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Activity Number Three


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30 January 2010, 07:22 PM   #1
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Welcome to... Activity Number Three!! :D First, I will tell you what these Activities are suppose to be about, and then I will give you Activity Number Three.
About Activities: These Activities that I will post are suppose to help you with writing, make you not have writers block, and make you not feel as bored. These are just little things that you could do or not. I have not done this activity, but I think it will help us.

Activity Number Three: Steps: 1. Open one of your short stories. Try to find one that is done. It will be much easier, but yet you can do one that isn't finished.j 2. Reread the story. 3. Think of stuff that you could add. It may be as little as saying what the person is wearing or as big as another scene. 4. Add those stuff to your story!! 5. Reread the story to see if it still makes sense. If it does you accomplished your task, if it doesn't add more detail into it.

What does this activity do? It helps you adding stuff, so it makes the story better. I have never done that, but I should do it with The Worst Summer. Yet, I have no clue on what to add. I hope Activity Number Three helps you!! :D

30 January 2010, 11:48 PM   #2
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 32
Very interesting.

31 January 2010, 01:28 AM   #3
Joined: 31 Dec 2009
Posts: 4
HMMMM ill have to try it sometime

1 February 2010, 09:12 PM    #4
Joined: 9 Jun 2008
Posts: 669
Here is an example:

Old Way --
“Why, hello Mr.” said the lady that lived there. “Hi, I am Mr. Smell, your next door neighbor, and this is my daughter Lacey.” “Well, come in and meet my family!” she sounded real happy. Great I thought. “Boys you get down here or no winter jackets for you!” she yelled up the stairs. Yes, I thought they were from a warm state! I can’t believe it I hadn’t notice it before. The lady had a nice tan, and I looked at the coats and they were thin! They were going to be gone in no time. Then I heard two people ran down the stairs. “Oh and by the way I am Mrs. Flowers,” said our new next door neighbor. “So what is the big surprise?” asked the man. “Henry this is Mr. Smell, and his daughter Lacey.” God, how I hate my last name, and first name, it is so stupid. Then a boy about my age walked in the room. “Mom if I have to come down I will, but I have a lot of unpacking to do.” “Well, put that aside.” And the next thing I knew I had to take the next door boy (Tommy) to the ski lodge with me. Great know what Nikkie is going to think? When I got there I saw Nikkie right away, and walked up to her.
New Way --
“Why, hello Mr.” said the lady that lived there. “Hi, I am Mr. Smell, your next door neighbor, and this is my daughter Lacey.” “Well, come in and meet my family!” she sounded real happy. Great I thought. “Boys you get down here or no winter jackets for you!” she yelled up the stairs. Yes, I thought they were from a warm state! I can’t believe it I hadn’t notice it before. The lady had a nice tan. I noticed the coats and REALLY looked at them. They were as thin as can be. They were going to be gone in no time. Then I heard two people ran down the stairs. “Oh and by the way I am Mrs. Flowers,” said our new next door neighbor. “So what is the big surprise?” asked the man. “Henry this is Mr. Smell, and his daughter Lacey.” God, how I hate my last name, and first name, it is so stupid. Then a boy about my age walked in the room. “Mom if I have to come down I will, but I have a lot of unpacking to do.” “Well, put that aside.” "Why?" asked the boy. "Tommy this is Mr. Smell and his daughter Lacey. They are our next door neighbors," said Mrs. Flowers. I started to day dream. I heard my dad and the Flowers talking. Me and Tommy were just kind of standing there. "Lacey, you wouldn't mind if Tommy goes with you to go skiing?" asked my dad. What could I say? I wanted to say no, but in front of the parents it would look bad. Instead I put on my best smile. "No, dad it will be my pleasure," I said. And okay, I think I went a little too far, but it worked. Now what would Nikkie think?
Taken from my story, The Worst Summer. If it is bold that means its where I changed somethings around...ect. Which one do you think is better?



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