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This diary entry is written by pussydestroyer. ( View all entries )
Previous entry: an emotional rant in category (general)

i want to be cool tooCategory: (general)
Friday, 9 February 2018
06:08:18 AM (GMT)
part 1: the basics

⇸ name: ffion

⇸ pronouns: why

⇸ gender identity: a legend

⇸ sexual orientation: bi

⇸ romantic orientation: romance is grim

⇸ year of school/college: it doesn't work like that

part 2: appearance

⇸ height: like 5'3

⇸ weight: massive, but losing

⇸ hair colour: brown, goes weird in summer

⇸ eye colour: blue

part 3: personality

⇸ mbti type: infp-t

⇸ Empathy quotient: 61

⇸ lover or fighter?: fighter lol

⇸ violent?: very, in too many ways.

⇸ introvert or extrovert: both

⇸ narcissism quotient: 6

part 4: this or that

⇸ dogs or cats: doggies

⇸ coke or pepsi: pepsi, always

⇸ iphone or android: iphone

⇸ sweet or savoury: savoury

⇸ phone call or text: neither. both give me anxiety.

⇸ skype or discord: kik

⇸ instagram or snapchat: snapchat (even tho i never answer)

⇸ ice cream or frozen yogurt: ice cream

⇸ bath or shower: bath

⇸ converse or vans: vans

⇸ small groups or big parties: my fp lol

⇸ mcdonalds or wendys: kfc

⇸ burgers or chicken nuggets: chicken nuggets omg

⇸ coffee or tea: coffee, but only if it's cold.

⇸ art or science: art!

⇸ friends or family: my fp and like 3 other ppl

⇸ pptimist or pessimist: depends on the state i'm in. as a base, probably

⇸ milkshakes or smoothies: milkshakes

⇸ casual or fancy: casual

⇸ candy or pastries: pastries

⇸ youtube or netflix: both

⇸ fashion or function: fashion lol

⇸ beanies or baseball caps: snapbacks

⇸ movie theatres or drive ins: cinemaaaaaa

⇸ book smart or street smart: ew

part 5: favourites

⇸ colour: red, like a crimson colour.

⇸ animal: bears!!

⇸ food: hhhhhh probably italian

⇸ belonging: my ipad omg she's ancient and as slow as a pensioner but i love her!

⇸ piece of clothing: my mc ride shirt tbh, or my red jacket! or my black vans
hoodies idkkkkk

⇸ tv show: call the midwife

⇸ movie: this is england hhhh

⇸ book: most likely the miranda hart biography. i just love her. 

⇸ drink: skimmed milk for non alcoholic, strongbow dark fruits for alcoholic (it's
a classic)

⇸ school subject: usually i say media but it's super dry rn so film

⇸ restaurant: this is tough. it's either spice route, or murchi's. their chicken
biryani is just mmmmmmfff

⇸ fast food place: subway

⇸ band: atm, it's ladybaby/the idol formerly known as ladybaby

⇸ song: rn, c'est si bon kibun

⇸ album: the emptiness, or black widow.

⇸ season: s u m m e r

⇸ emoji: i hate emojis, but i am partial to the sparkly heart one.

part 6: random questions

⇸ are you religious?
it's a mystery to me these days
⇸ are you a forgiving person?
yes, but i also hold very unforgiving grudges and vendettas too.

⇸ if you haven't gone to college yet, do you plan to go?
i'm in college. if you mean uni, yes!! it's soo daunting but i really want to go

⇸ if you could marry any of your mutuals, who would you marry and why?
that's weird ): probably cheyanne because she's put up with the most of my bullshit

⇸ what do you want to contribute to the world?
the high mortality and obesity rate in the uk and the teen mental health epidemic.

⇸ what do you see for yourself in the future?
mostly death

⇸ what is your relationship with your family like?
it changes constantly honestly

⇸ what is your relationship with your friends like?
we r so mean to each other, i live for it

⇸ who do you trust most in the world?
i will never trust another thing that lives on this earth

⇸ what do you enjoy doing the most?

⇸ do you play an instrument?
i used to drum

⇸ do you play any sports?

⇸ what kind of music do you listen to?
lots of stuff. most of it is metal or underground rap, but pretty much anything that
i find and identify with.

⇸ are you an affectionate person?
no, but i crave affection so much it's painful.

⇸ do you consider yourself a good student (if you're in school)?
yes! i'm a but lousy with homework sometimes and my attendance is bleh bc i get sick
a lot but i work hard and i get good grades!

⇸ are you vegetarian/vegan?
nope, but i respect those who are. i'm likely to try for a diet anyway.

⇸ if you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
honestly? nowhere. i love where i live, even if it's surrounded by shitty memories
and ptsd triggers

⇸ what's the kindest thing anyone's ever said to you?
honestly, i dont really know.

⇸ when was the last time you said "i love you" to someone (platonic or romantic)?
on the phone to erin like an hour ago

⇸ when was the last time someone said it back?
erin <3

⇸ do you like halloween?
i actually despise halloween.

⇸ are you afraid of spiders?
only if i can see them in the dark. i usually boop them on the bum if i see them
about. there's a super cute tiny one on my bathroom wall rn he's sweet.

⇸ do you dye your hair? 

⇸ if you answered yes to the last question, what colour is your favourite colour
dye your hair?

⇸ do you like making crafts? 
when i'm not feeling lazy or super busy

⇸ do you believe in aliens?
yeah, i just don't think they're anywhere near earth and would be just as primitive
as us.

⇸ ghosts?

⇸ Cryptids?

⇸ angels/demons?

⇸ magic?

⇸ do you have siblings?
yes, i have two. only see one.

⇸ if so, are they younger or older? describe them a bit!
both are younger, maisie and dylan. maisie is unfairly pretty but with the worst
personality i've ever witnessed. dylan is fat and asian, and very likely autistic.

⇸ do you like physical affection (platonic or romantic)?
yes, and i crave that too, but i almost always reject and avoid it because it's also
gross lmao.

⇸ do you like verbal affection (platonic or romantic)?
no. roast me.

⇸ what is one thing that you want to tell your friends but have trouble saying?
i don't mean to be like this. i'm doing my best, please bear with me and please
please don't leave me.

⇸ if you could have one superpower, what would it be and why?
i'd love to be able to read people's thoughts. it would likely drive me to suicide
but i still want to know how people really feel about me.

⇸ what is your biggest insecurity?
the fear that i am only attention seeking, and i've somehow fabricated my whole life
story as an elaborate way to gain sympathy.

⇸ what is your favourite part about yourself (physical)?
i hate my physical appearance in pretty much every aspect imaginable lmao

⇸ what is your favourite part about yourself (personality)?
i like how emotional i am, to a degree. whilst it adversely affects me by making me
very highly strung, panicky and aggressive (as well as giving me manic episodes), it
makes me better at sympathising with others and providing someone who can actually
understand how they feel.

⇸ what is your hidden talent?
a great memory

⇸ what is your passion? 

⇸ do you act the same way you think? (basically, do you act like your real self in
yes but no. i act like my usual thoughts but not the really bad ones lmao

⇸ what is your biggest fear? 
insignificance, or being unwanted.

⇸ do you speak your mind when you have a problem with someone? 
i have learned the hard way that sometimes, no matter how much you loathe somebody,
it's important to bite your tongue.

⇸ do you have plans for the future? 
yes, but i doubt they'll ever really materialise tbh.

⇸ if you're not married, do you want to get married? 
no, probably never.

⇸ if you don't already have kids, do you want kids?
also no lmao i hate children

⇸ do you like roller coasters?
yes! a lot!

⇸ have you ever been on a plane? if so, where was the last place you went on a
the last time i went on a plane was? it may have been 2012? incredibly bad memories i
would never wish to relive.

⇸ have you ever taken a road trip? 
i do quite often. the commute to college is long enough to constitute a road trip

⇸ are you afraid of death? 
i find comfort in it

⇸ do you recycle? 

⇸ what's your ideal career?
media analyst, or a screenwriter. 

⇸ are you happy? 
i've never been happy.

⇸ are you confident? 
i give an illusion of confidence.

⇸ do you act like yourself around other people or do you hide it? 
again, yes and no.

⇸ what's the weirdest thing you've ever done to impress someone? 
idk, really. i don't tend to try and impress people because i always see myself as a
failure haha

⇸  what's your most awkward moment? 
too many

⇸  what's your happiest memory?
reflecting back on it, i can't remember a single positive thing that's happened to me
that could outweigh the bad lmaoooo

part 7: have you ever's
put a // next to things you've done 
⇸  gotten drunk? // 
⇸  gotten high? //
⇸  smoked cigarettes? //
⇸  smoked weed? //
⇸  did any other kind of drug? //
⇸  gotten all a's?
⇸  cried in public? //
⇸  questioned your sexuality? //
⇸  questioned your gender identity? //
⇸  been out of the country? //
⇸  fallen in love?
⇸  with a best friend? 
⇸  fallen out of love?
⇸  been rejected? //
⇸  had a one night stand? 
⇸  ate a bug (not by accident)? 
⇸  ate something disgusting? 
⇸  liked that disgusting thing? 
⇸  went hiking? //
⇸  played a sport? //
⇸  gone to the hospital? //
⇸  had surgery? //
⇸  broken a bone?
⇸  stolen something? //
⇸  hated someone? // oh boy you want the list?
⇸  lied to a friend? //
⇸  hugged a stranger?
⇸  hurt someone? //
⇸  won something? //
⇸  came out as lgbt? //
⇸  cussed someone out? //
⇸  gotten in a fistfight?

SubGenius says:   12 February 2018   320293  
there's a 24 hour subway by where i live and its pretty neat. i used
to stop there for 3 am turkey sandwiches after work sometimes.
pussydestroyer says :   12 February 2018   259307  
that is my wet dream
there's a subway attached to my college and u know my fat ass is in
there for a chicken tikka on hearty Italian between classes 


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