Taken From: Here
Hey There Dumper & Dumpees,
Dumping someone can sometimes be more difficult than getting dumped. I’ve compiled a top
ten list of tips on breaking up with someone. The first and foremost thing you have to
remember is that you did care about this person at one point. Even though you might feel
like you just want to send them a break up text, or just shout in their face “IT’S
OVER” – remember to give them the respect you’d want if the roles were reversed.
Like every matter of the heart, every situation is different, but everyone is human and
hurting sucks. So be nice!
1. When it’s Over, it’s Over – Do NOT drag it on. If your heart and head aren’t in
it anymore, and you know it’s over, then keep them in the loop. No one likes being
strung along. You’re not saving their heart or doing them a favour by waiting it out. If
you want it over, then end it asap.
2. Tell Them the Truth – You’re already breaking up with them, they deserve the truth,
right? They’re going to ask why – you owe it to them to tell them. Obviously if it is
something small and petty, or you’re just crushing on another, sugar coat it. No one
needs a broken heart and a kick to the face.
3. Wait it Out – Even if you’re breaking it off cause you found someone new, give your
current partner a little time. If you break up with them don’t be out on the town that
night with your new beau (it’s happened to me and it HURTS). Also everyone needs a
little grieving time. It’s unhealthy to dive in to your next relationship without coming
for air. Your expectations and processes with one get blurred in to the next. You want to
start fresh, that’s why you broke up with the last person.
4. Lovers to BFF’s – This doesn’t always work. There are those rare, rare situations
where you go from being each others world to each other buds but this is highly unlikely,
especially if you’re doing the dumping. You obviously saw your relationship in different
ways, and you don’t want to befriend this person and give them the false hope that
you’ll fall back in to the love. Overall though – this one could just take time. Maybe
in a little while down the road you’ll be able to be buds, but for the time being give
them space to let the lust sizzle out.
5. Listen – So this one MAY suck. There is nothing more annoying than being over and
done with someone and having to answer their why’s and what if’s, but you chose to get
in a relationship with them in the first place, so deal with it and open your ears.
Repeat yourself, don’t go back on why you know you’re getting out, don’t give them
any false promises to make it easier, don’t get suckered back in, remember why you broke
up with them and stick with your reasons.
6. No Text Dumps – Having the courage to look your partner in the eye and tell them that
you don’t want anything to do with them anymore is one of the hardest things to say, but
you just have to deal with it. Do not send them a break up text, don’t leave them a
MySpace message, don’t leave it as a comment, don’t put it in your status update,
don’t leave them an answering machine message… you get the idea. Also do not break it
off in a public place. Unless you think the person is going to get physically violent with
you over the break up, make sure you’re somewhere comfortable where they can lose it if
need be, or yell at you without causing a whole lot of attention. Don’t do it with other
people around either, you’re putting this person you once cared for in a very vulnerable
situation, you don’t want them to feel any worse than they already do. Do not humiliate
7. Be Prepared – To follow suit with number 6, make sure you know what you’re going to
say. You know how to talk to that person, you’ve been talking to them, you know how
sensitive they are or how they take things and how well they listen. Also you should be
prepared so that if they start disagreeing and not excepting the break up you can
reiterate to yourself why you are doing this and not get dragged back in. Going back on
your word is the worst because you know you’re going to be back in the same
conversation, saying the exact same thing soon. You are breaking up with them for a
reason. Don’t lose focus.
8. Don’t Feel Guilty – A typical scene on the breaking up front is that when we try to
end a relationship we are made to feel guilty by the other, which makes us stay and resent
the person even more. If you want out, then no matter how much your partner begs ("I’ll
change," "I’ve done so much for you"), stick to your decision before things get worse.
9. Don’t Pick a Fight – There is NO reason do to this – you are leaving them, you
don’t need to fight anymore, you figured out it’s not worth fighting – so why are
you doing it more? They may try to pick a fight with you but it’s just human defense.
Let them freak out, get mad, yell, but don’t do it back. You’ve already won - you’re
10. Put Yourself in Their Shoes – If you were on the receiving end of this break up,
what would you want your partner to do to lesser the blow? How would you like them to
leave it with you? How would you like to be comforted? Don’t do anything that you know
you yourself couldn’t handle if the tables were turned.