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Red Snow <story preview>

5 November 2008, 11:21 PM   #1
Guest Poster
*Lyla's P.O.V.*   ~The snow was always white.But now its red with blood.The war between
to vampire clans has been going  on for much to long and it needs to stop.I've lost many
of my family in this feud. I will end this war no matter what it takes.~ 
  I've been training for thirty years. To kill the other clan of the south. if they would
have just left my clan alone none of this would be happening.My mother would be alive
along with my brother and little sister.Looking out the window all i see is the suffering
people that had nothing to do with this,some were not even vamps. I shook the feeling of
remorse off and walked over to the door. Opened it and there at my door-step i see a baby.
Not any baby,a baby of the stars.I could tell by the way the baby's hair was silver and
how her eyes were more blue than you could find on earth.She was crying tears and
tears rolling on to her chubby red cheeks. I picked her up and rocked her to sleep the
whispered her name "Luna". 
*Luna's P.O.V.* (13 years later) 
    "I'm bored" i complained to Lyla.She sighed heavily "i can do nothing about that". I
looked at her then  past her a women with long blond hair was riding a black horse near
our farm. "Whats that?" i asked pointing to the women. Lyla looked over her eyes building
tears of fear,she quickly wiped them all away "Luna run inside!" she demanded pulling out
her sword. I ran to the house and into my room.   I looked out where Lyla was standing. I
almost screamed she was lying there in her own blood the blond women looking down wiping
her sword off on Lyla's shirt. Then vanished I started crying."don't cry" a cold voice
whispered. I jumped up looking at the door the women stood there smiling at me. I glared
at her. "she was going to prevent what you were made to do"she told me the smile was
gone,and her voice was very serious."made?" i chocked out. "Luna you are a weapon to stop
the vampire war".

what do you guys think?

6 November 2008, 01:57 AM   #2
Guest Poster
It looks really good continue the story please!!!

6 November 2008, 10:13 PM   #3
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 231
awe. some.  

7 November 2008, 12:10 AM   #4
The Founder
Joined: 19 Oct 2008
Posts: 32
Awesome. There are a lot of corrections to be made though.

7 November 2008, 12:13 AM    #5
Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 231
yes! *ten minutes of me say res...reser...res..* i can't think of the word... 

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