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31 December 2009, 03:15 PM
Joined: 31 Dec 2009
I hope you like the first secton in my story
please comment and tell me how to make it better
Isle of Kendal
I awoke on the charred island with a burning in my lungs and a fiery pain in my torso. I
turned around and looked at the boat witch was ablaze in a burning flame. Every breath I
took was filled with the smoke of the unforgiving clouds which put even more of a deathly
pain in my heart. I would have died if not so driven to kill it, it the thing that only
five summers before took this land and made it it’s own charred next full of spirits who
wander to find the next world.
Then a loud screech came from the dark clouded sky from above. Then it swooped into the
dried up mountain and then screams from those on fire scorched my head and make me burst
in curses. Angry was I so that I ran up the mountain to take give back what he gave to
them all of them. I was now going to get revenge through my horror and the crimes I
committed would all pay off now.
Five Summers ago
Fifteen was I when I was to be wed to my beautiful bride Veronica daughter of Isthalain.
She was magnificent her hair white with a light brown shadow her eyes were as blue as the
sky. She was also fond of wearing the color yellow and she would sing to the spring lake
everyday. Her voice was that of magic a fine voice was it. Sometimes I sat and listened
for hours looking at her beautiful figure crafted by Solaon.
Today we would wed by that glistening water and I would be her husband. The whole Isle of
Kendal would be there to see us be together forever. One thing she will do is sing a song
for us all. The love between us was an ongoing flame that could never be put out. Till
death do us part.
We gathered at the lake for the ceremony that would be brought from life and make the
will of the god come to life. I loved Veronica but sometimes I thought why should I be wed
to her I’m not worthy.
All from our small village showed even our chieftain who only one moon ago was mad at the
decision that I a common villager was to be with the most beautiful woman on the whole
isle. He came up to me with a stern, angry look above on his face and the brow of his eye
was lined and wrinkled. His muscular face looked at mine and stared me in the eye and said
“Treat her like she deserves” in a harsh voice.
“I know” I said in a startled voice
“Good” he said fast and then stomped into the crowd
One by one the people of our isle came into our midst and took a seat on the specifically
set evergreen logs and willow branches were placed on them to help keep younglings in
there place and stop them from falling right off.
“Brother!” yelled a voice in the distance I recognized the sound
“Sister!” I yelled back in a cheerful voice
We ran to each other I offered the greeting of a shake on the hand instead she came and
hugged me tight. She was two summers older then I and had already wedded our towns
apothecary who was great at making holy potions. His name was Widge, at first I did not
think that he should be with my sis but eventually I grew to like him. Now I get 5 copper
off cure potions. It still makes me laugh to this day.
“The day that my young brother now weds and becomes a man never would have seen it
coming.” Said my sister with her face grinning ear to ear.
“Well take a seat enjoy the festivities.” I said right back
She walked towards the logs smiling with glee. I looked up to find an alone small dark
cloud in the bright of blue sky which I found very strange. Very strange indeed
The ceremony had ended and we all went to long hall for beers and kegs. Now I was wed and
life was great. We sang the song of life with cheer. People fell in their chairs and took
a big swig of ale. Younglings were dancing and old ones were chatting and the happiest of
our times was that night. I never wanted it to end it was full of cheer and merriment.
A child looked out of a window in the giant log building “Mother what’s that.” The
child said pointing out the hole in the wall.
The mother looked out “I don’t see nary a thing young one.” She said and turned to
return to her tankard
“I know I saw something.” The boy said with a glum look on his face.
“Well look at the both of ya, you are happier then a hunter killing a winning boar”
said our peer
Veronica said “We couldn’t be merrier.”
Just then a man walked out and said “Everyone get to your houses the clouds are very
dark now and soon it will rain as hard as a boulder falling from its peak.” Just as he
said it a blast of light and fire shot at the man leaving him scorched. I ran out and
looked up above and there I saw a huge green beast shooting flame coming our way. A
Brazen bells rang and banged as children and woman ran for their homes and to the forest.
While the men ran for their heavy iron short swords and wooden shields held together by
steel nails imported from the mainland. Then ran and watched the creature lands right in
front of us.
It had huge green scales align its entire body. Its eyes were as red as blood pierced
from a mule deer. The teeth of the beast were sharper then our swords and it had three
rows of the massive teeth. On the back were spikes that aligned its back from the neck
down to the end of its tail. The scream of the beast was so load it pierced the souls of
men who heard it.
One of the hunters withdrew an arrow from his quiver, Knocked it in his bow, pulled his
bow to his face and then he aimed, let his finger go, and finally his arrow ran through
the air. It hit the beast but then sprang off his body and hit the ground.
The beast screeched into the air and swung its tail with such speed its spike went
through the hunter’s torso piercing his leather armor and skin shooting red liquid all
over the long hall and guards. Then with a flick threw the lifeless corpse at the log
building with so much force making it collapse on top of him.
We all jumped back. It swooped in to the dark sky and flew down shooting fire from its
mouth burning the whole village. Charring the logs that held the shelters making them
collapse on the residents inside. Screams filled the air, it flew down and grabbed four of
the soldiers in its claws and threw the men in the air falling to their death.
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