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Cries Of The Innocent

17 November 2008, 10:30 PM   #1
Guest Poster
Last edited by ‹SecretsInTheShadows›, 28 November 2008
ITS A STORY IM WORKING ON =] there might be a few mistakes

Angel wiped her lips with her sleeve she got up and looked down at her prey she
sighed and flew of,she got home and walked in way passed her curfew but she didnt
care what she did was worst then getting grounded for what? a week. Her mom sat
silently in the living room she didnt move an inch until Angel flipped on the lights,
"where have you been." Her mom asked loudly. Angel covered her ears and yelled "shut
up, just please send me to my room i want to be grounded." her mother's mouth dropped at
thought of her daughter actually wanting to be in trouble. "What did you do, my god
Angel did you do it agian?" her mom screamed even louder than before. "Mom i cant
help it everytime the moon's out i turn into something i dont want to be, you got to
believe me mom you got to, you think i want to kill so many innocent people god, all
i see is their eyes staring at my i try to stop but i cant." Angels eyes became red
slowly "mom,please help me its coming agian." her mom looked at her scared at what
might happen "Angel calm down you dont want to do this." Angel smiled her voice
filled with hate "Oh,but mom i do, i do want to do this i hate you," she threw a lamp
on the floor "yeah that felt good but would feel better is to kill you." her mom
cried softly looking at her daughter she fell to the ground putting her hands over
her face "please dont do this." Angel cried out  "Mom please hel-help me,god he-," 
her voice was once agian filled with anger "i dont think your daughter is going to
be bothering us anytime soon ive put her in the back of  her mind."

17 November 2008, 10:46 PM   #2
The Founder
Joined: 19 Oct 2008
Posts: 32
Yeah, there are mistakes, but I think it's pretty good. I think it could use just a
little more backround or something.

17 November 2008, 11:30 PM   #3
Guest Poster
Yea I made it two in the morning with the lights barely open ((i like the dark)) my
stories are "different," from other people i like showing what cause something at the end,
but i guess thats just the way i roll.=]

18 November 2008, 02:11 AM   #4
Guest Poster
Oh my god, I like this story! Though I think it's probably better to add a couple more
paragraphs for the story. I love your characters, however! Continue the good work okay?

28 November 2008, 05:54 AM   #5
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 231
Good. But not my kind of story. I like love ones better because of my loveless life i

28 November 2008, 05:59 AM   #6
Guest Poster
wow im working on a love story its the only thing i read at night to make me go to sleep
i cant think of a title im thinking of "One red amongst the blacks."

29 November 2008, 01:26 AM   #7
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 231
Very... Poetic...

22 July 2009, 04:58 AM    #8
Joined: 9 Mar 2009
Posts: 2
I really don't understand the plot, but your writing is extremely well done. 
You should continue it.

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