WRITING:POETRY:Breathe Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 



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31 March 2010, 11:55 AM   #1
Joined: 29 Jun 2009
Posts: 28
I walk
And trip and I fall
Cannot stand tall
With all the world crashing down
Depression leaks down the hall
Memories fade
Be erased

Deep breath now
Breathe deep now
Don't let them know you are falling apart at the seams

Concrete fingertips
Aching lips
Bruised from your kiss
Just leave me alone
Is what I'd like to say
But you would never just give me away

Deep breath now
Breathe deep now
And never
Let them know
That I'm secretly falling apart
And never
Let them guess
The sorrow that I hold

Don't cry
Tears shine
They will notice the light
In this dark heartless night
Don't yell
The sound will give away
Where hides my heart
My aching heart

Quiet please
Breathe deep
Don't speak
Deeply breathe
Quiet please
Don't speak
Don't let them know
That you're bursting at the seams
Just breathe
I need a hope
I need a light
Something to look to
In the arctic night
Where beauty abounds
In everything
There, my friends, is what I need

31 March 2010, 12:33 PM   #2
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
i liked how the rhythm of your poem seemed to maintain the tension, it creates a feeling
of panic in the reader which works well with the reminders to breath deep...as though
thats not working..and the anxiety is building.

very nice

31 March 2010, 09:44 PM    #3
Joined: 5 Apr 2010
Posts: 1

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