Tuesday, 14 December 2010
04:11:07 AM (GMT)
We close our lockers and head for the nearest stairway. The walk is silent, well, at
least between us it is.
“So, how are you getting home?” I ask him.
“My parents are supposed to be picking me up. I’ll call them right now.” He
says, stopping over by the wall. I go and stand next to him. As he’s on the phone,
I watch the people who walk by. We have so many different people in this school;
it’s hard to keep up with most of the group sometimes.
“They totally forgot they had to pick me up.” Julian says to me and I look over
to him. “Do you think you could tae me home? That is, if you don’t already have
“Yeah, sure. It’s fine, I can.” I smile. “I need to take Alex home as
He tells his parents he’s found a ride, that it would be okay, and hangs up his
He follows me as I head outside to my car. It’s a small, black Toyota Corolla. I
find Alex leaning on the car.
“Hey.” I say hesitantly. I don’t know if he’s still mad at me. He nods his
head back at me.
I shrug and unlock the doors as I go over to the driver side and get in. Alex gets in
the front, while Julian gets in the back.
“Where do you want to go Alex?” I ask him as I start up the car.
“Home will be just fine.” He replied and then an air of silence overcame us, an
uncomfortable and suffocating one.
It only took five minutes for me to get there; he didn’t live far from the school.
He gets out the car and heads to the house.
“I’ll be right back.” I tell Julian as I get out the car to go to Alex.
“Alex.” I call softly, stopping to stand in front of him.
“What do you want?” He snaps and I wonder what’s gotten into him.
“I just wanted to tell you not to do anything stupid.”
“I’ve made my decision. You can’t change that, so don’t try.” He moves to
go around me and I stop him.
“And what decision is that? To throw your life away?” I half yell at him. “You
can’t do that. What would I do without you, huh?”
“I can do whatever I please. You will do fine without me, besides, you have
Julian.” I’m afraid I’ve lost him again.
“Is that what this is about? Julian” I cry. “Yes, I have him. But I still have
you, or I thought I did. What’s different?”
“No, this isn’t about him.” He paused. “Let’s just face the facts. I
don’t fit here and I never will.” He looks down at the ground. “I can’t live
like this anymore. It’s my fault you haven’t got any friends in school. You’ve
put your life on hold for me, to help me. And how do I repay you for all you’ve
done? You’d be better off without me.”
“How would you know?” Then a silence ensues. “If this is what you want, then I
guess I can’t stop you. I did once. I showed you that I cared enough to listen, but
I guess that won’t work now. Just know this, I love you and nothing can stop that.
You’re my best friend. You helped me through my bad times. You were there for me. I
just wish this wasn’t your solution.” I look at him through tear-filled eyes. He
looks up at me, he’s crying as well. I hug him and give him a kiss on the cheek.
“And thank you for all you’ve done. It means a lot to me. You are the only person
who cares. Not even my parents do, nor my brothers and sister do, not all. This is
something I want, something to end my pain and loneliness. It might not happen
tonight, or tomorrow, but one day it will.” He hugs me back. “I love you too. I
only wish people were more like you.” Then he pushes me away, walks around me and
into the house, disappearing from me.
I stand there and wrap my arms around myself, crying. As I gather myself together, I
go and get in the car. I look up at the window to his room and he isn’t looking
out. “Could you reach in there and grab some tissues for me?” I ask Julian. I
start to wipe my tears away. “Where do you live?” I ask, we still haven’t left
“You don’t have to take me home right away. If you want to talk, we could go
someplace if you would like to.” I nod, that was what I needed, someone to talk
I take another look at the window, wishing Alex would be looking out, but he’s not
and I give up, but I don’t let him go. I’ll never let him go. I back out of the
driveway and head for the park that’s about a half mile away. When we get there, I
take the keys out of the ignition and we sit in the car.
“Do you want to take a walk while we talk?” I nod and go to get out of the car
but Julian stops me. He gets out and goes over to my side and opens the door for me.
He holds his hand out for to grab as I get out. I try to smile, but find it hard to
do so. He closes my door and I lock them.
I hold his hand for comfort as I head for the trail. The walk is silence, but not at
all uncomfortable. I don’t go to talk and he doesn’t put me to. I really hoped
Alex wouldn’t take those measures. Did he know I really meant all those things I
We come up to the lake and Julian leads me over to a tree and we sit down. I look out
at the shiny water. “What do you want to know?”
He takes a minute before answering. “It doesn’t matter, what ever you want to
tell me, but you don’t have to tell me everything.” He replies; rubbing the back
of my hand with his thumb.
“Why can’t everyone be like you?” I ask him, before saying anything else,
looking at our hands. “So willing to listen, so understanding.” The world would
be so much better with people like him. “Do you think he’s going to do it? He
said he would. What if he does tonight? What if I don’t get to see him again? What
Julian pulls me into his arms, wrapping his arms around me. “Shh.. You’re doing
nothing but worrying yourself. Whatever he choose to do, I’ll be here for you.
I’ll always be here for you.” I lean into his chest and just cry, letting it all
“I can’t help it. First, two weeks ago my sister and cousin got into a car
accident. They are currently in the hospital with no chance of surviving the next
couple of weeks. My parents are on the brink of a divorce. All they have done since
the accident is fight. And now I have this to deal with.” I open up to him. “ Why
is this happening?” I ask. “The whole school basically hates me because I’m
friends with Alex. His parents are avoiding him. His brothers and sister just don’t
care. My parents have stopped caring. So much is happening and I don’t know what to
do. I want him to stop trying to kill himself. Is that too much to ask? Is that too
much to ask for?” He just sits there and whisper comforting words in my ear; saying
all will be fine and that it’ll all work out. I can only hope he’s right.
I pull myself from his chest and lay my head on his shoulder. He pulls one arm from
around me, leaving one behind me, and hold on to my hand. He rubs soothing circles on
the back of my hand. I look up at him to find him looking at me. I look into his
green eyes and I get lost in them. I feel a connection between us forming. The air
felt like it shifted. He turns his body slightly to face me. He brings his hand up to
my face, lightly brushing the bruise that had formed on my face; the one I had long
forgotten all about. He pushes my hair from my face to behind my ear. He’s looking
into my eyes, I’m looking into his. He leans towards me, glancing at my lips then
back at my eyes. It seems like time has slowed down. I slowly lean towards him. He
cups my face with his oh so gentle hands. A shock ran through my body the moment his
lips touched mine. The kiss was slow and tentative. His lips were soft, baby soft. I
could stay like this forever. He then pulled back and I opened up my eyes and smiled.
He smiled back at me. He leans back into the tree and pulls me into him, my head on
his shoulders once more. We watch the water and sit there in comfortable silence.
Suddenly the silence is broken as Julian’s cell phone goes off. He answers it.
“Hey mom..yes, I’m fine..with a friend..yes, someday..yes..okay.. See you.” He
closes his phone and puts it back into his pocket.
“Do you need to go home?” I ask him, looking up at him.
“Not right now. She wants me home by 7:30. We still have plenty of time. It’s
only 4:45.” He replies. “Hey, could you get up for a minute please?”
I get up. He stood up and reached for my hand pulling me to his side. He walks us
towards the lake. “It looks beautiful out here don’t you think.” He stops just
at the edge. I look over at him, wondering what he was up to. Before I could think
about it, he pushed me into the water. It was freezing! I’m lucky I didn’t wear
that skirt today. I looked up at him and decided to play a game of my own. I go under
the water making it look like I was drowning. He starts calling out my name
frantically. Then I hear him jump into the water and that’s when I resurface. Once
he sees me, he rushes over to me and pulls me into his arms.
“Are you okay? Don’t ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of
me.” He says.
“I’m sorry. I was just getting back at you for pushing me in the water. I won’t
do it again.” I promised.
We got out of the water and he hugged me and looked me over; making sure I was fine.
“Hey, come on. I got some towels in the car.” I say shivering, pulling him
towards the trail, heading for the car. I open my trunk and get out a couple of
towels, throwing one over to him. I dry myself off as best as I could. Throwing the
towels back in the trunk; I shut it.
“What do you want to do?” I ask him.
“We can just sit back at that tree if you want.” He suggested.
I go into my car and grab the blankets I keep on me. I close the door. Grabbing his
hand, I walk with him to the tree. He takes one of the blankets from me and lays it
on the ground. He then sits down and pulls me into his lap. I lean back onto his
chest and he wraps his arms around me. I put the other blanket over our legs. I wish
I could stay like that forever, through the end of time but I knew that was
impossible. I watched a nearby family and saw how happy they all were. The little
kids’ parents weren’t bickering. They were holding each other, talking, laughing
together. I wish my parents were like that again. They used to be so happy.
“Bri.” Julian calls softly.
“I know you are going through a lot right now. And I don’t want to add on to any
stress. But, w-would you lie to be..my uh..girlfriend?” He nervously asks me.
I turn my head and look at him, my heart skips a beat. I frowned at him. “No.”
Then I smiled. “I would love to be your girlfriend.”
“Oh you nearly had me there, my heart nearly stopped beating.” Julian said giving
me a kiss on the cheek. “That’s the second time today. First with the water and
“It’s nice to know I have that effect on you.” I said giving him a big cheeky
“Oh really, is that so.” He smiles with a glint in his eyes. He moves his arms to
my sides and begins to tickle me. I squirm and get up, getting out of reach. He
stands up and comes towards me and I run. It’s a game of cat and mouse now. I’m
laughing, throwing all thoughts behind me, and putting all my worries behind. I look
back at him and he comes up to me and picks me up. He laughs as he spins me around in
circles. He slowly starts to put me down giving me a quick peck on the lips and I
throw my arms around his waist and put my face into his chest. I feel dizzy from all
“Are you okay?” He asks rubbing circles on my back.
I nod into his chest then pull back. “Just a little dizzy is all. I’m fine.” I
smile and put my face back against his chest, he tightens his hold on me. I could get
used to being in his arms. Julian’s phone rings again, interrupting our
peacefulness bringing us back to reality.
“Yes mom..I never said that..but I still have another hour and a
half..fine..whatever.” He hung up, wrapped his arms around me and sighed. “I have
to go home. My mom’s upset with me.”
He removed his arms from around me and grabs my hand. We walk silently to the car. As
we get there, he opens the door for me and then gets in himself. I start the car and
put it in reverse.
“Where do you live?” I ask, putting on my seatbelt, watching him do the same.
“135 Maple Street.” He replies and I gasp.
“No way. That’s right beside my house. I thought I saw a guy that looked like
you, but I pushed the thought away. I didn’t know you moved.”
I back out and head toward home. What a coincidence! Maybe we were meant to be. I
pull up into my driveway, shut the car off, and we both get out and stand behind it.
“So I guess I’ll see you then.”
He reaches over and kisses me on the cheek. “Of course, call me if you need to
talk.” He says, writing his number on a piece of paper and hands it to me. I watch
him as he walks home. I then turn towards my own, preparing to face my parents once
“Aubrianna Evelyn Nicole Malena Hanik, where have you been?” My mother shouts at
me, stopping me in my tracks to my room. I turn on my heels facing her with a blank
“Out. What does it matter to you? It’s not like you care anyway.”
“Wait until your father hears of this!” She shouts. I don’t see why she’s
shouting. It’s not like I’m shouting at her, in fact, it’s almost the
“He won’t care and you know it. He hates me and he hates you. I don’t see why
he hasn’t left yet.” The truth can be hard to bear sometimes. “You don’t
believe me do you? Why don’t you go and ask him yourself.” And that’s exactly
what she did. I followed her to his den, which was about the only place you would him
It was the forbidden area. It screamed back off. No women allowed. Dark walls.
Hardwood floor. He had his recliner, his flat screen TV that was currently on
football, a pool table, and his new favorite, his bar.
This is the first time I’ve stepped foot in the same room as him since the
accident. I always tried to avoid him; I think he did the same. I don’t know why
his attitude towards me changed. I mean, I am his daughter, am I not?
“Charles, you wouldn’t believe what your daughter just said.” She exclaimed to
him; she was so oblivious to the look on his face. It was one of pure indifference.
He truly did not care. When he didn’t answer, she asked. “Do you not want to know
what she said?”
“No, not really. I could care less.” He replied, still with the look of
indifference on his face.
“See, I told you he didn’t care. You never listen to me.” I shake my head and
turn to leave but then stop short and look over at him, addressing my mom. “He
nothing but a worthless piece of shit. Open your eyes, maybe you’ll be able to
tell.” Then I leave and go to my room. Soon knocking filled my room.
“Open this door right now, young lady!” My mom shouted.
I rolled over on my bed and turned my radio on. I turned it on to full volume,
blocking out the sound of her voice. She could stay out there all she wanted for all
I cared. Picking up my phone, I dialed Alex’s number. I hung up after about the
fifth ring; he wasn’t going to answer.
*** means time skip
Last edited: 14 December 2010