirty and dusty inside, the lights were dim and there were sevral leaks
in the roof. Besides all the people,there wasn't a thing in the house. All I could see was
a closet and a tall stairway that seemed to lead to a long hallway.It was just so bare,so
desolate 
	"Well,have fun!" Janet said cheerfully. "Margot! Wait up!" she said,hustling to her
friend.
	 "So now what are we supposed to do?" Tiffany asked.
	 "I guess we can just mill around, try to blend in," Jack said. 
	The air was filled with voices.Everyone was doing thier own thing as my friends and I
wandered around. Suddenly,I heard footsteps behined me. I swiftly spun around. 
	"What're you guys up to?" A boy asked. He was older than me, about Janet's age. 
	"Nothin',"Jack replied. 
	"Have you guys seen the basement yet?"The boy asked. 			
	"No,Tiffany said shyly. 
"Well I'll take you guys down there," he said. 
	"Okay," We said in unisense. 
	The boy walked to the closet and opened it. It too was empty except a small spider in the
corner. He opened a trap door in the floor and put it to the side. "After you," he said.
We climed down, and as soon as Tiffany was in,he dropped the door on us! 
	"SEE YA LATER!" He cackled histerrically. 
	We were in complete darkness. Who knew what creepy crawlies lurked in the depths of this
old basement. What kind of treasures and contraptions could be down here?
Suddenly,Tiffinay had a panic attack.
	"HELP! HELP!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. She began to scream as loud as she
could,banging vigoursly on the door. 
	"Tiffiny!" Jack shouted firmly. Tiffiany calmed down,
	 "Take a deep breath,Tiffiny,you don't want to get sick again," I said. Tiffiny had a
heart desease,she panicked very easilly and it could get her very sick. 
	"We're going to get out of here," Jack said. "Hello?" "Can anyone hear me?" "Hello?" He
called. 
	"Help!" I shouted. "Why don't we push the door open?" Jack pushed the door as hard as he
could. Tiffiny and I joined. It wouldn't budge. 
	"We're gonners," Jack said."We'll just have to wait untill someone comes looking for us."
We all sat down. I felt something rub against my back,it smelled horrid,I quickly scooted
away from it.Then, we waited. And waited. And waited. Hours passed by. The thick darness
seemed to swallow us up. We could here everyone saying goodbye and going home now. 
	"April?April?We gotta go now. April?" A familiar voice said. 	"Janet!" I said, my voice
crackey from not talking for such a long time "Janet!" I said louder.
	 "We're down here!" Jack shouted. "In the basement!" 
	"HELP!" Tiffiny screamed. 
	"Hello? Where are you guys?" Janet said. Her voice sounded closer now. 
	"Over here! In the basement!" I screamed at the top of my voice. 		"Down here!" Tiffiny
yelled. hitting the door with her fists. 	We all hit the door,yelling and screaming like
animals.Now I could hear Janet's footsteps. She opened the closet door, making a creaking
noise, then she pulled up the trapdoor! 
	"April! Are you guys alright?" Janet gasped. 
	"Yeah,I said,shading my eyes from the light that looked so bright compared to the
darkness as Janet helped me up. Jack and Tiffiny came up, we all stood up and
stretched,rubbing our eyes. Then I looked back down at the basement. Right where I had
been sitting, was the thing that had rubbed against me. It was a body. It was hideous,it's
face like a skeleton with bits and pieces of rotted flesh, and huge, wide eyes. The cloths
it wore were torn and old,it was so awfull. 
	"Oh my god,"I stuttered,trying to look away, but I couldn't take my eyes off it. Slowly,
we stepped back from the corpse, and Janet slamed the door as quickly as she could, not
even bothering to replace the trap door. 
	"Come on, it's awfully late," Janet said. But as we closed the closet and walked to the
front door. We realized we were locked in. 
	"Man, they left without me," Janet said as she pushed the door with all her might. My
friends and I joined her, but it was hopeless. 	"Okay,we've got to find a way out of
here," I said.
	 "Let's split up," Janet sugested. "Um, April,you search downstairs with Jack, And I'll
go with Tiffany upstairs."If you find anything,just call me."
	Janet and Tiffiny climbed the stairs, then Jack and I began to explore the lower floor of
this mysterious house. 

                  I wraped my hand around a cold,hard doorknob.
                       "Okay," I said under my breath,reassuring myself that there
probably wasn't anything in there but some insects and dust.
                    Slowly,I twisted the doorknob. It craked as I turned it,the door
slowly moving foward,dust falling from the top of the door. Then, as fast as I could, I
pushed it foward.
                           "What is it?" Jack asked as I entered the room.
                  Nothing. There wasn't a thing in this room. The paint was chipped. The
ceiling coated with cobwebs. But the room was empty.There were'nt even any windows.
                    "Maybe we could break the walls,they're probably pretty weak by now,"
Jack said.He walked up to the west most wall, and shoved himself against it.
             "Jack," I said rolling my eyes. But he still kept pushing it. "Jack," "JACK!"
I shouted.
                    "Sorry," he said,looking down at his feet.
"Let's try the next room," I said, closeing the door behined me as we walked out.
             This time, Jack opened the door. He casually turned the knob, and gently
swung it open. Only this room wasn't empty. It was gigantic, a ballroom, perhaps. But you
could barely notice the size of it. It was the things in it that caught my eye.
Hundreds,thousands of plants. Trees,banna plants, shrubs and vines against the walls. Huge
and wide, heat lamps hung from the ceiling, along with flowers and herbs in big pots. And
all around there were bushes, vegetables,fruits,even some plants I couldn't reconize. A
big,dry fountain stood tall and proud in the center. It was an unimaginable arragement,but
all the plants, every single leaf,stem, and root, was dead. They were all brown and black
as if a huge fire had burned them all.
      "Wow,this guy was really into plants," Jack said,walking around,accidently knocking
over a pot. It hurtled down to the ground, crashed, and little pices of hard clay and soil
spread acroos the ground.
      "Oops," Jack said.
             Suddlenly, another pot crashed, then another. A huge pot containing what
looked like a strwberry plant fell from the ceiling.
              "April," I heard a faint voice say.
                     "April," It called. "April,APRIL!"
            "We better go," Jack said.
	I followed Jack out of this dead greenhouse,taking one last look at it, then I closed the
door behined me.
    "APRIL! APRIL!" Janet screamed.
I rushed back to the main hall, Jack and I climed up the stairs swiftly. I followed
Janet's desperate voice, until we reached a door with a red knob. I opened the door, to
find Janet staring at the ground. JAnet maved over for me to see. There, sprawlled on the
ground in an odd posistion, was Tiffany. Her eyes wide open, her face cold and pale. Jack
rushed up to her and kneeled down, laying his head against her chest. 
            "She's alive," He said. "Her heart's still beating."
         "What happened," I gasped, holding my hand over my wide-opend mouth, my jaw
haning down in surprise.
        "There was a man, right where you're standing. He said to get out, and Tiffiny
just freaked out, I didnt know what to do, I'm sorry. She just strarted to scream and
cry,then she fainted," Janet replied.
           "She's probably just in shock," Jack said. "She'll be alright."
  	Nice and easily, we carried her down the stairs, and laid her down at the bottom of the
stairs.
                  After a moment of silence, Janet spoke.
          "We have to get out of here," she said in a worried tone.
            "Did you guys find anything?" I asked.
                    "No,the only windows are too high for us to reach,even if we could,
they're all boarded up," Janet replied.
                   Jack looked at the front window.
                           "That one isn't," he pointed out.
Janet and I toched the cold glass. A long crack ran all the way across it.
                 " Let's break it," Janet said in her own devilish way. She formed a fist
and tightened it untill in turned red like a tomato, then with all her power and rage she
swung at the window.'
	"OWWWWWWWW!!!" She screamed. The window hadn't budged. If JAnet had broken anything it
would've been her own hand.
                  "If that won't work,nothing will," Janet cried weakly, rubbing her hand,
which had turned vagely purple.
               We stood silently,all three of us, staring at the floor,our feet, and our
hands. Each of us thinking our own thoughts. "We can't stay in this house forever," I
thought." There's got be a way out. "There must be way out."
             Suddenly, Jack had an idea. 
                       "We could use the body."
             "What are you thinking?" I cried.
                 "I said, we could use the body, Jack said, determind.
           "Well you can count me out!" I said giving up all hope, as usual, sitting
againt the bottom step next to lifeless Tiffiny.
          "I think it's a great idea," Janet said. Oh well. It was always Janet to the
rescue, Janet this and Janet that. I was always the one that retreated to the corner, all
alone.
                  Janet and Jack opened the closet door and climbed into the basement.
Then the came up, Janet holding the feet with one hand, squeezing her nose with the
other.
             "How long as this guy been dead anyways? You'd think someone would've put 'im
to rest by now," she said in her usual, annoying tone.
          Jack clutched the skull. "Okay, you can put it down now," He told Janet as I
watched in disgust. 
                 Janet dropped the feet to the ground.
                      "Okay,stand back!" Jack said,holding the rotted body in his arms.
And with that said, he ran towards the front window,and with all his might, he shoved it
right into the window,shattering it to pieces instantly. For just a seconed, everything
was fine. We were free, we could get out of this wretched place and go home. But then,
standing right beside jack, was a,a creature. No, a man. A frightning light shone arounded
him. He was dressed ina suit and tie, his white hairs thin and tangled. But his eyes, they
were so large and crude, as if they were full of pain, they were deep and red, lined with
pure exhaustion, but deep inside I could see his sadness.
                 "STOP HURTING ME!" He shouted firmly, so loud that it hurt my ears, then
it began to echo, fading away into nothing. In a flash, he moved ever so quickly, pushing
Jack to the ground with an unbelieveable force. Then, he vanished.
                 "You okay,Jack?" Janet asked. Jack didn't answer.
                          "Jack?" I asked, getting up and rushing to him.I squatted down
in fron of the window,the cool breeze blowing on the back of my neck. Jack was face down
to the ground. Softly, I turned him over. A sharp piece of glass had pierced his heart.
               "Jack!" I screamed in shock."Jack! No! No Jack! Please! Jack! Jack!" I
cried. My tears fell on him, my eyes were flooding with tears.
           "A-April, Don't re-member me like th-this," he croaked.
                  "No! NO! You're gonna be okay, it's gonna be just fine," I screamed.
                     Janet kneeled down, her lip quivering, her entire body shaking. I had
never seen her like this. Ever so slowly, she pulled the shard of glass from jack, who
shoke in pain. Then she dropped it, her hands shakeing vigorosly.
                   "Jack! Jack! Please Jack! Please don't die! Jack, oh, Jack!" I
cried,closing my eyes tight like a child trying to awaken from an awfull nightmare. My
hands were drenched in his blood.
               Jack gave me a kind smile, a smile like it was all a joke. His blue eyes
glittered, and finnally, they,they shut.
            "No!" I shouted. "No."
        Janet put her arm around me. 
                   "I'm so sorry," She said. I layed my head on her shoulder. Slowly, we
stood up. Then, that terrible man apeared again. 
             "Get out of my house!" He screamed wildly.
        	But I stayed put. "You. You're old Mr. Blaine are'nt you?" I said. "How could
you! How could you! you killed him! You killed Jack!" I cried in rage. Mr. Blaine charged
at me, but I didn't care. He ran right through me, like a cold, icy spear right through my
stomach. For only a seconed, I was him. I felt his sadness, his resent, all in  one
moment. Then, he ran outside, and he fell right into his own disgusting, decayed body.
             I looked at the body. It shook a little. Then Janet and I sat back down.
After crying over Jack for quite some time, I said goodbye one last time. 
             "Tiffiny!" Janet remembered. We rushed to the stairs, but she wasn't there.
We ran up the stairs, shaking each and every door, but they were all locked. Finnaly I
reached the red knob.  
	"Mmm...he...lp" I heard roughly from the door.
                  "Tiffiny! I shouted! "Tiffiny! We're gonna get you out of there!" I
screamed.
               Janet emerged from another corrider
                        " Did you find her?" Janet asked.
             " Yeah, but the door won't open.
                           Janet took a deep breath.
                "Okay," she said. "We can do this together."
                  Together, we twisted the doorknob. I looked into her eyes. "We're
sisters" I thought. "We can do anyhting together."
                  The door clicked, and together, we pushed it open!
        Tiffiny was on her hands and knees, trying to get up.
           "Tiffiny!" I screamed, hugging her.
                     " Who dragged me up here?" she asked, she looked weak and tired.
"Somebody was dragging me up here."
         "Don't worry about it," Janet said. " At least you're still alive."
    "What do you mean?"
                   "Well,there was a man, a ghoastly old man, he dragged you up the
stairs, and he-he killed jack" Janet stuttered.
                Tiffiny clasped her hands around her mouth,her eyes widened.
  "C'mon, let's go home now," Janet said.
                We all walked down the stairs. Tiffiny almost fainted when she saw Jack. 
                 "Jack deserves to rest," I said. "We need to take him with us, so that he
can be buried properly.
                  Janet and Tiffiny agreed. Together, Janet and I climbed out the riged
window, carrying Jack's body. I cried just looking at his poor, helpless body. Tiffiny
followed after us, and as we headed up under the bright moonlight, I soft voice whispered
in my ear:
                            "This isn't over."
           
    
   

        
This is the ending for my english class, but I'm thinking of writing more about it.
Should I? Please tell me what you think!

P.S. I'm not posting more untill someone else posts.

19 October 2010, 03:58 AM   #2
Guest Poster
Somebody? Anybody?Please?Comment?

26 October 2010, 03:47 AM   #3
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 29
I Saw Your Post On Lucy101_is_back And I Decided I'll Help You Out And Read Your Story
Because I Also Know How Hard It Is To Get People To Read Your Stories On This Club. But
Sadly It Is Night Time And You'll Have To Wait Until Morning For Me To Read It XD But I
Promise I Will!
*~M~*

Books:
Edogon
Don't Kill Alice (Alice Zacharra Series)
Green Leaf
Last Summer's Black Heart~
'Courtship Of The King's Daughters'
Adam & The Gone
Clock Strikes
Black Hole 
Deserted
Van Hellsin (Dimitri, Demon + Lianna Series)
Downhill Or Uphill From Here
Solitude
Hating On You
If I Go
Strangled Silence
Burning Sun
One Summer
Strike
Unrevealed
Black Hope
How Far Would You Go To Find Out? (Gender Bender)
Marked
Stone-Away

27 October 2010, 12:14 AM   #4
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 29
I Think It's Very Good Actually I Can See Depth Deveolping In The Story And A Chance For
A Very Complex Story!

But Editing XD

He walked up to the west most wall

Did You Mean To Say; He walked up to the west wall (?) It'd Make More Sense That Way.

closeing the door behined me as I walked out.

Were You Meaning That She Was The Last To Walk Out, Or She Left Jack In There And He Had
To Open And Then Close The Door? If Not Then This Would Be Better Suited, In My Mind:
closeing the door behind us as we walked out and down to the next room. 

This One Here Is Editing Once Again: walking around,accidently knocking
over a pot. It hurtled down to the ground, crashed, and little pices of hard clay and
soil
spread acroos the ground.


For Instance Try This: walking around, and accidently knocking
over a pot. It hurled to the ground, crashed, and little pices of hard clay and soil
spread across the ground.


But Yeah All I Have To Really Say Is Editing, And I Know It's A Dreadful Thing, Trust Me I
Don't Even Edit Until I Finish A Chapter Or Book! But Other Than That I See A Lot Of
Potentail And Would Read It! Good Luck.
*~M~*

Books:
Edogon
Don't Kill Alice (Alice Zacharra Series)
Green Leaf
Last Summer's Black Heart~
'Courtship Of The King's Daughters'
Adam & The Gone
Clock Strikes
Black Hole 
Deserted
Van Hellsin (Dimitri, Demon + Lianna Series)
Downhill Or Uphill From Here
Solitude
Hating On You
If I Go
Strangled Silence
Burning Sun
One Summer
Strike
Unrevealed
Black Hope
How Far Would You Go To Find Out? (Gender Bender)
Marked
Stone-Away

27 October 2010, 01:25 AM   #5
Guest Poster
Last edited by ‹☮SmileyPeanut☮›, 27 October 2010
Thanks. I actually typed it really fast then I went to bed, but I have the edited version
now!


Did You Mean To Say; He walked up to the west wall (?) It'd Make More Sense That Way.

yes,yes I did.
        
Were You Meaning That She Was The Last To Walk Out, Or She Left Jack In There And He Had
To Open And Then Close The Door? If Not Then This Would Be Better Suited, In My Mind:
closeing the door behind us as we walked out and down to the next room. 



I didn't think of that! Thanks!

But Yeah All I Have To Really Say Is Editing, And I Know It's A Dreadful Thing, Trust Me
I Don't Even Edit Until I Finish A Chapter Or Book! But Other Than That I See A Lot Of
Potentail And Would Read It! Good Luck.

Yes,it is A dreadful thing. I thought my computer didn't have spellcheck butit does! My
dad just never downloaded it!! So now it is edited, and My eanglish teacher loved it

Should I write a Sequel?

27 October 2010, 02:04 AM   #6
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 29
That's Great =D As For The Sequal, Well That Depnds On How You End The Book And If You
Have A Idea In Store For The Sequal That You'd Actually Be Committed To. Sometimes Sequals
Can Be Harder To Deal With Because You Only Liked The Idea Of Having A Sequal But The Idea
Ran Sour And You Lost Intrest. If You Were To Finish To The End, Well Then I Could Tell
You.

Like My Story Edogon, Because Of The Way I Plan To Finish It Off, It'd Be Silly If It
Didn't Have A Sequal. 

But I Wish You Luck And Will Read More!
*~M~*

Books:
Edogon
Don't Kill Alice (Alice Zacharra Series)
Green Leaf
Last Summer's Black Heart~
'Courtship Of The King's Daughters'
Adam & The Gone
Clock Strikes
Black Hole 
Deserted
Van Hellsin (Dimitri, Demon + Lianna Series)
Downhill Or Uphill From Here
Solitude
Hating On You
If I Go
Strangled Silence
Burning Sun
One Summer
Strike
Unrevealed
Black Hope
How Far Would You Go To Find Out? (Gender Bender)
Marked
Stone-Away

27 October 2010, 02:06 AM   #7
Guest Poster
Thanks!
The Sequel is going to be about April, Tiffany, and Janet accidently entering the
house and finnaly beating the ghoast

27 October 2010, 02:20 AM   #8
Joined: 16 Apr 2010
Posts: 29
Hmm Wouldn't You Think That Would Actually End In The Real Book Though? When Talking
About Sequals, Mainly Sequals To Another Book Have The Same Characters But With Somewhat
Of A Different Plot Than The Orignal.
*~M~*

Books:
Edogon
Don't Kill Alice (Alice Zacharra Series)
Green Leaf
Last Summer's Black Heart~
'Courtship Of The King's Daughters'
Adam & The Gone
Clock Strikes
Black Hole 
Deserted
Van Hellsin (Dimitri, Demon + Lianna Series)
Downhill Or Uphill From Here
Solitude
Hating On You
If I Go
Strangled Silence
Burning Sun
One Summer
Strike
Unrevealed
Black Hope
How Far Would You Go To Find Out? (Gender Bender)
Marked
Stone-Away

16 November 2010, 05:13 AM    #9
Guest Poster
I don't think I can write the sequel, right now I'm working on a project called 215
Cherry Tree Lane, well for now, I'll probably change the title as the story unfolds. It's
going to be aboout two families that join together and move into a new house in a new
town. THere are 15 children,7 girls and 8 boys. Sounds Like an average plot? Oh no. It's
going to have drama, fiction,comedy, it's gonna be silly,sad,heartbroken,romantic,fun.
Well at least if I don't procrastanate so much. I do Have the "plan" and some background
information I jotted down. I might share it here when I'm through.



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