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TITLE: ANGEL IN HUMAN WORLD (WORKING ON IT!)


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20 June 2009, 05:44 PM   #1
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Last edited by ‹∞ Directioner ∞›, 1 July 2009
Newest story by me...anyways I made the character into a doll, so you can see what she
looks like:

In The Sky:
elouai's doll maker 3

Human World:
elouai's doll maker 3

Angel Costume: 
elouai's doll maker 3
      
      “Welcome to Angel Sky,” said the inter com. “Oh, and before I forget I need
Natalie Christmas to report to the main office.” Great now I have to go to the office,
before I go to class. Oh, wait! I forgot…you never met me before. Well, my name is
Natalie Christmas. Yep, that’s my name. I was born on Christmas, too. Anyways, I am 13
years old. My family includes two brothers, my mom, and my dad. My brothers are twins are
they are 17 years old. Oh, wait! Did I mention I am an Angle? Well, anyways I am. Yes,
Angel Sky is my school. Yes, I live in the sky, but we call our town The Angel Town; yeah,
pretty boring name. Anyways, back to the story. I waved good bye to my friends, because
they knew that the main office means only two things. One is you are in trouble and might
get kicked out of the sky, and you loss all of your memory of being an Angel. Trust me it
happened to one of the boys at the school. Two is you are sent down to the human world to
fight off an Evil. What is an Evil? An Evil is someone/something that is evil; yes, lame
name again! Anyways, I walked down to the office wishing it was just a mistake. 
	“Oh, hello!” said Mrs. Angel. Mrs. Angel is the longest living first female Angel.
She runs my school, too.
	“Hello,” I said.
	“Guess what?” said Mrs. Angel she didn’t sound too happy this time.
	“Am I kicked out? Because I swear I didn’t do anything wrong!” I blurted out.
	“Oh, no…Natalie…you are…going…to…the…human world,” said Mrs. Angel very
slowly.
	“What?” I said. Then Mrs. Angel explained to me about an Evil down there, trying to
take over the world. I said I would do it, but why me? She said if I defeated it I would
past the grade, and I was kind of failing it, so I took the chance. She said that she
already told my parents, and that I had to get my wings “off” right away. I know what
you are thinking. Well, they hide the wings until I put on this really awesome Angel
outfit. Anyways, they did that pretty quickly, and they made me an awesome Angel custom.
By the way it is only made for the human world. Finally, I went home, and started packing,
but some realized I couldn’t, because all my shirts had holes in it where the wings were
supposed to be. 
	“How did you get home?” asked Luke, one of my twin brothers.
	“Had to ride in this car thing.” I said, but then looked at him.
	“What?”
	“Where is Jack?” I asked, because they are always with each other.
	“Buying you clothes, because mom and dad doesn’t want you falling out of the sky.”
	“Wow, I hope he buys me cool clothes.”
	“Trust me he did a whole big report on what human’s wear these days.”
	“Oh!” I didn’t know that, but then again I don’t really talk to my brothers.
	“When are you leaving?”
	“Tonight,” I said. Then Jack came into the room, and threw a bag at me.
	“Those are the clothes I got you. You can get more down in the human world,” said
Jack.
	“Thanks!” I said, already looking for the car that can fly that was supposed to take
me down to the human world.
	“Did they tell you who else is going?” asked one of my brothers.
	“She said no one else was going, because this is an easy mission.”
	“Oh,” said Jack. Then I saw the car thing, and said good bye to my family, and opened
the door. Good, it was right by the door. I stepped in it, and we went down, down, and
down. Finally, we landed. I looked around and I was inside a house. Funny, I thought we
didn’t go through any houses, but then again Angels do have magical powers. When I woke
up, there were two people staring at me.
	“Hello new daughter!” said the lady.
	“Huh?”
	“Oh, you don’t remember? We adopted you,” said the man.
	“You don’t have to call us mom and dad though,” said the women.
	“’Kay,” I said.
	“Well, school starts in like an hour, and I have your letter right here, so get
ready,” said the lady, and then they both walked out of the room. I got up, and got
changed, brushed my long brown hair, and ate some breakfast with the lady and the man.
Then I started walking to school. They had to retell me how to get there, but they
didn’t mind, because they thought I was forgetful. Stupid people don’t they know that
Angels never forget anything? Oh, right I am a human. Then I saw the school. It was big.
Well, bigger than Angel Sky. I walked in the front doors, and found my locker. Huh? Where
is the hand print scanner? Oh, right…I had to use a lock. I knew that. I got my lock
from my backpack and looked at the code once and remembered it. Then I opened it and
looked through it. It was small. Smaller than the once at Angel Sky, and it was plain,
too. Then I heard a voice on my left side.
	“Hi,” said the girl.
	“Hey,” I said.
	“My name is Audrey. What is yours?” asked Audrey. Was I suppose to tell her my real
name? Then I remembered what the people said to me before I left. Yes, I was.
	“My name is Natalie, but you can just call me Nat for short.” I said. Yes, my friends
back home called me that all the time. 
	“Cool!”
	“So…”
	“What is your first class?”
	“I don’t know. Here,” I said while handing her the paper.
	“Your last name is Christmas?” she asked.
	“Yeah, I am adopted.” I said.
	“Cool…hey we are in the same class!”
	“Really?”
	“Yeah, we both have Mrs. Orange.”
	“Cool,” I said and then she turned to the locker next to me and opened it. Then I
heard my cell phone go off. The ring tone was called Being An Angel, by Lucy Clouds, the
Angel. Oh no! I hurried up and answered it.
	“I am going to kill you!” I heard a girl’s voice, and then she hung up on me.
	“Who was that?” she asked.
	“Oh, just my new mom that called and checked up on me.” 
	“Cool,” she said, and then she showed where we were going to be for the next six
hours. Wait, for the whole school day? Back at Angel Sky we switch classes and teachers
too! Well, the human world is pretty strange I said. Mrs. Orange introduced me and then
she made me sit next to Audrey, because she saw me and her walk in together, and she said
that it would be fine. Then the bell rang for lunch. Audrey had to stop at her locker, but
I didn’t, but I said I would go with her anyways. Finally, we got to our lockers. 
	“Hey, Ben,” said Audrey to the boy next to my locker.
	“Hey,” he said. “So who is next to us?”
	“She,” said Audrey while pointing to me. “Her name is Natalie, but Nat for
short.”
	“Hi,” I said.
	“My name is Ben,” said Ben. Well, I knew that already. Then Audrey told me that she
had everything, and that is was time for lunch. Ben said bye. 

22 June 2009, 03:09 AM   #2
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
that was aswome!!!you have to write more i loves it!!!!!!(and if your wondering why im
saying aswome its cuz when i spell awsome the right way,it has this red line under it
saying i spelt it wrong!wat the dealeo?)

22 June 2009, 08:11 PM   #3
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Thanks, and awesome is spelled that way!

Look it up if you don't believe me.

22 June 2009, 10:14 PM   #4
Guest Poster
Here's a rule that really helps a story: the 'show, don't tell" rule. When writing a
narrative, use thoughts,  actions, and spoken words to show what is happening. 
Abusing first person by making the narrator/main character tell you everything makes
everything seem a little rushed.

23 June 2009, 02:28 AM   #5
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
oh snap!are you serouse?!?!?!?!?!aswome is spelt awesome...omg!it is!!!!!!it doesnt have
the red line!!!!!!!!!im still gunna say aswome...and np

23 June 2009, 03:39 PM   #6
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Well, thanks for the helping!

23 June 2009, 04:31 PM   #7
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Here is more about the story:

          “Everyone asks me about Ben, so I will tell you about him.”
	“Huh?”
	“He is the hottest guy is school, he moved here two years ago, and he lived in
California, but he got kicked out of the school, so they moved here.”
	“So that’s how he got his great tan?” I asked.
	“Yeah…but he doesn’t remember like anything about his old school which is odd.”
Then Audrey walked toward a big group of girls and introduced me to each one of them. Then
we ate lunch while talking, but I was more thinking. Remember the boy that got kicked out
of the school once in my life time? Well, that happened two years ago. Rumor has it that
he was sent down to the human world. He was on a mission to find out what the humans
thought about a flower. Rumor has that if you smelled the flower you could see the Angels
in the sky. Well, he failed. Not just failed, but really failed. He was supposed to smell
the flower, but instead he started dating a human girl. Yeah, Angels are supposed to stay
with Angels. 
	“So Natalie how did you get that great tan?” asked one of the girls, her name was
Avery. Great…now I had to make up a story about my great tan. Yeah, Angels have great
tans, because we live in the sky right by the sun. 
	“Our person kicked us out of the house, and we lived right by a beach, so we tanned,”
I said lying.
	“Oh, but I worked for years on my tan, and it doesn’t get as dark as yours.” 
	“Well…”
	“You know what it looks just like? Ben’s tan!” said Audrey.
	“Yeah, it does!” said all the girls at the same time. Great…now they think I have
the same great tan as Ben’s, but he lived in California, and I live in the sky. Then the
bell rang, before any of us could say another word. I had to go to my locker, but Audrey
didn’t, and she said that she would meet me back at the classroom. I went to my locket
only to find a girl standing there, trying to open my locker. She looked like she was new,
so I hide behind a corner, while she keeps trying. Then I heard a voice behind me.
	“She is new, too,” said the voice, and I turned around to see Ben. 
	“Who is she?” I asked.
	“Her name is Lulu.”
	“Oh,” I said.
	“But my question is why is she trying to open your locker?” I knew right away. She
was the Evil. She was trying to open mine, so she could steal that great Angel costume
that I had to carry around everywhere I go. 
	“I don’t know,” I answered. Then he walked right up to her and said that it
wasn’t hers, and then she walked down the hall really mad. I said thanks to Ben, and
then walked to the same class with the same teacher. I wasn’t late, but I was close. The
day went by pretty slow, after that until the end of the day. Once the bell rang I walked
home alone. Then I heard a boom in the distance, and screaming, and even more screaming. I
ran home and turned on the news. There was a girl throwing bombs at people. Great, on my
first day I have to fight the Evil. I hurried and ran all the way there. I put on my Angel
costume behind a building. Wow did it feel great to have my wings again, and then my hair
changed from dark brown to light brown to hide me from who I was. I didn’t mind the
light brown looked better with my tan. I flew behind her, and shot my best spell that I
was taught, the bomb spell. Just like the Evil. She was caught off ground and fell to the
ground, but she got right back up, and she threw her bomb at me, but I noticed one thing.

It wasn’t a normal bomb, it was the gas bomb. I didn’t know the gas bomb spell, but my
brothers did, but all Angels knew what that bomb did. Either it would hurt you by hitting
you, or hurt you by the gas. My brothers told me the only way to get out of it, is to
catch it and throw it back at the person. I did what I was told. I caught it, and it was
about to release its gas, but threw it back. It hit her. Yes! Then she disappeared, and
that was my time to disappear, too. I flew back behind the building, and got my human
clothes back on. My hair color changed, wings disappeared, and my skin changed back to the
tan. 
	I ran back home, and turned back on the news. My new mom and dad were watching it, too.
They were surprised that the world was trying to be taken over.
	“Wow, I can’t believe that angel saved us!” said my new mom.
	“Yeah,” I said.
	“Yeah, but the evil one did look like an angel, too.” That’s because Evils can
change shape, but I couldn’t tell them that. Instead I told them I had homework which is
true, and ran upstairs to do it in my new room. I finished it, and said good night, and
went to bed. 
	The next morning the sky was cloudy. That made me miss the sun we always had. I heard my
cell phone ring, so I answered it. This time it was Mrs. Angel.
	“Good battle, but we sense more trouble today. Plus, we sense there is someone…”
Then she hung up. What about someone? Oh well, today is a new day. I got dressed, brushed
my hair, and then found a note. The note was from my new parents. They were saying that
they both had to work early and late, so they won’t see me for the whole day. 
	This time I skipped breakfast, and started walking to school. School was pretty boring
until I saw Evil. She had a scratched on her cheek. Even the most powerful Angel/Evil
can’t get rid of scratches, but we do make them heel faster. After the last bell ran I
went to my locker and opened it. Audrey was talking about the fight yesterday to some 6th
graders. Then I heard a voice on my left side.
	“Hello, Angel,” said Evil.
	“What?” I said, but Evil was walking away and only Ben was there.
	“Are you OK?” he asked. I nodded my head. “Hey, do you want to see the new movie,
If Only Was I an Angel?” I really did want to see the movie, but not with Ben. I just
wanted to see how well and close the movie was to the real Angles. I said yes, and we
walked to the movie theater. Ben paid for the two tickets, and some snakes, too. Finally,
we walked into the room where we were supposed to go to watch the movie. The movie was
boring. The angels were nothing like the real Angels. Then bang! It wasn’t the movie,
because it was right when the two angels were going to kiss. Everyone started freaking. I
ran to the door, but found it was locked. I ran to the top of the seats. Then heard Ben
scream for my name. I didn’t listen to him. I reached the top, and ducked and got
changed. Then I saw the Evil. She cut the screen, and flew out. She didn’t notice me,
but I knew she knew that I was there. I flew after her, and pushed her. She knew I was
going to do that, but I didn’t care. She didn’t move.
	“Hello, Angel,” she said in an evil voice.
	“Hello, Evil,” I said, and then I noticed my voice changed, too. Then she caught me
off guard. She threw the bomb spell at me. I flew to the ground. I landed on the ground
hard, and worst than that my wing couldn’t move. That didn’t stop me though. I grabbed
my cell phone, and hit the wing button. I heard them come, and so did Evil, because she
disappeared. My Angel friends came. Eva saw me first and flew down.
	“OMG!” said Eva. “Guys look over here!”
	“Oh no! Are you OK?” asked Violet. They helped me up, and then we asked everyone to
move out of the door way. We combined our power and blasted the bomb spell, and the door
opened. Everyone ran out of there. The last person was Ben. I would, have to catch up with
him. I said bye to my Angel friends, and changed, and ran out of there looking for Ben.
Finally, I found him walking out the front doors. I ran after him
	“Ben!!” I yelled. He turned around and saw me.
	“Where were you?”
	“Looking for you,” I lied.
	“Oh. Well, do you want to go out for ice cream since our movie got ruined?”
	“Sure,” I said while we walked down the street. It was really, hard to walk, because
I had a battle, and I almost lost! Plus, I hurt myself really bad. I started to silent
punish me, but then I got pulled away, and almost hit five people! 
	“What?” I said to Ben, because he pulled me away.
	“We are here, and I was trying got tell you that, but you kept talking. Finally I
dragged you in here.”
	“Oh,” I said while blushing. I looked at all the flavors, and decided on Angel
Strawberry. We had an ice cream that was called the same thing, and I was hoping it would
taste the same, because I missed home. The guy handed me my ice cream, and Ben paid for
the two cones we got. He sat down right by the window. I sat on the other chair, and
licked my ice cream. Figures I thought! It tasted nothing like I thought it would taste
like. Anyways, I learned a lot about Ben. He seemed like a nice guy. 
	“One thing that I do wish I could change is that I would be at my old school still,”
said Ben, and hten noticed the time. 
	“Sorry, but I have to go!” I said while out of the door, and all the way back to my
house
	“Where have you been?” asked my new mom. I had even made up a nickname for her…NM.
Plus, the man was ND.
	“Oh, just out for ice cream with some friends,” I lied.
	“It is eight pm!” said ND. “Yu are ground for a week.” Right…I was suppose to
be home at 6:30 pm.
	“That means you only go to school, and then come right back,” said NM. Wait! Then how
was I supposed to fight off the Evil? I went to bed right after they told me that. I
dialed Mrs. Angel through, because I needed a lot of help. 
	“I know! You just need to sneak out of the house. They will be watching TV anyways, so
it doesn’t really matter,” said Mrs. Angel. I hung up. So that means they were
watching me, and she knew why I called. I fell asleep really fast, but woke up in the
middle of the night only to see the sky red as a bomb. Great I though. This time without
changing I said the magic words, Angel Power. Yes! It worked. I was in my costume, and
already flying through the night. I followed where the color red was the brightest. This
time Evil wasn’t there, but people was hurt really bad. I started to get help. Then I
went back home realizing that she was up to something. Next day was so boring! I mean now
can you go through school, witching dance, and stuff to do! This time after school Ben
asked me if I wanted to go to his house. I said I couldn’t go, because I was grounded.
He thought of a good idea, though. I would tell NM and ND that I was going to a friend’s
house to study and do homework. Once I told them that they were with it. We walked to
Ben’s house, and no one was home. He said he was always home alone. I put down my
backpack right by the door. I followed Ben into the living room. It was huge! It even had
a flat screen TV. “So,” said Ben while sitting down on the couch. I sat down, too.
	‘Don’t know,” I said.
	“Me either,” he said, and then he leaned toward me, and kissed me. My cell ran. It
was Mrs. Angel. I told Ben I had to go to the bathroom.
	“Nat! What are you doing?” asked Mrs. Angel. Oh no! She was ready to kick me out of
the sky, because she knew I was dating a human.
	“Just fitting in,” I said.
	“Oh, well, nice job with it,” said Mrs. Angel and hung up. I opened the door, and
found Ben standing right there. Then he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall, and we
made out. It was amazing! I mean back up in the sky I made out before, but it wasn’t as
well…let’s just say open mouth and touchy. Anyways, we made out for ten minutes, and
then we did our homework.
	“So if 2x4+3 is 11 then how many kisses do I get now?” Ben asked.
	“None,” I said while pushing him back away from my face.

24 June 2009, 03:08 AM   #8
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
that was aswome!i love it when you mix action and romance at the same time, so its like
completed and just perfect!!!!!

24 June 2009, 06:11 AM   #9
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Thanks, and I like this style, too.

24 June 2009, 10:17 PM   #10
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
no prob and yea its aswome!

25 June 2009, 07:30 PM   #11
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Yeah, I probably should be writing more...

26 June 2009, 03:04 AM   #12
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
uhh no durr!lolz!sorry sorry no pressure....

29 June 2009, 03:28 PM   #13
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
No pressure is here at all.

I just don't know how to make this story long.

29 June 2009, 03:33 PM   #14
Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 160
ok im stilll here to help!

29 June 2009, 08:46 PM    #15
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Here is more of the story:

          “Why not?”
	“We, have to finish!”
	“You’re boring.”
	“Funny, then how can you like me?
	“Because I do.” Then before I could push him away he kissed me on the lips, opened
mouth, too. Finally, I went home before dark, and had finished all of my homework, too. It
wasn’t easy when a totally hot boy was kissing you. I got home at 4:00 pm to find
another note on the table:
	Nat-
	No one in! Be careful!
	-Mom
	Huh? Oh right! The Evil. I guess the news sent that message out. Then boom! It was right
over my head. I looked up, and sure enough the Evil was there looking down on ME! It was
pretty scary because 1) I didn’t have my Angel costume on and 2) she looked pretty mad.
Well, mad doesn’t even explain it! She looked more like pissed. Plus, there was this big
hole in the ceiling! How was I going to explain that to NM and ND?
	“Angel Power,” I said, and no costume. Huh?
	“Angel! Are you looking for this?” asked the Evil while holding up my Angel costume.
I didn’t have to say anything, because she took off flying. I couldn’t run after her,
so I did a spell. The I-Am-No-Angel-But-I-Need-Wings-To-Save-Earth, and then nothing.  

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