Thursday, 5 July 2007
04:06:47 PM (GMT)
In a crowded elevator, shout "HAS ANYONE SEEN MY PET RAT?!?!"
In the car, shove a burger in soimeones face and shout" Want some?!
Get a friend to wear a shark fin in the pool and run around the edge asking
everyone"IS THAT MY PET SHARK?!"
Wear a Batman suit to a retail store and sing the Batman song really loud and ask
assistant"Why would you charge Batman for a towel?"
At a restuarant with a date, be quiet and get really close to his face, then
suddenly blab,"YOU'RE PAYING!" and run out!
Bring a buzzer to school and buzz when anyone,(including the students)asks a
In a queue, keep on saying "MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!!"
Record yourself singing an annoying song and bring it to an important place the
day. Play it all the time.
Bring a broken portable TV into an elevator and keep on shouting,"COME ON, COME ON!
I BET $100 ON YOU, MAKYBE DIVA!"
Sing the Wiggles theme song at a preschool and all the kiddies will join in,
annoying the adults!
If you watch a Simpsons episode that you have watched before and the other people
watching haven't, keep on saying what happens.
Put your face really close to someone elses while they're facing a different
direction, tap them on the shoulder, and watch them jump when they turn to face
Take a pencil, stick a piece of chewed gum onto it, and stick it
to the ground. Then wait for some cheap-o to come along and try to
pick it up.
When walking behind someone outside, pull up a long piece of
grass, and gently tickle them behind the ear with it. The first
time, they'll try to brush it away. The second time they'll swat
at it, and smack themselves. Generally, the third time they turn around and look
Call a house at random, and ask for Gary. When they tell you that
there's no Gary there, call again a little while later. Do this at
intervals about four times. Finally, when they're fuming and about to scream bloody
murder, call a fifth time, and say, "Hi, this is Gary. Are there any messages for
In A Store:
Pay for an item at a store with all pennies.
"Accidentally" get stuck in one of the frozen food doors. Give people strange looks
and see if anyone helps you out.
Pour bubble bath into the fountains in the garden section.
Put M&M's on layaway.
Make a trail of orange juice on the floor, leading to the rest rooms.
Page yourself and then after the employee says your name, say...Oh that's me, I've
got to go. Thank you.
Find a parent with her kid in the shopping cart. Point at the kid and ask the
parent, "What aisle are they selling these on?"
Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
Gather a bunch of bouncy balls and bounce them into neighboring aisles.
Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas
Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock,
i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?"
Strategically scatter those novelty dog poops throughout the store and wait for
to announce "cleanup on aisle ..." then yell "BAD FLUFFY!"
Start Humming the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Theme song. Whenever someone looks at
an item near you scream "TUTLE POWER" and run away as fast as you can.
When a woman with children walks near you in the toy aisle, throw yourself on the
floor, screaming "mommy, I want that toy"
While playing a video game in the Electronics, skip side-by-side, wiggle your butt,
and hum to the music.
Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the reflecting pond.
Try pants on backwards at the Grap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look
Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shlock.
Sneeze on the sample tray at Heckory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its
now unwanted contents.
At the bottom of an escalator, scream My SHOELACES! AAAGH!
Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD prices are in pesos
Teach pet store parrots new vocabulary that makes them unsalable.
.Stomp on ketchup packets at Burger Queen...
....but save a few to slurp on as snacks. Tell people that theyre astronaut food.
Follow patrons of D. Baltons around while reading aloud from Dianetics.
Ask mall cops for stories of World War I.
Ask a salesman why a particular TV is labeled black and white and insist that its a
color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, You mean you really
cant see it?
Construct a new porch deck in the tool department of Snears.
Wear pancake makeup and new clothes and pose as a fashion dummy in clothes
departments, occasionally screaming without warning.
Test mattresses in your pajamas.
Ask the tobacconist if his hovercraft is full of eels.
If youre patient, stare intently into a surveillance camera for an hour while
rocking from side to side.
Sprint up the down escalator.
Stare at static on a display TV and challenge other shoppers whether they, too, can
see the hidden picture.
Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
Make unusual requests at the Piercing Pagoda.
Ask a salesperson in the hardware department how well a
At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether theres
much meat on them.
Hula dance by the demonstration air conditioner.
Ask for red-tinted lenses at the optometrist.
Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray *them* with your own bottle
of Eau de Swanke.
Rummage through the jelly bean bin at the candy store, insisting that you lost a
Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your
In the changing rooms, announce in a singsong voice, I see London, I see France...
Leave on the plastic string connecting a new pair of shoes, and wander around the
mall taking two-inch steps.
Play the tuba for change.
Ask the Hamond organ dealer if he can play Jesus Built My Hotrod.
Record belches on electronic sampling keyboards, and perform gastric versions of
Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers.
Ask the pharmacist at the drugstore which leading cold remedy will give you a
Ask the personnel at Peer 1 Imports whether they have any giant junk made out of
Toast plastic gag hot dogs in front of the fake fireplace display.
Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
Ask the information desk for a stroller, and someone to push you around in it.
Change every TV in the electronics department to a station showing Saved by the
Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch
on one of the sets.
Hang out in the waterbed section of the furniture department wearing a Navy
Occasionally run around in circles yelling scratch one flat top!
Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce
that none of them are leakproof.
Play the demo modes of video games at the arcade. Make lots of explosion noises.
Stand transfixed in front of a mirror bobbing your head up and down.
Pay for all your purchases with two-dollar bills to provoke arguments over whether
If its Christmas, ask the mall Santa to sit on *your* lap.
Answer any unattended service phones that ring in department stores and say
Try on flea collars at the pet store while occasionally pausing to scratch
At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
Show people your drivers license and demand to know whether theyve seen this man.
Buy a jawbreaker from the candy store. Return fifteen minutes later, fish it out of
your mouth, and demand to know why it hasnt turned blue yet.
Walk up the skinniest stairs in the mall with your arms out not letting anyone pass
and walkin really slow. And any time someone is near yell.
Find one of the huge boom-boxes and turn it to some rock station. Then, turn it off
and turn the volume all the way up. Then the next person to check it out will have
Set all of the alarm clocks in any of the Bed & Bath stores to go off every ten
minutes on the loudest setting possible.
Buy the largest soda the stores have available, drink it down to the last inch,
stand behind someone while slurping up the remainding soda as loud as possible,when
they tell you to stop it retort that you don't like to waste things.
Men go into women's clothes stores and try on skirts, underclothes, swimsuits, etc.
Ask shop assisants what they think (vise-versa for women)
Bring survial gear and "live" in one of the tents in a camping shops. Scream "Help"
& "We're under fire" every 5 mins. Make battle noises as well!
Wear you swimming clothes and go swimming in the coin pool! Wear armbands and a
rubber ring for extra effect!
Start a sing along in the middle of the mall.
Print lots of "Fake" money, go into the mall (second floor if available) amd throw
it all away.
Go into a pet shop and release all the birds, parrots etc. Screaming at the top of
your voice "Be free my feathered friends"
Follow someone with children around yelling "mommy I want that!"
Take the money out the fountain while swimming and hand it out to people,spend it
if possible throw it from the second floor (it might hurt someone)
Add strange growths to the giant lego men in the toy stores
Put weird backgrounds on store computers when people aren't looking.
buy a feather boa at a clothing store and hang on to the rail while waving it and
screaming "Look everyone I can fly!"
Stand in front of the Gap. "Fall" in repeatedly. Threaten legal action.
When ever someone makes an annoncment over the loud speakers cover your ears and
scream "The voices...the voices...make them stop"
With a friend, speak in a different language (or make up your own) and make a seen,
pointing at signs and people as if they were something shiny and new that you've
never seen before. Pretend you're a tourist.
Walk right on people's heels and when they look back at you stop and look at the
celing and when they turn back around countine
Annoying Things To Do During a Boring Sermon
Pass a note to the organist asking whether he/she plays requests.
See if a yawn really is contagious.
Slap your neighbor. See if they turn the other cheek. If not, raise your hand and
tell the preacher.
Devise ways of climbing into the balcony without using the stairs.
Listen for your preacher to use a word beginning with A then B and so on through
Sit in the back row and roll a handful of marbles under the pews ahead of you.
the service, credit yourself with 10 points for every marble that made it to the
Using church bulletins or visitor cards for raw materials, design, test and modify
collection of paper airplanes.
Start from the back of the church and try to crawl all the way to the front, under
the pews, without being noticed.
Raise your hand and ask for permission to go to the rest room.
Whip out a hankie and blow your nose. Vary the pressure exerted on your nostrils
trumpet out a rendition of your favorite hymn.
Chew gum... if the sermon goes on for more than 15 minutes, start blowing bubbles.
Try to indicate to the minister that his fly is undone.
By unobtrusively drawing your arms up into your sleeves, turn your shirt around
Try to raise one eyebrow.
Crack your knuckles.
Twiddle your thumbs.
Wiggle your ears so that the people behind you will notice.
When the service gets long, write the time on the back of a bulletin, hold it up
the preacher to see, and up date it every five minutes.
Grab the bulletin and start redesigning the church symbol.
Make faces at the person on the other side of the room and see if you get other
Produce your own light show with the overhead projector. Mouth the word "lightning"
to the pastor.
Say "Amen" every time the pastor says "Lord" or "Father."
In A Theater/Cinema:
Every gunshot, scream "hit the floor" and jump down.
During the film, leave, announcing loudly that you are going to the bathroom.
Repeat each line of dialogue after the actors have said it.
Start a phone conversation, or IM, with your friend in the same room.
Go to a horror movie and scream at every minor thing, during the silent parts
awaiting the monster, scream.
Scare people by sitting under their chair
Order a pizza to be delivered halfway through the film
Scream at the scary parts about a min after they happen
Laugh loudly at everything that isnt funny, such as touching sad parts
Bring a fake arrow and during the battle scenes yell out "i've been hit"
When someone in a movie is about to faint yell timber.
Pass blank pieces of folded paper to confuse your teachers when they catch you
Yell "OMG LOOK AT THAT!!" while pointing out the window. When everyone turns to
look, act normal and whistle innocently.
Wear glasses with eyes painted on them, and fall asleep.
Bring a cell phone to school and have a friend call you during class, and say "Oh,
yeah...Im in the middle of a REALLY BORING CLASS" (REALLY BORING CLASS must be
If you're late, quote J.R.R.Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings": "A wizard is never late.
Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to."
If your teacher is bald, say to him "Excuse me sir, could you please put on a hat,
the light reflecting off of your head is blinding me.
On the first day at school when they are taking role and they ask if you'd like to
be called by a nick-name or something other than your given first name, request to
be called "Your Majesty".
In An Elevator:
Act like a dog, growl at people.
Announce in a demonic voice: I must find a more suitable host body.
Apply dripping red paint around the edge of the roof hatch. When someone enters,
look upwards and whisper "I think they want in..."
Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them. Press the wrong
Ask everyone what they made for their side dish.
Ask someone to take your temperature, then turn around and bend over.
Ask, did you hear that cable snapping sound?
Attempt to hypnotize the other passengers.
Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
Blow spit balls at the ceiling.
Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.
Blow your nose on your sleeve.
Bring a camera, take pictures of everybody in the elevator.
Bring a chair along.
Bring easy math flash cards on the elevator and ask the person next to you to help
you study them (get them wrong).
Burp, and then say mmmm...tasty!
Call out, Group hug! and enforce it.
Call the psychic hotline from you cell phone, and ask if they know what floor youre
Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
Challenge people to games of hide-and-seek.
Clutch your stomach and gasp.
Collapse on the floor when the elevator goes up, then get up and look embarrassed.
Collect an elevator tax.
Count down from 100,000 out loud.
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: Got enough air in
Do Tai Chi exercises.
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers
that this is your personal space.
Draw a volleyball on the wall of the elevator and insist you have been trapped in
there for 3 months. Formally introduce everyone to the volleyball!
Dress as a clergy member of the opposite sex.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, Thats
Eat jello through a straw.
Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
Give each passenger a round of applause as they enter or leave.
Give each passenger a ticket and remind them that door prize drawing is in half an
Give people lectures about the periodic table of elements
Give religious tracts to each passenger.
Go into extreme detail explaining how you were trapped in an elevator once for two
Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call
Greet everyone with a smile and a handshake, then ignore them.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all
of you just shut UP!"
Guard the button panel so no one can touch it. Growl and bite at anyones fingers
attept to cross you.
Have a picnic in the elevator.
Have a seizure.
Hold the elevator door open and say youre waiting for your friend. After a while,
let the doors close and say, Hi John, hows your day been?
Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.
Hum the theme from Mission Impossible with yours eyes darting around the elevator.
Hum the theme to Jeopardy
If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"
If anyone brushes against you, whisper to them "was it good for you too?"
Introduce yourself as Ochenga-Wangaa The great chief and begin telling stories of
your native island.
Jump up when the elevator reaches a stop.
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they want to play.
Lean against the button panel.
Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!
Leave a box between the doors.
Leave a box in a corner, and when someone gets on, ask if they hear something
Lick gummy bears and stick them to things (the walls, the buttons, the passengers,
Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Make farm noises.
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
Make sure the emergency phone is working.
Move your desk in to the elevator, and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have
Mumble autistically about the possibilities of elevator accidents.
Offer a bite of your fresh tangerine to everyone coming on board.
Offer hitman services.
Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you
the penny you dropped down the shaft go plink at the bottom.
Open a lemonade stand.
Perform the Hamlet soliloquy. When a new passenger enters, start over again.
Pick your nose.
Place police tape (CRIME SCENE DO NOT CROSS) on the inside of the doors.
Play patty--cake with the door.
Play the harmonica.
Pour water on the front of your trousers, so it looks like you have wet yourself,
tell everyone who comes in to the elevator, that you had a little accident.
Pray to Budda.
Preach about the end of the world.
Pretend to be dead and lie on the elevator floor.
Pretend youre a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the
Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock.
Read a book upside down.
Recite poetry in monotone.
Request for people to watch you Riverdance.
Say "Ding!" at each floor.
Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
Say, while holding a paper with OUT OF ORDER written on it, I wonder why this was
glued on the door when I came in.
Scribble furiously on a notepad while looking at each passenger. When they try to
look, hide the pad.
Sell Girl Scout cookies.
Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.
Sing: "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerve's, everybody's nerves,
everybody's nerves, i know a song that gets on everybody's nerves and i