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WRITING: Fiction: Amanda's & My Spontaneous Story

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9 June 2009, 06:24 PM   #1
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
Last edited by Oroborus21, 9 June 2009
So Amanda/mextreehugger and me started messaging and making up a story and this is how
much we have done so far. Not a lot but it was in messages so what can you expect. With
her permission im sharing it here. We will either continue it here or if we continue it in
messages post our creation here. Im posting here our messages as copied without the
timepart (this began a couple of weeks ago) and i have "re cut" our messages so that the
story can be read down the page..I have left our names so you see who has contributed what
part. We might change the one of the character's names since Manduh doesnt like it and i
have bracketed a few parts that were sort of interspersals during our messages.

..........enjoy.....feedback is welcome.......


teehee (:

let's make a story . (: I'll start .

Once upon a time lived a fair little milkmaid .


lol...........me so hungry cant think of spontaneous fairy tales right now.......

who was known for having the smallest jugs in the county  

damn (:
well finish it when yer done .

But still , she waited for someone who cared for her to find her . 

Oroborus21 wrote:

one day a group of traveling gypsies came along the road, the old gypsy chief
approached the maiden who was tending her cows in the pasture and with hat in hand
he asked if it would be ok if he and his troop could camp out on the far end of the
pasture at the edge of where the woods began...he said they would only stay a few
nights but a special magical night of the occulted moon was approaching and they
must camp somewhere to have a feast and some rituals..

the maiden wasnt sure at first because she had heard the rumors of gypsies being
thieves and strange people but the chief and his old wife and the many other people,
even though strange looking and rough seemed kind enough, so she agreed to let them
camp in her pasture

Oroborus21 wrote:

in gratitude the gypsy chief invited the lass to come to their feast that night and
to join in their celebration, she thought for a moment, her life usually so routine
and dreary, she was glad to accept it even though she was a bit nervous...some of
the darker men had a hungry look about them which they barely concealed when they
stole glances at her slender figure


The traveling gypsies set up camp a few feet from the maiden's small home . They
promised to keep the racket down as she went inside to tidy up her home . She took
out her long brown braids and changed into her nightgown, blowing out the candle for

Outside , the gypsies burned a fire, and began a tale  

 Oroborus21 wrote:
loll sorry i added the invitation after i sent this lol

haha it's okay ... 


That night , the maiden did up her usual hair in pigtail braids and her cotton dress
she felt so close to . She trembled a bit as she walked to their camp , the men
yelling at her to hurry . The chief bowed to her . "Hello little one."

Oroborus21 wrote:

lol we got to get on the same page baby 

lmao right ...

you start over . 


the gypsies fire burned high . they danced and played music that was enchanting but
odd. the chief would drink from an old bottle and spit into the fire and when he did
it would take on a mysterious green color for a moment, the maiden watched from her
window and wondered whether she really should go to the feast, she decided to pull
on her long overcoat and go join her guests.

very timidly she stepped outside and walked around the outer wagons and stepped into
the light. almost immediately the music stopped abruptly and the band all froze and
looked at the stranger in their midst. the chief motioned a welcoming to her and a
little girl came and took her hand and led her to a smaller fire where a number of
the gypsies were sitting around and where she was made to sit on a soft blanket and
pillow and offered diferent strange dishes of candied  and dried fruit and salted
and savory things too. the little girl brought her a glass of warm cider which
tasted delicious with just a touch of ginger and cinnamon.

the chief's wife wandered over after a while and sat herself in front of the
maiden...she asked if she could read her palm and said that she could sense that the
maiden was longing for something...

The maiden tilted her head but agreed to it, in her silent way.
The wife clutched her wrist in a motion that made the maiden tremble. The old woman
mumbled some words and traced along her palm, following lines the light eyed girl
could barely see in the dim light of the fire . The crowd around her went silent.

"You have an off future ahead of you , young one... I can tell that there is
something you want... someone..."

A few men from the camp leaned in, eager to hear the prophecy of the man who would
get this young woman.


lol....do you want to make this an adventure story or do you want turn it into a
raunchy gangbang 

i was going for romantic adventure....there may or may not be sex later  


I like romantic adventure . (:

& okay , Let's just go on your new thing okay ?! xD


she was hesitant to let the old woman read her palm, she never believed in such
things like fortunetelling and magic but the woman seemed so sincere and kind, she
placed her delicate hand in the lady's

the old woman unfolded the maiden's hand in her lap. the gypsy's hands were rough
and callused and looked like monstrousities next to the delicate slender finger's
ofthe maidens, whose hands, though she worked hard every day, were never callused by
her milkbuckets or all the manual chores that she had to do but where as soft and
pale as the day she was born..

the gypsy spent a long time bent over the maiden's hand studying it with her
fingers, her hawknose sometimes coming very close to the girl's palm...then she she
rolled back her eyes and murmured some things under her breath like if she was
praying or reciting some incantation..

after a long while she released the maidens hand and held her self and didnt speak a

the little girl came to her great grandmother as if to see what was wrong but the
old lady shewed her away..

then she looked at the maiden with piercing gray eyes....and said

"miss, you have been alone since your father died 2 years ago almost this very day
is that not right?"

"why how did you know that?", the maid asked startled

"i know that your heart is very lonely but i have good and yet...terrible news for
you....and I am afraid to tell you."

"please grandmother," the maiden addressed her respectfully that way, "do tell me. I
know that i seem delicate and am tender in years but i dare say that I have a
strength and courage when I am in need of them."

"well you said that," said the gypsy, "for you will need courage if you are to reach
your heart's desire"

after a pause the gypsy took the maiden's hand again.

"I know that you seek your true love and someone who will cherish you and be your
companion. It may fill your heart with joy to know that he does live and he is
waiting for you. but..."  she stopped speaking.

"but? what? tell me please."

"to find him you will have to go there." The old woman pointed at the edge of the
dark tangled woods which bordered the far edge of the pasture. It was the edge of a
wild wood that stretched over a great distance and ran over the mountains and one
that even the boldest of hunters seemed to avoid. The townspeople whispered rumors
of dark things that lived there supposedly but the maiden never gave ear to such
wild and superstitious rumors.

"tomorrow night, at the New Moon, you must enter the woods, with nothing but a
candle and your courage and seek out your true love, if you are truth and faithful
and desire to meet him with all your heart, you will find him"

The maiden pulled her hand towards her chest, cradling herself as comfort. "Thank
you, ma'am..."

She scanned her blue eyes over the crowd, taking in the seriousness of their faces
as proof of the old lady's legitimacy. Then one man from the middle said , "Good
luck, Winter girl,"

With his addition , the rest of the men joined in .

The maiden still felt unsure of how high her chances of coming out were, but inside
she went. She slept for the night, not even taking out her braids, for she knew she
should be on the trail as early as possible .

When the sun rose in the early morning, sky still red, the chestnut haired maiden
left for the forest.

"Good luck!" the little girl yelled after her .

Luck had nothing to do with it.


she spent all day wandering deeper and deeper into the strange woods which grew
denser and more foresty as she went along, even though it was midday by the time she
stopped to rest a while by a little bubbling brook the canopy of trees was so thick
that the forest floor was dark. at first the maid had been scared to enter the woods
but now as she sat in the forest, wondering when she might meet her love she found
her courage...she had nothing to eat but she wasnt hungry.

after a while she found a patch of soft grass where the sun shown through the canopy
and she felt her self tired and layed down makng a little pillow with her coat...

when she awoke it was very dark, the sun had gone down....she lit her little
candle...the woods were very quiet....as she realized they had been all along.
strange that it seemed nary an animal lived here only now and then she heard a
slight rustling or breakin gof a twig in the distance somewhere...

even though it was very dark there being no moonlight to help her..she continued
walking as the gypsy had said she must walk until midnight....


The maiden followed the only star she saw in the sky, so dim one might not even
catch it was there.

"where?" she whispered for only her to hear.

not even the silent hum of the grasshoppers reached her ears. She bit her lip and
mumbled a small song to keep her mind busy. A tune her papa used to sing to her when
she was oh so small.

within moments of the start of her song, another sound rippled through the air . It
was a slice , a slice of the trees . The maiden widened her eyes and began running .
She tripped over the roots dug deep in the forest floor , but upon trying to get up
found she could not . The candle slipped out of her hand and extinguished. The night
was dark as the roots started pulling her in .

" pas maintenant, quand je suis tellement près ! " she cried out in despair.

Her lips and her body and her eyes trembled with fear, as she clawed at the dark
forest floor .


Dante knew something was different that night. Each night as he had done for many
years now he would sit on top of his favourite perch on a bluff that overlooked the
dark forest and watch the stars come alive. But that night he sensed something
different than he had ever experienced. Something like a longing filled him and he
knew someone had entered the forest and was nearing closer. A girl he knew it now.
She felt strong but not complete in some way and now he felt a sudden rush of
emotion like fear, an emotion he rarely felt. He had to go to her she was in
trouble. He lept from the cliff top and landed like a cat on the treetops a hundred
feet below, he sprang across the tops of them and sank into the darkness sprinting
with all his might


The young girl couldn't stop the tears from coming . It was not the sting of the
roots tearing at her skin , not the pain of the earth squeezing her slight frame ,
none of the physical hurt bothered her . It was the fact that she was so close ; she
knew it too , she could feel his heart beating...

She whispered a prayer for the love of her dreams , or rather , the love of her
future .

A crack drew her attention to the present , to her ribs more specifically . Still ,
the tears that fell from her face were of the life she could never live... vivent
vie tandis que vous pouvez , her papa always said . she hadn't...

Dante's footsteps echoed behind him as he was ten steps ahead, his speed growing
quicker as her pulse grew slower .


As Dante saw where she was fallen he stopped. He approached her cautiously until was
kneeling down beside her. He sat there a long while holding her hand and whispering
over her. She seemed dazed. He could hear HER HEARTBEAT pounding in his ears it was
racing but gradually it slowed down and beat normally. To his astonishment he felt
like her heart was beating in synch with his own. He looked down and lifted her up
so that she was sitting. She was mute as she gazed with large beautiful eyes. Boldly
she reached up and brushed his long hair from out of his face so she could look at
him. He felt completely natural when she did that as though they had been long close

He looked angelic to her. There was a crack and he cocked his head. His face grew
dark his teeth flashed.

"Who sent you?, Dante demanded to know roughly.

"What? No one." she said startled.

"You lie! Who sent you?" Dante gripped her firmly.

"No one sent me," she started to tear up, she didnt understand why his countenance
had changed so suddenly.

Instantly the forest lit up with torches all around, the maiden was startled to see
the band of gypsies encircling them, some of the men had silver knives which glinted
in the torchlight. the chief and his wife were there too and to her astonishment the
little girl stepped between them and came forward. she pointed a finger at Dante and

"at last! we have finally caught you, you horrible monster!  this night you will die
for the death of my mother, the gypsy queen who died heartbroken and whispering your
name. seize him!" the little girl commanded.

The men quickly rushed in and threw binding ropes around Dante who didnt resist or
say a word.

The girl , only a milk maiden yesterday , now panicked in confusion . "This is a
misunderstanding !" she tried to yell , but as usual her voice came out as only a
whisper. Years of silence had made her vulnerable voice fade with the seasons

The men and harsh looking women grabbed at Dante and pulled him away . His face lost
all emotion but one , the pain of losing . Losing what he had finally found , after
decades of solitude . But , remorseful and wronged , he let the lowly savages pull
him into the darkness of the night .


(to be continuted)

9 June 2009, 06:57 PM   #2
Joined: 21 Mar 2009
Posts: 22
Das'wassup Yer parts are so much better than mine haha , better detail , and don't try to argue with me .
x Each night I wish upon a star I'll run and run , oh so far . To get away from this normal place To hide the pain of your taken face . x </3

9 June 2009, 07:17 PM   #3
Joined: 11 Mar 2009
Posts: 212
well I wasnt chatting on AIM with my friends at the same time unlike you 

10 June 2009, 06:30 PM    #4
Joined: 21 Mar 2009
Posts: 22
Teehee ;D How diidd you know ?
x Each night I wish upon a star I'll run and run , oh so far . To get away from this normal place To hide the pain of your taken face . x </3

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