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The Colongia Realm (couldn't come up with any other title)


* guest posting enabled *

23 July 2011, 05:30 PM   #1
Guest Poster
Last edited by ‹Hypochondriac›, 25 July 2011
this is what i got so far

One Day,during the time that all the realms were made,a tall man suddenly stumbled upon a
glowing cherry blossom tree.Oh,what a small beautiful tree that was!When the man looked at
the small tree and looked at all the other trees,he decided to bring them to life,so he
said the magic spell and slowly all the trees started changing.Oh,how beautiful all the
babies were! But one seemed to stand out of the crowd,one who was the most beautiful of
all,the one who glowed as bright as a star! The young beautiful maiden was named
Marrissa.He had turned a older tree into a older beautiful woman who looked like she could
be Marrissa's beautiful mother.After some time,the older one was named Kanya,and she
married King Neptune.Marrissa was combing her long beautiful shining blonde hair one night
on her balcony,the moon shined on her showing her beautiful face!She seemed like a angel
sent from Heaven above!But suddenly she saw a flash across the sky and heard a loud
explosion."Something's wrong."she mumbled to herself as she dropped her comb and ran into
her room towards the door,but she couldn't get out,she was only 5 years old at that time
and already very strong,she ripped the door off it's hinges and zoomed out like a
lightening bolt.When she got into the forest,where she saw the item crash,she saw a tall
handsome young boy about 6 years old.She instantly fell inlove with the young boy then she
later found out he was a prince and his name was Neil."What a beautiful name for such a
handsome boy!"she mumbled one night,while she was alone sitting at her dresser in her
bedroom.It was only 5 years after time began,she was growing up quickly.The next
morning,she wondered outside the castle into the nearby village.Everyone bowed to her,but
she just ignored them.All she wanted to do was explore and hopefully cross paths with the
handsome young boy she had seen back in the forest.she started singing a love song she had
written "Oh,shall love begin? Let me count the seconds of the amount of time that I shall
love you my sweet boy!1!2!3!Too many seconds to count!Shall our love begin? I give you
these roses,I give you my heart,I give you myself,with my undying love,my wonderful
prince,I love you-"she suddenly looked behind her hearing hands clapping and saw Neil
standing there in black hose and black leather shoes and a black tunic with red buttons,he
was smiling at her.Her blush began,she turned away not wanting him to see her blushing.He
got closer to her and swiftly got infront of her "Hello"he smiled.He had the most cheerful
smile she had ever seen!"Hello"she responded and curtsied.She had on a silver ankle length
short puffy sleeved dress with a grey bow and her hair was in a beautiful braid with tiny
white beads braided in."I am Prince Neil."Neil bowed to Marrissa which just made her blush
even more since they were still in the middle of the village and everyone was staring "I
am Princess Marrissa."Marrissa curtsied "Of Cavern Island"she added after a minute.Neil
grabbed her hand gently and kissed it "What a beautiful name,Princess Marrissa."he
whispered as he stood up straight and went off "See you soon,Princess."he disappeared into
the forest.Marrissa felt her heart beat faster.She ran off to one of the stands
"Daniel!Daniel!"she called as she hurried to the stand with a tall handsome man standing
at it.Daniel,the man at the stand,grinned at her "Hello Princess."he chuckled.Marrissa
grinned back "Daniel! There shall be a party tonight!"she squealed.She was trying to act
like an adult,but was failing at that.Daniel chuckled at the little girl and picked up a
apple and set it in a box "We're out of business,sorry Princess Marrissa."he looked at the
young girl and bent down to get even with her.Marrissa pouted "Why?"she frowned
deeply."The stand's getting moved."he laughed softly.He loved messing with the young girl
sometimes.Marrissa laughed softly and slapped his arm gently "You're a silly person."she
laughed.Daniel smirked and stroked her hair gently "You're beautiful,shall any girl catch
up to you?"he grinned and stood up straight.marrissa giggled "Why,thank you,Daniel."she
giggled and skipped off.Later that night,Marrissa stood on her balcony although it was
raining heavily,all of a sudden,her maid named Hacha ran to her "Young Princess,do not
stand in the rain,you might get ill!"she urged little Marrissa inside.Marrissa sighed and
sat on her bed then after a while of just sitting there looking at the door,Hacha finally
left the room and Marrissa got up and started getting dressed into her long sleeved white
nightgown.She slowly went back to her balcony and stared at the dark sky.She felt a sad
feeling knowing this is her last day in the Colongia Kingdom.She'd have to go back to
Cavern Island soon with her "family" and possibley never see Prince Neil
again.Suddenly,she heard someone call her name "It's Neil!"she gasped looking down under
the balcony and saw the young prince.Neil grinned and waved to her "Princess!"he called
and started singing,his voice was beautiful and calm "My love shall never be forgotten,for
I shall see it again.Forgotten love shall never be for I shall sing of it again!Oh,I shall
count the seconds of my love! 1! 2! 3! Too many seconds to count!"he sang to her.She
swayed to his singing closing her eyes and sang back "And your love shall never forget
you!"she sang beautifully.Neil grinned hearing that and disappeared into the forest.The
next morning,Marrissa was packing up her bags weeping silently.She carried her bag down to
the carrage then felt arms wrap around her from behind and looked behind her and saw Neil
hugging her "I shall never forget you,my love,we will meet again."he whispered right in
her ear and kissed her ear lobe gently and disappeared into a mist.Marrissa blushed then
got into the carrage and the carrage driver drove off once everyone and everything was on
it.About a week after they got back to Cavern Island,it was Marrissa's 6th birthday,she
grinned as she danced around the fire in the clearing.Everyone
danced,cheered,sang,drank,ate,and so many joyfull activities!What a joyous occasion!Her
best friends,Lucy and Lucas,were there dancing with her.Lucy's short dark curly hair
bounced on her shoulders as she danced,her dark green eyes gleaming with joy.Her dark skin
had a few scars on it from wrestling with her brother,Lucas,but she didn't let those
embarras her.Marrissa grinned and looked around and ran off to the shores of Cavern Island
and sat on the wet sand sighing then saw a ship in the distance.She stood up as fast as
she could once she saw the ship anchor near the island and gasped when she saw a young boy
get off the boat and grab her,he was 7 years old.A 7 years old pirate,already a
captain,who's name was Collin.He tried to drag her in the boat,but a cloaked small,but
tall figure grabbed him and threw him away from Marrissa.Marrussa gasped in surprise as
she saw Collin running back with a sword in his hand.The Battle began.
16,000,000 years later in 2011
       Marrissa was at the beach on cavern island.she hadn't seen Neil since the battle
with Collin.She was wearing a blue bikini and her heel length blonde hair up in a high
ponytail.she sat down on the soft sand and closed her eyes thinking about
Neil.Suddenly,Neil came up behind her and held his hand over her mouth and wrapped a arm
around her ignoring her frantic struggles "Come with me."he whispered in her ear.Marrissa
whimpered softly and got up following Neil.Neil slowly set Marrissa on a pile of red and
black roses and whispered to her "Do you recognize me,love?"he looked at her straight in
the eyes.Marrissa stared at him kinda scared "No,I don't."she replied."I thought so."Neil
sighed and looked at her and then smiled softly "My love shall never be forgotten,for I
shall see it again.Forgotten love shall never be for I shall sing of it again!Oh,I shall
count the seconds of my love! 1! 2! 3! Too many seconds to count!"Neil sang to her and
grinned.Marrissa blushed "Prince Neil!"she kissed him unable to control her joy.Neil
chuckled.They were both 13 now.Or atleast looked 13.Marrissa smiled "How did you get
here?"she asked "My father had put up a barrier...."she stared at him in disbelief "Or are
you just another shapeshifter trying to win my heart?"she frowned.He smiled softly
"Nothing can keep me from my love!"he chuckled "And no,I am no shapeshifter."he
smiled.Marrissa looked around then looked at him "I give you my love forever."she
whispered to him then got up.Neil also got up and wrapped his arms around her waist and
leaned in with his mouth right by her ear "I love you."he whispered then swiftly ran
off.Marrissa went back to the beach very happily,but felt disturbed when she saw a pirate
ship.She gasped when she saw Daniel on the ship,a proud tall handsome pirate captain,he
stared at her in disbelief then ran at her and lifted her up in a hug "Oh,I missed you so
much Princess Marrissa!"Daniel grinned.Marrissa blushed "I missed you too Daniel! I had no
idea that you were a pirate! I always thought you were against them!"she smiled
weakly.Daniel grinned "There is alot you don't know about me."he whispered leaning in
closer.Marrissa backed up "What do you mean?"she asked.Daniel chuckled "I have always
loved you.Why would you want that peice of trash? I believe his name is Neil,am I
correct?"he smirked."Neil is not a peice of trash!"Marrissa snapped and ran off."He is
evil,you are good! You two should have never met! He should've died!"he yelled after her
then got on his ship and sailed off.Marrissa ran into her palace and up to her
bedroom.Neil was sitting on Marrissa's bed staring at her and he got up "Marrissa,my
love,I would like to ask you something."he smiled."What's your question?"Marrissa
asked.Her heart was racing,she was almost as excited as the first time she met him!Neil
got down on one knee and pulled out a small box "Marrissa,my love,will you marry me?"he
asked as he opened the small box revealing a beautiful pure white diamond engagement
ring."Yes!Hai!"Marrissa shrieked in response not even paying attention to the ring and
kissed him as he slipped the ring on her finger.He kissed her deeply.
The next day.
Marrissa was taking a shower in the bathroom humming a soft tune as she bathed.Neil was
sitting on her bed,he was shirtless and wearing black jeans,a black spikey choker,and
black eyeliner.He looked around now all of a sudden feeling thirsty.He was a sun demon
anyways,he had to have blood to live.Marrissa came out of the bathroom now wearing a white
tank top,tight jean shorts that were very short,and no shoes.Neil went to her and looked
at her in the eyes "I am thirsty ,my love,may I have a bit of your blood?"he asked
relunctantly.Marrissa smiled and brushed her hair away so it wouldn't cover her neck and
looked at him as if telling him to bite.Neil slowly sank his fangs into her neck sucking
in her blood while holding her close.He knew she never ran out of blood.He never knew
how,but she never died of bloodloss even if she lost a lot of blood.When he finished,he
pulled away and kissed the wound and looked at her "Thank you."he whispered then sat on
the bed wiping the blood off his mouth.Marrissa smiled and sat down by him.Neil all of a
sudden grabbed her shirt and slowly slipped it off.Marrissa blushed and looked up at him
as he took off her bra and he took off his pants.
A few hours later.
Marrissa and Neil were laying down in the bed asleep.Slowly,Daniel snuck in and pulled out
a gun.Neil woke up and pulled out a sword from under the bed and slashed at Daniel.Daniel
screamed in surprise as the sword cut his chest leaving a deep cut and he started shooting
at Neil.Neil suddenly did a bunch of flips and stabbed Daniel in the head killing him
instantly.Marrissa woke up and went wide eyed in surprise."Neil!"she shrieked as she sat
up in surprise.
A few days later.
Marrissa was getting a Ultra-Sound.She was pregnet with a baby girl.She looked at the
cieling then at Neil who was standing by the hospital bed.Neil smiled looking at the
screen.
16 years later
Marrissa sighed.She looked at her finger.She and Neil had just split up,all because he had
killed her brother.Moon,the little girl she had 16 years earlier,was stuck at the age of
2.She giggled and tugged on Marrissa's shirt gently "Mommy,come on! We gotta hurry or we
won't have time to go see auntie Leanna!"She tried to pull Marrissa into the small
store.Marrissa laughed softly as Moon caught a snowflake on her tounge,she always thought
it was cute when anyone tried to do that.Marrissa and Moon ran into the store,they had to
buy some clothes so they could go to Marrissa's sister's party.Marrissa tried on a long
flowing strapless white silk dress that had a seductive slit on the side exposing her
leg.Moon tried on a cute white short puffy sleeved dress with a bow in the back and
giggled cutely.Marrissa smiled and bought the dresses "Let's go to the
party,Moon."Marrissa smiled.
A hour later
Marrissa danced with Leanna.Leanna's short blue hair was brushed to the side and she was
wearing a short blue mini skirt and blue tank top.Moon giggled dancing with Pooky.Both
were dancing the Macerena.All of a sudden there was a sound of breaking glass
upstairs.Marrissa looked up the stairs and went up there followed by one of her
brothers.Her brother's name was Zeo,the most immature usually,he stayed behind Marrissa
cautiosly.When Marrissa started reaching for the door,the door was ripped off it's
hinges.Ryan,a gang leader and vampire,looked at Marrissa and hissed "Who are you,cutie?"he
smirked reaching to grab her arm until she slapped him."Marrissa.The Princess of Cavern
island and the Colongia Realm"she snapped.Ryan smirked and suddenly grabbed her and him
and Marrissa disappeared along with the gang.
At the hideout.
Ryan pinned Marrissa against the wall "Tell me,cutie,are you single?"he
chuckled."Sadly,yes."Marrissa replied."Well,then,cutie,why don't we have a little
fun?"Ryan grinned getting his lips closer to hers.Marrissa spat at him "I'd rather stick
pins in my eyes."she snapped at him."That ain't nice,babe."he smirked and all of a sudden
kissed her passionately pinning her there.Marrissa blinked in surprise.....although
something about him attracted her.....she didn't like him....or did she?
     A hour later
Marrissa laid down in the bed looking at Ryan.Ryan was holding her close to his chest.He
had just listened to her sob about the breakup with Neil and was comforting her."He was a
lowlife,you deserved better."Ryan whispered "Like me."he started kissing her neck.Marrissa
didn't seem to care,her cheeks were pink now.He wrapped his arms tightly around her
holding her as close as possible.He slowly slid his tounge into her mouth.
The next morning.
Marrissa woke up right before Ryan did and quickly jumped out the window,she didn't
understand him.When they first met,he seemed so mean and rough,but last night......he was
sweet and nice and understanding.She ran out onto the street and ran as far as she
could.Daniel had come back to life and appeared infront of her "Marrissa,live with me,on
the open sea,and you'll be free."he whispered."O-okay"Marrissa said looking up at him.

4 November 2011, 05:25 PM   #2
Joined: 4 Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Hmmm...Okay,that was pretty good!^_^ Here's what I think:
-Split it up into chapters.You don't need to create names for the chapters,but that would
give us some info about it,so you could.
-It's good that you don't have an official name for it,but if that is the official
name,you'll just get bored with it and give up.So take my advice and don't do that.
-Make the action parts longer.If you have a story with just romance,it will never
survive.Action is just as important as romance.
-Describe some more.What are the characters feeling?Like when Marrissa says yes to Daniel
at the end.What is she feeling there?That stuff is,believe it or not,important.
---
So,that's pretty much it!I'm so very sorry if you take my critisism the wrong way.I hope
this will help you write better.

5 November 2011, 01:01 AM   #3
Guest Poster
o.o actually i stopped with that one and transformed it to a kind of mystery with not
much romance so far XD here's what i transformed it into:

Marrissa walked around in the snowy wasteland.She sighed as she touched her cat ears and
looked at the ground. "Where am I?"She mumbled,as she walked.Suddenly,she shrieked loudly
being caught in a net. "Hunters!"She shrieked very afraid.She looked around not seeing
anyone and frowned deeply.She pushed her hair out of the way and blinked when a snowball
hit her."Hey!Who just threw that?!"She frowned.
A laugh came from behind a nearby tree.Daniel came out from behind it."Oh,come
on,Marrissa,stop being so stressed!"He laughed getting the net off of her.He had always
been the trickster of the family.He loved picking on Marrissa,because of her being
stressed all the time.
"Daniel,I'm stressed,because the humans know about us now.They'll most likely put us in
zoos or try to kill us for game."Marrissa sighed.She stood up.What a foolish person,he
is!I need to tell momma about this,but maybe.....just maybe.....I can make a deal with
him.She thought to herself. "Hey,Daniel,I'll give you a tuna if you leave me alone for the
rest of the day!"She grinned.That always worked.
"Tuna!?I'd love some!"Daniel grinned.His red cat tail swished back and forth
excitedly."It's a deal!"He shouted.He smiled up at her trying to grab the tuna from her.
"Give me the tuna,sis!"He whined.
Marrissa laughed softly. "Okay,okay,Daniel,here's your fishy!"She gave him the fish.So
foolish.I hope he knows there are sleeping pills in that tuna.She thought to
herself,laughing inwardly at the young boy's foolishness.She watched as he nibbled on the
fish falling asleep."Time to go home,little one."She smiled picking him up gently.She ran
off towards a large white mansion,where her family lives.She rushed upstairs and set him
in his bed.She walked out into the hallway and saw the large,tan,dark haired man she calls
'Dad'."Hi dad."She said looking up at him.Why does he have to be so tall?She thought to
herself running a hand through her hair.
"Hello daughter."The man said."Can you go help your mother with cooking dinner?"He
asked.His dark green eyes seeming to be emotionless,as usual.He looked handsome,yet,his
usual emotionless look on his face took away from his appearance.No one had ever seen him
smile. "Your grandparents are coming over later."
Oh,joy.Grandma and Grandpa Lonia are coming.What a fun night.Woohoo.She thought to herself
sarcasticly."Yes,dad."She went downstairs to her beautiful mom.Her mom had long curly
blonde hair and light,soft brown eyes.She went over to her. "Hi mom."She smiled up at
her.She had always liked her mom,she was always nice to her.
"Hello darling."Her mom smiled."Can you put the chicken in the frier please?"She asked.Her
long blonde curly hair was in a low ponytail,and she was wearing a soft light blue apron
with a dark blue heart on it that had the words 'The Best Mom In The World' on it.
Marrissa put the chicken in the frier and looked out the window and shrieked slightly in
surprise seeing her grandparents pull up in their black jeep.They're earlier than
usual.She thought to herself then took her gloves off and walked over to the door and
opened it."Grandma,grandpa!"She called.She straightened her light blue torn jeans and
white turtle neck sweater.She watched as her energetic grandparents jumped out of the jeep
coming towards the door.
"Oh,sweetie!I thought you'd be on a date,you're so beautiful I'm surprised you're
single!"Her grandpa grinned coming over.He had always tried to rush her to get a
boyfriend.
Marrissa smiled. "Grandpa,I still hadn't found the right one yet."She smiled at him.She
turned around and lead them into the living room. "Dinner will be ready in a minute.Don't
get dad mad!"She grinned.She knew her grandpa loved getting her dad mad.
Later at dinner.
Marrissa stormed upstairs to her room and slammed the door.She groaned. "When will they
just shut up about Neil?"She plopped down on her bed and started texting her best
friend,Scotie.
Marrissa: Hey,guess what? 
Scotie: What? :o No sad face!!!!!Grandparents?
Marrissa: Yeah,sadly,they're teasing me again about Neil.T-T
Scotie: That weird son of a gang leader? Ew.He's cute,but never talks,unless to you.No
offence. o-o
Marrissa: No offence taken.They think I like him.Why do parents have to be so nosey? :'(
Scotie: Not sure.But,hey,I gotta go to bed.Talk to ya later,Marrissa~!
     Marrissa sighed turning off her cell phone and laid down on the bed.She heard a knock
on her door and saw her grandma there."Oh.Hi grandma!"She smiled alittle.
"Hello darling."Her grandma came into her room and sat on the bed. "Sorry about all the
teasing,hun."She smiled. "I got something for you,found it in my attic."
"Really?"Marrissa sat down next to her."You didn't have to get me a present."She smiled at
her.She loved her grandma,she always understood how she felt.
"Yes.It's in the jeep,follow me."Her grandma got up and took her hand leading her down the
winding stair case,to the front door,and to the black jeep.She opened it,pulling out a
large package."For whenever you need a dress."She opened the package and pulled out a knee
length tight white strapless dress. "This is the dress for you.It was enchanted by one of
my friends,so you can just imagine any dress,or any outfit,and the dress will become
it,including shoes."She pulled out a pair of white highheels.
"Oh,thank you grandma!"Marrissa smiled happily putting the dress and shoes back in the
package."I'm so going to wear it to the mall tomorrow!Enchantica,I mean Crystal,is so
going to love my outfit tomorrow!"She ran back up to her room and ran to her balcony
looking at all the houses nearby,glad everyone else was asleep.She watched her
grandparents drive off and grinned.She sat down on her bed and smiled.She then got
up,going to the bathroom and took a shower.She used scented soap that smelled like
strawberries to clean herself.She got out of the shower and dried herself off."Wow.I love
the smell of strawberries."She grinned as she put on her light green pajamas.She went to
her bedroom,but looked at her little sister."Hey Bianca."She smiled.
Bianca sucked on her thumb holding her teddy bear tightly."Sissy,I had a bad dream."She
pouted,still having her thumb in her mouth.Her light blue eyes sparkling,and her light
brown hair shining.Her brown cat tail swished back and forth,as her ears pinned against
her head.
Marrissa frowned,knowing Bianca's dreams always came true."What was it about?"She
asked.She knew everyone else knew their powers,but she didn't.She still hadn't figured
them out.She knelt down to look at Bianca right in the eyes.
"I dreamed that mommy,daddy,me,and Daniel all got kidnapped by hunters,and you were all
alone!It was worse than the shark dream!"Bianca whimpered.She wiped a tear from her
eye."I'm scared,sissy!"She cried.
"No,no,don't cry,little one."Marrissa picked her up setting her back in her little bed.
"If it happens,I'll make sure to save you all."She smiled at Bianca.Her purple eyes
sparkled with reassurance.
"Okay,sissy."Bianca yawned falling asleep.Her tiny little hands gripping her teddy
bear.She looked so adorable,she had always been called 'Speckles' because she looked as
cute as a speckled pup.
Marrissa went to her room with a grim look on her face and sat down on her bed.She laid
down and covered up.She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
The next morning,Marrissa woke up and quickly put on the white dress and white
shoes,imagining a light blue tank top and torn blue jeans with some white sneakers.The
dress turned into the outfit,and she quickly ran downstairs,not bothering to eat
breakfast.She ran towards the large school.She got to the entrance and waited for
Scotie.She smiled to herself thinking Daniel and Bianca had gone to their preschool class
and her parents went to work.
Scotie ran over to her,her midback length pink hair in a ponytail. "Hey Marrissa."She
grinned.She always loved pink.Today she was wearing a pink turtle neck with some dark blue
jeans with a pink belt,and pink highheel boots.Her pink eyes sparkled.She rubbed
Marrissa's cat ears. "I still can't get used to the fact you're a neko."She laughed
alittle. "Sorry."
"It's alright."Marrissa smiled. "Atleast,now that the secrets out,I don't have to wear
that stupid hoodie."She laughed remembering the hoodie.
"Marrissa,we should get to homeroom before we get counted as absent.Come on!"Scotie
grabbed Marrissa's hand and literally dragged her to class.She did that often when she was
in a hurry.
Later,after school.
      Marrissa walked into her home smiling happily.There was a eerie silence in the
home.She looked around,noticing the silence. "Mom?Dad?Bianca?David?"She called
nervously,then suddenly punched the wall remembering Bianca's dream. "Dang.Who got
them?"She mumbled to herself. "We don't have many enemies.Well,there are not many enemies
we know of........"She trailed off thoughtfully then sighed. "I need to get some help,but
from who?If anyone from school found out about this,they'd laugh or say I'm a liar.I don't
understand why,but there's no one I know of who can help me."She talked to
herself,sighing.She went outside and sighed. "Maybe I can search alone,or get grandma or
grandpa to help."She said thoughtfully,sitting at the base of a cherry blossom tree.She
leaned back and looked up at the sky,seeing storm clouds. "If I'm going to search for
them,I'll need all the supplies I can get."She frowned and went back inside to get what
she needed.She emptied her backpack and went into the kitchen,and started putting apple
slices,and other foods into small bags ad putting them in her backpack then put some
containers of water and fruit drinks into her backpack.She closed her eyes and sighed.Her
clothing changed into a black tank top,black jeans,and black boots.She fixed her long
blonde hair into a low ponytail.She smiled alittle putting her backpack on and walked
towards the door slowly.She heard the closet door open and looked at it.
A small,pale boy,walked out of it.He was one of the ghosts that stayed there. "Don't
go..."He frowned looking at her,a sad look on his face.She was the closest friend the
young ghost had.
"I'm sorry,but I have to save my family."She walked out,without looking back,and slowly
closed the door.She walked out into the streets,ignoring the cries of the young boy and
the heavy rain.She closed her eyes and sighed running off,into a nearby forest.She sat
down under a tree and leaned back,feeling a few raindrops falling on her face."I have to
figure out the most likely places they would be."She muttered thoughtfully.She heard heavy
footsteps and frowned deeply.
"Boo!"Neil suddenly came up behind her.He loved to scare people occasionally.
Marrissa jumped up,swinging her fist and hit him right in the nose. "Hey!You-Neil?"She
blinked in surprise. "Don't scare me like that!"She hissed a cat-like hiss.
"Sorry."Neil stood up,now having a bloody nose. "Anyways,why are you out here in the
rain?And why do you have a backpack?"He asked staring at her in complete confusion.
"My family's gone missing,I need to find them."She replied in a stern tone.She picked up
her backpack. "Now,if you excuse me,I'm going to go search."She started walking off
irritated.
He frowned. "Wait!I can help!"He ran over and grabbed her shoulder. "You can't go
alone,Marrissa.You know this is a crazy,unforgiving world.You need help.You can't do it
alone."
"Fine."Marrissa sighed,turning around and looking at him. "But try not to butt into my
life too much,just because you're cute doesn't mean I like you more than a friend."
"Alright."He smiled. "You might need Scotie's help too,just to be safe."
"Okay."Marrissa nodded. "Come on,I know where she lives.My phone's dead."She grabbed his
hand and started dragging him to a large house near the forest,trudging through the snow.
Scotie suddenly ran up to them. "Hey!"She smiled. "Where ya going?"
"We were going to your house."Neil smiled calmly. "Something's going on with Marrissa's
family."

16 November 2011, 09:42 PM    #4
Joined: 4 Nov 2011
Posts: 2
Wow,that's good!Mystery was a right thying to turn to.I hope you'll write more!^_^



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