[CRIT] Untitled. Login to Kupika  or  Create a new account 


[CRIT] Untitled.

13 August 2011, 11:42 PM    #1
Guest Poster
See, my and my friend did a roleplay, and she got my permission to write this. It isn't
even a quarter done, I just need some advice. 

Chapter 1. 
     Sitting down under the tree, Kristin threw her backpack down onto the
packed earth and emitted a sigh. It was homework, then mucking the stables today, and it
was the last thing she wanted to do: Stabbing horse crap with a pitchfork and then putting
it in a bucket. So, she wanted to stay here, at the park for a while. 
     Unzipping it, she rummaged around for Wuthering Heights, opening the beaten
book and flipping to chapter 7. Stumbling over the cockney, she managed to read most of
the chapter, but was interrupted by a smooth voice. 
     "I think I smell a little half-breed." A flash of blonde hair zoomed by her and
     "Sabien, why don't you just go away?" A chuckle, then a guy a grade above her was
standing there, his icy blue eyes staring down at her. 
     "I'm just here to warn you. Mask your scent, or don't come here, because it may
not be me next time." He said, a sneer to his words. 
     "This town is too small for an overload of vampires, but I'll take the
precaution." She whispered quietly, so no one could hear her. She put her book away and
looked to the road. "There's my mom anyways." 
     Sabien pursed his lips, then nodded. "Tell Adriana I said hello." 

     "How was school, honey?" Adriana asked, a bit too sweetly. 
      "It was fine. I had a History test, pretty sure I got an A." It was on the
French Revolution, which she remembers her dad telling her about, for he was living in
France during the peak of it. 
     "Very nice, Kristin." 
     "Mom, it seems like you don't even listen sometimes." 
     "No, I'm listening. Just gotta keep my eyes on the road." 
     Kristin sighed, then looked out the window to her Victorian farmhouse. It was so
beautiful in the sunset, though wait an hour and it would be intimidating. 
     "Kristin! We're home!" Her mother said, bringing her out of that creepy stare. She
blinked, dazed, then unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door. 
     Sabien chuckled under his breath, looking at the fifteen year old with the black
hair. He tried, though unsuccesfully, to keeps his fangs in and accidentally bit his lip,
putting his tounge up to the wound until it healed a few minutes later. Then, he revved
the engine on his motorcycle and pressed 2 on his speed dial. 
     "Father, I'm going to the city. I need blood." He said, and heard an okay. Quickly
hanging up, he sped down the tar-and-chip road, finding the interstate easily. 

No Privileges
Only privileged members of this club can post a reply.

Join this club
All times are GMT. The time now is 03:16 AM.

About Kupika    Contact    FAQs    Terms of Service    Privacy Policy    Online Safety
Copyright © 2005-2012