Friday, 22 February 2008
06:38:15 PM (GMT)
********** REASONS NOT TO MESS WITH CHILDREN********
1) A little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher: said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a
human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
The little girl: stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher: reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl: said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher: asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl: replied, "Then you ask him".
2) A Kindergarten teacher: was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was.
The girl: replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher: paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the
girl: replied, "They will in a minute."
3) A Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and
six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy
Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat
our brothers and sis ters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy: (the oldest of a family) answered,
"Thou shall not kill."
4) One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands
of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and
make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma,
how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
5) The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up
and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or "That's Michael,
He's a doctor."
A small voice at the back of
the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
6) The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table
was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple
"Take only ONE. God is watching"
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was
pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it
made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
7) There was a girl who was in health class and had just learned about recycling and
how Earth is being polluted from all this trash and waste.
Just coming from math class this girl had graph paper with her. So in health the
teacher told the class that he wanted them 2 make a crossword puzzle with the
So the girl took out a pen and a piece of the graph paper, thinking that the boxes
would make it easier. So she got started on that and the teacher comes by and says,
"Why are you using pen?" and the girl says"well you didn't say to use a pencil." so
the teacher tells the girl to start over and to use a pencil
So the girl starts over on another piece of graph paper, and this time when the
teacher comes over he says "What, graph paper, no i don't want you using graph
so the girl says, "Well thats too bad i am not starting over"
teacher:"well i am not grading it then."
girl: "Didn't we just learn about recycling, why are you having me waste paper?!"
teacher: "one piece of paper isn't going to hurt, it is only a tree!"
girl: "Well didn't you know that humans need trees to breathe, and we need that
oxygen to live!"
teacher: "Well than don't breathe."
girl: "Well than, you can die!!!!!!!"
(and the whole class started laughing!)