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Funny Joke!!!!



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3 February 2008, 12:25 AM   #1
Guest Poster
A Blonde Goes On Who Wants To Be A Millionaire
Regis: "Barbara, you've done very well so far - $500,000 and one lifeline left -- phone a
friend. 

The next question will give you the top prize of One Million dollars if you get it right
... but if you get it wrong you will drop back to $32,000 -- are you ready?"

Barbara: "Sure, I'll have a go!"

Regis: "Which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? 

Is it........

A-Robin 

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush

Remember Barbara its worth 1 Million dollars."

"I think I know who it..but I'm not 100%... 

No, I haven't got a clue. I'd like to phone a friend Regis, just to be sure.

Regis: "Yes, who, Barbara, do you want to phone?

Barbara: "I'll phone my friend Maggie back home in Birmingham."

(ringing)

Maggie (also a blonde): "Hello..."

Regis: "Hello Maggie, its Regis here from Who Wants to be a Millionaire-I have Barbara
here and she is doing really well on $500,000, but needs your help to be a Million. 

The next voice you hear will be Barbara's and she'll read you the question. 

There are 4 possible answers and 1 correct answer and you have 30 seconds to answer --
fire away Barbara."

Barbara: "Maggie, which of the following birds does not build it's own nest? Is it:

A-Robin

B-Sparrow

C-Cuckoo

D-Thrush"

Maggie: "Oh Gees, Barbara that's simple.....It's a Cuckoo."

Barbara: "You think?"

Maggie: "I'm sure."

Barbara: " Thanks Maggie." (hangs up)

Regis: "Well, do you want to stick on $500,000 or play on for the Million, Barbara?"

Barbara: "I want to play, I'll go with C-Cuckoo"

Regis: "Is that your final answer?"

Barbara: "It is."

Regis: "Are you confident?"

Barbara: "Yes fairly, Maggie's a sound bet."

Regis: "Barbara.....you had $500,000 and you said C-Cuckoo ...you're right! - You have
just won ONE MILLION DOLLARS. 

Here is your check. You have been a great contestant and a real gambler. Audience please
put your hands together for Barbara."

(clapping)

That night Barbara calls round to Maggie and brings her down to a local bar for a
celebration drink and, as they are sipping their Champagne, Barbara turns to Maggie and
asks "Tell me Maggie, How in God's name did you know that it was the Cuckoo that does not
build its own nest?

Maggie: "Listen Barbara, everybody knows that a Cuckoo lives in a clock." 











add more jokes!!!!!

3 February 2008, 02:23 AM   #2
The Founder
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 111
LOL That was amazing XD

Mine are kinda sick ._. so um, beware


How do you know who the poorest person in mexico?


-You roll a penny down the street and see who chases it

How do you know who the riches person in mexico is?

-The one who got the penny

------------------------


What did god say when he made the first black person?

-Oh shit, I burnt it.

-----------------------

So, there's a treasure Chest in the middle and at four corners...

there's santa clause

the easter bunny

the tooth fairy

and a smart black man

Who reaches the treasure chest first?

NONE because they don't exsist.

--------------------


How do you kill a submarine full of blonds?

- you knock on the door

-----------------

Alright, so this European profesor goes to an African Tribe to educate them.

Then, the tribal chief's wife had a white baby.


The Chief then goes to the white profesor and says...

"I'm no Dumdum, but I Don't need education to know what happened here. I don't think
we'lll need you anymore."

In panic the white profesor tries to explain to the Chief about -albino ism-


"Wel.l..Chief... Do you see that black sheep amist all the white ones? That is like the
white baby in all of the black babies."


Chief " I promise not to tell anyone about the baby if you don't tell anyone about the
sheep."


----------------------------------

A Spanish man, a Cuban man and an American man were on a ship.

The ship started to sink because it was too heavy so the men had to throw things off.

The Spanish man threw off the tequilas because "He had so many at home"

The Cuban man threw off cuban cigars because " He had so many at home"

The American threw off a chinese man because "He had so many at home"
-----------------------------
10 Blondes 1 Brunette



Problem: There are 10 blondes and 1 brunette that were hanging onto a rope that was tied
to an airplane. They know that one of them will have to let go because the weight of all
11 of them would tear the rope and they would all die, so they argue back and forth for a
few minutes till finally the brunette says she will let go.

But first she explained why she was doing it and said good-bye to all the blondes, in an
emoitional type of way.

All the blondes were so touched that they started clapping.

Problem solved.
-----------------------------------------
A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar, they go to the bartender and ask if
there is anything cool or amazing about this place. He answers, " well the mirror in the
girls bathroom is magical, if you look into it and tell something true it will give you a
hundred thousand dollars, but if you tell it a lie you will die. " The three ladies are
amazed, and decide to go one at a time in front of the mirror. First the red head goes and
she says " I think I am the sexiest woman alive." Then out of nowhere a briefcase appears
with a hundred thousand dollars, she picks it up and leaves the other two so she can spend
it. The brunette walks to the mirror and says " I think I am the most beautiful woman in
the world." The money appears and then she leaves. Then the blonde goes ot the mirror very
excited that she will get a hundred thousand dollars and says, " I think......"

She dropped dead on the spot. 
----------------------------------------
One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck.

The truck's driver made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car.

He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the
middle and not leave the circle.

Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires.

The blonde started laughing.

This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield.

This time the blonde laughed even harder.

Livid, the man broke all her windows and keyed her car.

The blonde is now laughing hysterically, so the truck driver asks her what's so funny.

The blonde giggles and replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle
three times!"
------------------------------------
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry
herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state
trooper arrived.
"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an
elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked
car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began." I was driving along this road
when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and
there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the
right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."
"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30
miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."
----
Why did the tomatoe blush?

He saw the salad dressing.

------
Whats a pirates favourite letter?

ARRRRR (r) 

------

This one is true and from the man who made the jokes, my grandpa.

He named his dog Pewter, because whenever he called it he yelled, "Computer!!"

------
--------------------------------------------

I love bowling

big black ball knocks down all of the white fucking red necks

I hate pool

a white ball knocks all the coloured balls into holes, leaving the black for last.

-------------------------------------------

If u were a booger, I'd pick u first! :D

-------------------------------------------
(this one is dirty)
Lets do some math! Add the bed, subtract the cloths, divide the legs and let's multiply!


-----------------------------------

confucius time!

confucius say...when man ran behind car...he get exhausted

confucius say... when man ran in front of car...he get tired!




yahhhh

---

3 February 2008, 04:20 PM   #3
Guest Poster
LOLZ Funny 

3 February 2008, 07:24 PM   #4
Guest Poster
haha lolz funneh xD

3 February 2008, 07:44 PM   #5
Guest Poster
funny funny

4 February 2008, 12:09 AM   #6
The Founder
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 111
XD I need directions 

-map quest~!-

4 February 2008, 12:19 AM   #7
Guest Poster
I have a mind trick:
Okay, so you have to figure out which one of these is the truth~

The statement below is true.
--------------------------------------
The statement above is false.

4 February 2008, 12:22 AM   #8
The Founder
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 111
WUT WUT -head hurts-

THE LINE IS WIN O____O!

18 February 2008, 03:57 PM   #9
Wupa !
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 10
nother joke... 

a brunette and a red head went to a cheap hotel. when they went in there was a blond
hooker on the bed...

Brunette: the key is to stay still and she wont notice us.

red head: but were standing right in front of her O_o....

brunette: believe me this will work....

they stay still for a few seconds. 

blond hooker: were did they go?
-Daley Bennett

19 February 2008, 08:43 PM   #10
The Founder
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 111
lol xDDD !

19 February 2008, 08:48 PM   #11
Guest Poster
-Has just read the first one- 
ROLF XD

24 February 2008, 06:34 PM   #12
Wupa !
Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 10
gaspeth another joke.......

there was a blond who made street sign foe a company she worked at... 

her manager told her to make a sign to out on a road not to far from were they were that a
bridge was out ahead

so this blond makes a sign and it says in big bold letters at the top  this sign has
sharp edges. do not touch the edges of this sign [b/]
 

then in small print way at the bottom of the sign she wrights also, the bridge is out
ahead.
-Daley Bennett

4 April 2008, 11:59 PM   #13
Xi upa!
Joined: 4 Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Nice :3

A lot of the jokes were really funny

25 April 2008, 09:12 PM   #14
The Founder
Joined: 29 Jan 2008
Posts: 111
XD LOL

Sharp edges are very very scary! I'd watch out if I were you xD you might get a nasty cut!

16 May 2008, 11:38 PM    #15
Guest Poster
Ha! Those were all so halarious! Some were kind o' mean, I must say, but still I laughed.
:D

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