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18 July 2009, 08:59 AM   #1
Guest Poster
Last edited by karolinacake, 18 July 2009
I'm sorry I can't think of an interesting title ;_;
Yeah but this here is old picture kind of in the process of being redone.
Photobucket
The one on the left is the original, which I drew on paper and colored with prisma colored
pencils,
and the one on the right is my newer version which I'm currently doing in photoshop.
This is also one of the first pictures I didn't use any refs with, which is why
I'm having so much trouble. 
Anyways, I posted this a while ago on 4chan's 
artwork & critique board and I got some helpful advice
but alas I can't really remember a lot of it D:
So yeah, critique away! I know there's a lot of stuff wrong with the 
stomach and she just seems to be like floating in air, 
but I don't really know how to fix it : <
Also help with making a background would be really appreciated too.

Man, the face also really bothers me.

18 July 2009, 10:51 AM   #2
Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Posts: 112
I think it's amazing. I'd feel bad to give critic on such great artwork.
I really love the hair and the pose. Although I found the left thigh a bit thick. 
I wish I had a figure as pretty as hers. o3o
To love and be loved
To the point of going mad
The sweet and burning kiss is
IMITATION
Senses numbing
Consciousness fading away
The overflowing emotions and
Reality
Are painted over in black
-IMITATION BLACK

18 July 2009, 11:05 AM   #3
Guest Poster
Ahh thank you~
And don't feel bad, it's really not even that great, haha
Plus I really want some harsh critique >:D

ooh, yeah I see what you mean.
It's pretty short and squat. I think maybe if I lengthen out the legs,
I'll be able to fix that. :o

and yeah, me too dude.
I wish I had some nice curvezzz : <

18 July 2009, 12:50 PM   #4
Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Posts: 112
Psh, I can't be harsh, cuz it's too damn awesome already.

The anatomy is really good, so if you made the thigh just a tad bit thinner, she'd look
sexier. XD

... *is flat and fat*
To love and be loved
To the point of going mad
The sweet and burning kiss is
IMITATION
Senses numbing
Consciousness fading away
The overflowing emotions and
Reality
Are painted over in black
-IMITATION BLACK

18 July 2009, 01:18 PM   #5
Joined: 18 Jul 2009
Posts: 14
One of the only things I found was her neck seems to be a bit.. long? I'm not sure to
call it craned out a bit to much, or long. 
But any who.. that's it.

Your shading in phenamenal and the pose is great! I love the way you draw!

*A* I want curves too man.

18 July 2009, 09:09 PM   #6
The Founder
Joined: 10 Jul 2009
Posts: 124
Mah... I've took your drawing, put a layer on top of it and tried my best to see where
dark tones should be added. I'm not an expert at things like that, but I have to question
where the light is coming from. o.o

Anyways I did a red line.. not really red lines but kind of shaded over some areas... 

I think you should determine where the light is coming from and then use brown (or a
darker shade) to define it. 

I don't know if she is lying on the ground or whatever, but I imagined that the light
source is (assuming that the perspective has her lying on the ground) above and from the
top right corner, and I shaded accordingly. 



I'll point things out from top to bottom. 

1. Her shin area would be much darker because seeing how the knee has a curve, her leg is
bent. So when things are bent, it casts a shadow over head, so it would be shaded
darker... however, her leg is only slightly bent so it would gradually blend from dark to
light once it hits her foot.

2. Her right foot however is completely bent and hidden from view, so I think that it
would be completely shaded because of the shadow her leg casts. However, near the end of
her toes it should be blended to light because the light source come from the top right
corner (and above of course.)

3. Her right thigh overlaps her left thigh. And while you shaded over there, it didn't
really define it boldly. So you should shade right along the lines where the right thigh
overlaps the left, also don't forget to shade /lightly/ the right thigh. Thighs are round
so it naturally does have that faint curve shadow even in light. 

4. I'm thinking that the thighs are slightly elevated so you should shade the tone around
her crotch much darker. As well don't forget to boldly darken the inside of her thighs. If
the light comes from where I imagined it to come from, then it's impossible for any light
to be shed there (as well thighs are round). 

5. Her sides should be shaded a bit darker as well, especially her left side since again,
light would be unable to hit that side. Also faintly shade in her right side since you
can't forget there are shadows there that can't really be erased away by light. 

6. Women are curvy, therefore they do have shadows when things are round, like the thighs,
waist, etc. You've shaded the part underneath her chest, but it's not as dark as I thought
it could be. Also because of the cleavage, very little light could be shown there, so it
should be shaded with a darker color. 

7. And the parts that I have outlines around her neck, arms, and head are just ideas of
where you should shade. 



...It all depends on where the light comes from. I'm seeing her undergarments and it has a
shine from the bottom left, but when I look at her neck and feet, it says otherwise. >.o I
think the only advice I can give you is to determine where the light is and be more bold
when using color. Don't be afraid to use brown to define and darken places where no light
hits. 

I really like how anatomically correct this piece is and how proportioned it is. :D An
idea of a background could be a lounge chair in a suite... 

If not, she could be swimming? xD; Oh wells...


Oh yes, and her hair could use a darker tone... 





And I'll wait until someone who is an expert at shading and stuff comes to kick me about
my nonsensical and uneducated critique. :D;

19 July 2009, 02:50 AM    #7
Guest Poster
Oh crap, thanks everyone,
especially kyun DDDDD:
(That was soo long! ahaha)

lolly and mesi: hmm, okay, I'll try to fix that!
If I have time tommorrow, then I'm gonna start working  
on this again and post my progress :3

kyun: Thank you so much sfoasdhfksdfhj oh jesus D:
I'm gonna have to reread this later because there's just 
so much ahahah. 
And man, yeah I have a ton of problem with like lighting
so thanks for the help. I think I'll try to fix everything
soon, so then you can tell me if I did it right.
And like a lot of people have told me to use better colors
and stuff but like I think I'm just really scared or something.
Thanks for the redline too! 
and a longue chair seems pretty interesting, I might do something 
like that, even though she's supposed to be wearing a bathing suit.
But I think I might change it. :s
I just feel like I really need to get a background started so that
it'll like help a bit with the lighting and everything.



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