Tuesday, 24 June 2014
04:26:51 AM (GMT)
I'm just sitting here listening to music. Today, a 8.0 earthquake struck off Alaska
and triggered a tsunami warning. I honestly believe the world is falling apart,
whether it be in terms that the Christians always recite from the bible or even the
new agers. Something is happening and something is going down. I don't want to waste
what time I left just sitting here doing nothing with my life. I want to come up with
a plan and live it to the best that I can.
I don't know why I am here on this earth. I don't know why I've made it so far. Even
beyond having cancer and almost dying a few times. I'm still here. I don't know if
there is a greater plan or not but I know that I chose to come here, I volunteered to
come and help this earth and I need to own up to it. Something big is upon the humans
of this earth and those that are here for a reason we know it. I need to work on my
mission for real, I need to help people and I need to stop living in a game world.
It's doing nothing for me. I am so anti social. I hate feeling things with people but
I can do that for a reason and I have to come to terms with it. It's... interesting
and scary all at the same time. I know that everyone that reads this will not
understand but I am special in some ways. It's hard to explain.
At the same time, I'm so tired. So so tired, of this earth, this atmosphere,
everything. I just want to go home. I want to stop living this fantasy earth life and
wake up where I belong. I feel some times like this whole life, this existance is
just a dream. Sure, I feel pain, I feel anger and I go through every other human
emotion. But there is always another part of me that thinks that none of this is real
and that it will all be over soon. "This too shall pass" I've always lived by that.
I've always held true to that. Even through my entire life, all the abuse I've lived
through and gone through, I always know there is something better waiting around the
corner. I'm just so tired of waiting now. I want it to be here. I want to be back
home with my real family.
Seriously, fuck this earth and all the pain and suffering. Why do humans have to hurt
each other so much. A 15 year old girl drowned in a pool here where I live a few days
ago, PEOPLE WERE IN THE POOL AND LET HER DROWN. Only when they saw that she was
floating face down did they try and rescue her. Like what the fuck, why would you
ever be ok with that and just let something like that go. How cold and heartless can
you be to not care about your fellow human. Even animals. That girl was 15 she was a
refugee from Africa where she lived a god aweful life there and she comes to the
states to seek freedom and happiness then she dies. Her brother who's care she was
left in was too busy watching a god damn game on TV instead of being out there
watching his sister. He must have known she had problems. It's likely she had a
seizure disorder and had one while swimming. But really.. I am astounded at how
people do not care about one another. I wish I didn't stay up so late, I wish I had
gone out there and went swimming. I would have saved her and she could still be here.
I hope I don't see her spirit. I don't think I'll be able to let go of that guilt if
I do. I know it's so stupid, but that's something that really really could have been
Three weeks ago, I rescued a kitten. No one would do anything about it. No animal
rescue agency, no firemen nothing. Nothing would help the tiny kitten. It was stuck
in a storm drain. I have the video on youtube too to prove all this. The local animal
rescue in that area wanted to charge my husband 150 JUST TO GET THE POOR KITTEN OUT.
Claiming that he had to pay his employees and that a animal life didn't really
matter. Like where the fuck do you get off??? You're there to HELP not charge a god
damn arm and a leg to get the kitten out. I had enough after all that shit and my
husband and I opened up the storm drain. The guy that heard the kitten earlier jumped
down get her and grabbed her after her handed her to me. The look on that kitty's
face and how greatful she was will stay with me for forever.
This is why I am here, to help ungreatful humans, to be a better person and to serve
as a example that you can do good (Among other things). It doesn't matter and fuck
what people think. They can't get off their asses to be better doesn't mean that you
have subject yourself to it in fear of whatever.
I'm done, I can't rant anymore.