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College Application Essay

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8 August 2011, 10:38 AM    #1
Joined: 21 Apr 2010
Posts: 26
Because I've been inactive, I decided to post my unfinished essay for a college
application. Please feel free to criticize it and I'll check out what you mean.

Here's the theme/subject we've been given:

"Are there any significant experiences you have had, or accomplishments you have realized, that have helped define you as a person?"
Personally, I'm not surprised by the subject matter. What caught my attention was the way they phrased it. Experiences that define me as a person is difficult to condense into an essay, and that's where I decided my introduction should start. The key moments of a person’s life help define him as a whole. There are many of these said experiences, and condensing it into a reasonable length is like learning a whole year’s worth of science lessons within a day – near impossible. However, picking the select few that give the person the best idea of who I am, that, I guess, is possible. If we start off in chronological order, memories from childhood would be appropriate as the first. Not so young that the memories are indistinct, but young enough that my ignorance of how the world worked was tangible enough. A lot of my remembered experiences from childhood centered on awards for general academic excellence and bullying. The first I don’t remember the actual process of attaining – I just remember that the lessons were easy enough to understand and that the teachers didn’t demand too much from us. The latter though, I remember with vivid clarity. I think the bullying helped though. Sometimes, we need to be accept that we are different, and that society is going to reject that simply because of that fact. Sometimes, a little thick skin is needed if you know what you’re doing is right. I guess that though they may not have been the happiest of times, it strengthened me emotionally. Now, I know that bullying would never be right because I understand what it’s like to be in the shoes of the victim. Work in progress. Hope you enjoyed reading it. ♥

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