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This diary entry is written by ‹♪×Slowly×Losing×Control×♪›. ( View all entries )
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Love is Evol~Category: Stories
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
07:01:36 PM (GMT)

Chapter 1:|-The Swear-|

	The sound of water beating against sand filled my ears. The smell of salt burned my
nose. It was warm, really warm. I looked around trying to figure out where I was.
South Beach, California. I noticed a little girl standing a little ways in front of
me. The tan sands were wedged between her bare toes. She wore a little white
sundress. Her hair was blonde, her eyes were blue. Her cheeks were kissed by the sun,
specks of light brown set on her cheeks. Her face was alight with joy as she looked
at me. “Aaron! There you are!” The girl said as she ran over to me. As soon as
she reached me, her arms were about me. She looked about six. She was shorter than me
but not by too much, her head came to my lips. How did that work? Unless…I was six
or seven as well... The girl released me but remained in front of me, her eyes gazing
into mine. The waves of the ocean crashed on the sandy shore behind her. “When
we’re older, promise me we’ll stay together?” The girl said. Just as the words
left her lips, my heart swelled and I felt my lips turn up into a smile.
	“Yes, I promise.” I replied, my voice sounding slightly girly. The little girl
hugged me tighter before sending me to the ground. She sat on top of me, on my lap.
	“Say my name, AJ?” The little girl said. Her name? What was her name? I
couldn’t remember, but I knew that I knew her name at one point. Her lips pursed up
in a pout, her eyebrows pulling together sadly. “AJ…” The little girl pouted. I
thought about it for a minute. Ah! I knew it!
	“Amber!” I said smiling. The little girl beamed. Suddenly everything around me
blurred and changed. The beach now had seagulls flying around, the sky was dark, it
was night, I instinctively knew. Amber looked about thirteen now. She was gazing down
at me before she looked around. Her blonde hair was wet.
	“Oh no! I have to go!” Amber said as she jumped off me. I quickly pushed myself
to my feet as well and reached to grab her arm, my heart was racing. I couldn’t
reach her.
	“No! You can’t! Amber, please!” I called after her as my hand flew through the
empty space she’d left. She was running to the road, where it appeared a bus was
waiting. I felt as if I needed to stop her, I didn’t know why, I just knew I had to
stop her. I noticed my voice sounded prepubescent as I cried out, “Amber, Come
back!!” I called closing the distance between us, my hand grabbing at her wrist but
her wrist slipped through my fingers, like smoke. “Amber!” I called again, but it
was fruitless, above-on the road- the city bus sat impatiently. The bus drivers’
eyes switched between Amber and his wrist watch. I tried going after her but she was
gone. Right as she boarded the bus, I closed my eyes feeling a tremendous weight on
my shoulders, on my heart. Guilt was eating me. Now, I was alone, I opened my eyes
and looked to the sky, exhausted, as everything faded to white.
	“AJ!” A male voice came. “AJ! Wake up, man!” The voice yelled. Was it my
conscious? I felt my body being shook. I opened my eyes slowly as everything blurred
into view. Although, the only thing I could really see was a concerned looking guy in
front of my face. My buddy, Jake. He had medium blonde hair that turned into bangs
that covered most of his left eye, which was green. He wore what we called,
‘Guyliner’ and was wearing a white button-down shirt whose sleeves were pushed to
his elbows. Underneath he wore a plaid black and red flannel that was also pushed to
his elbows. His shorts were black and red plaid as well and came just down past his
knees. He wore black converse and white suspenders that hung from his waist. He had
loads of piercings on both of his ears but only one on his tongue. His skin was pale
and around his neck he wore multiple necklaces. “Who’s Amber?” Jake asked be
when he realized I was awake, kind of. Just as her name came out of his mouth, I
remembered what else happened after she got on the bus…we were at the beach because
she’d run away from home. I tried to stop her from leaving the beach to tell her
that I loved her, I was able to. We were kind of dating then, when she left
afterwards, the city bus she’d got on swerved to avoid a drunken driver. The bus
flipped over the railing on the ledge they were near and landed in a ditch a little
ways down, it may not sound too bad, but the bus was going around forty or fifty
miles an hour, the speed limit-mind you. If I would’ve been more capable of
stopping her, she would still be alive and happier than that day. That day was the
day I swore never to love again. If I had been smarter, the people I loved most
wouldn’t be disappearing all the time. “AJ, dude, are you okay?” I barely heard
Jake say. I couldn’t really comprehend the words at the time, I heard them but I
didn’t understand what they meant at the moment. I blinked and looked over at him.
	“What?” I asked.
	“Are you okay?” Jake asked, obviously he was repeating himself, but this time, I
	“What?” I asked kind of chuckling. “Yeah, I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
I asked, it was mainly to myself though. The whole thing happened five years ago. An
old memory.
	“I don’t know, are you sick?” Jake asked tilting his head. He’d been my
friend for six years, the year before the accident we’d met, we weren’t very
close, Amber and he hadn’t met, nor did I really tell him about her. I was afraid
he’d try taking her away from me. After it had happened, I’d shelled myself up;
he was the only person who’d helped me escape my shell. All I’d told him, though,
was that a very close friend of mine passed away.
	“No, I’m not sick, I never get sick.” I said with a half-hearted smile. He
rolled his eyes.
	“Of course, of course, well hurry up and do what you have to do, we have to get to
school in twenty minutes.” Jake said before leaving my room. I sighed and rolled
out of bed. I could tell that today would be a bad day. I jumped into the shower and
then got dressed. I wore a black three button blouse, buttoned only one button and
pushed the sleeves to my elbows. I examined the healing and healed marks and scars on
my wrists before throwing a bunch of bracelets over them. Each bracelet had some type
of saying on it, some had curse words on them, and others were band bracelets or
bracelets with things like, keep calm and Dubstep on. I threw on some skinny jeans
and then put on some black ‘guyliner’. Next came the ankle socks and last but not
least-by any means- my black converse. I looked up at the mirror. My hair was shaggy
and black and parted mainly to the left. My skin was pale, my gray eyes shone back at
me. My eyes often changed from gray to green to blue. I never know. I looked at my
skinny frame. I wasn’t scrawny but I was slightly underweight for my stature of
five foot ten inches. I figured it was because of the lack of eating I’d taken to
recently. That and the lack of blood from cutting. I shook my head and sighed. I
brushed my hair and teeth and then walked downstairs to see Jake working diligently
over the stove.
	“What are you doing?” I asked Jake staring at the back of his head. He jumped
and turned to look at me.
	“I’m cooking…?” Jake said. I narrowed my eyes at him. 
	“Why?” I asked.
	“Aren’t you hungry?” Jake asked me, not turning around.
	“Yeah, but…” I started. He turned to look at me now. He narrowed his eyes at
	“But what? I was hungry too, so I figured why not make you some breakfast too? You
are going to eat today, you’ve not eaten hardly anything since last Tuesday and
it’s Wednesday. That’s over a week. Is it because the anniversary of that
chick’s death is coming up?” Jake asked. I hadn’t even really thought about
that-the date of her death- until now. He was right. The anniversary of Amber’s
passing was Friday. I stayed quiet and looked at the floor. I could feel Jake’s
eyes on me. I shrugged silently. I heard Jake sigh. “Here, eat.” Jake said, I
looked up just as he sat a plate in front of me. I looked back down at the food and
stared, bacon and eggs. My stomach growled, my mouth watered, I suddenly felt like I
was starving. I picked up my fork and, very unattractively, dug in. I felt Jake’s
eyes on me, again. I looked up to see him gazing at me.
	“May I help you?” I asked.
	“That’s the kind of thanks I get after making sure you ate?” Jake asked. I
swallowed the food I’d shoveled into my mouth.
	“Thank you for breakfast.” I mumbled looking back at my food, which was rapidly
	“You’re Welcome.” Jake said. After I was done, Jake took my plate and cleaned
	“No one said you had to do that.” I said watching him as he scrubbed my plate.
There was silence for a minute.
	“I know.” Jake finally said as he rinsed the plate. Now, let’s go before
we’re late.’ Jake said drying his hands and then picking up his bag from the
floor. I nodded and stood stretching again before walking over and picking up my own
bag from a nearby armchair. He headed out the door, I followed and locked it behind
us, by the time I was done, Jake was already some ways away. I hurried to catch up
with him. I t took about five or ten minutes to get to the school, when we got there,
we immediately got dirty looks. I wasn’t considered the most popular kid at school,
unless you consider notorious popular. I was pretty notorious for doing drugs,
drinking alcohol, and some other pretty “Bad Influence” like stuff. I was
considered the Emo/Goth/Loner/Stoner/Punk kid while Jake was considered a skater
boy/stoner/punk, even though he’d only done drugs once in all his eighteen years
and not even liked it. I sighed and kept my head held high away from the dirty looks
and glares. Jake had said that if I was more sociable, I could go for “pretty boy
jock” which sickened me yet somehow flattered me. We sat at our little table
outside; it was a metal picnic table in the corner near the left of the doors to the
school. The school doors weren’t open yet, we were early. I sat on the table, feet
on the bench, Jake beside me, I had started talking to Jake about a new band I’d
discovered when I saw my friend Tyler walking with “her”. She had blonde hair
with rainbow highlights in it, her eyes were the color of the ocean, and she looked
about five foot two inches tall. She had great curves though. She smiled a shy smile.
She was wearing a torn black shirt that had Korn on it. She wore black skinny jeans
with black knee-high converse. Her wrists were covered with bracelets of all
different kinds, around her neck was a necklace made of several different colored
Monster tabs and she wore thick black eyeliner that made her eyes pop. Her skin was
pale. I blinked.
	“This is Aaron, a.k.a AJ and Jake.” I heard Tyler say, I snapped out of whatever
it was that I was in and looked at him. He had dark brown hair that covered his right
eye, revealing only his left brown eye that was covered in guyliner. He wore a long
sleeved black and white striped shirt and black skinny jeans. He also wore black high
top converse. He was shorter than me by half a centimeter.
	“Hi, Jake,” The girl said shaking Jake’s hand.”AJ,” She continued before
shaking my hand, her hand was small and warm, and that’s when I noticed her nails
were painted black with rainbow specks. “I’m Rebecca; my friends back home call
me Becca.” The girl, Rebecca, said smiling.
	“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Becca.” Jake said with a friendly smile. Becca
smiled back at him. I had just nodded. “AJ? Are you coming?” Jake asked tapping
my shoulder. I blinked and looked around, everyone had left their tables, had the
bell rang? If it did, how did I not hear it? What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I
had just lost myself in thought. I hurry and stood.
	“Sorry, yeah.” I said walking with the others.
	“Is he always like this?” I heard Becca whisper. I scoffed some.
	“Only once a year, don’t worry, he’s just on his meriod, usually he’s less
boring and sappy. I heard Tyler respond. Both Jake and I hit him.
	“Shut the hell up!” Both of us said.
	“You have no idea…” I heard Jake mumble. I clucked my tongue but stayed with
them until Tyler dropped Becca off at the office. Jake and I went on ahead. I went to
my locker, Jake to his, we were a couple lockers down, away from each other, the
lockers on either side of me were empty. All three of us usually walked to first hour
	“Oh, AJ, right?” Becca’s voice came; I spun around to see her standing behind
me. I nodded. “I guess we’re locker buddies.” Becca said chuckling. I just
looked at her, her cheeks flushed red and she looked down. “Sorry, I guess that was
kind of lame…” Becca said obviously forcing a smile even though I could tell she
was embarrassed. I resisted nodding in agreement.
	“It’s okay; we’ve all got a little goofball in us.” I responded trying to
sound reassuring.
	“So, you are friendly.” Becca said. I stared at her. “You kind of had me
worried.” Becca said smiling. I’m sure I had the dumbest look on my face right
	“Uh, yeah…sorry…I’m just…” I started but I couldn’t find the right
words to describe it. What was I? Depressed? Sulking? Mourning?
	“He’s just having a difficult time right now; he’s a really nice guy, shy
even.” Jake said.
	“I’m not shy.” I argued. Jake gave me that look as if he were trying to help
me. Help me? Yeah, right, more like humiliate me! Now she was going to think I was
some shy sensitive Emo kid…I might dress the part but only because I like the
	“You two seem close, have you been friends long?” Becca asked. Jake looked at
	“A couple years.” I said eyeing Jake who was looking down with an interesting
	“We’re pretty close.” Jake said.
	“Like brothers.” I added nodding.
	“Uh-huh, I can tell.” Becca said as she got into her locker. “So, what’s
your first hour?” Becca asked, I wasn’t sure who she was asking.
	“We have the same first hour, actually.” Jake said. “Government, you?” Jake
asked her. I looked at Becca waiting. She pulled out her schedule and checked.
	“Government with Ms. Lawry.” Becca said putting up her backpack.
	“Hey!” Jake started.
	“That’s our teacher too,” I said with an obvious less amount of enthusiasm as
	“Really?” Becca asked sounding excited as she threw her locker closed. I jumped
slightly and nodded. “That’s awesome!” Becca said, her face oozing happiness. I
t was kind of cute and funny that she was so excited just because she was in the same
class as us.
	“What’re we so happy about??” Tyler asked in a mock enthusiasm voice.
	“Isn’t it great?? I’m in the same class as your friends!” Becca said smiling
	“That means that you have first hour with me too!” Tyler said happily. Becca did
a little dance.
	“Yes!” Becca said smiling and clapping her hands together. Suddenly, I felt a
sinking feeling in my stomach, I wasn’t sure why, my smile fell. That day, I
discovered that Becca had every class but one with me and Jake, Jake had every class
but two with me. I walked to my locker feeling exhausted. I huffed and grabbed my
	“Hey, AJ, can I go home with you again?” Jake asked from behind me.
	“This is almost your second month, are you sure your parents don’t care?” I
asked. He’d basically been living with me since the start of Second Semester. Him
and his dad never got along, he never told me why they fought so often recently. I
tried asking him,  but he’d just say that it was embarrassing. So, I left it
	“He doesn’t give a shit, obviously neither does your father.” Jake said, I
could hear the pout in his voice.
	“My dad’s hardly ever home…” I replied as I shut my locker. My dad had like
twenty jobs. 
	“Which…” Jake said before running to my right. “Is a good thing! C’mon, he
seems like the kind of guy to just stumble in to go to bed…” Jake said smiling,
he was like a begging puppy, the ones that you want to drop kick but can’t because
they give you the biggest eyes. I’ll admit, there were few things I could say no to
when it came to Jake. If I did say no to many things, I’d feel like a complete
asshole later, especially because of everything he’d done for me since I’d met
him. When my dad wasn’t home for New Years, he’d brought his dad’s alcohol over
and we celebrated. I sighed.
	“Fine,” I said giving in, like a puss.
	“Thanks man, you’re awesome.” Jake said.
	“I know.” I replied teasingly. We walked back to my house, once we got there I
went straight for the kitchen.
	“Hey, Aaron…” I heard Jake call from the living room.
	“What?” I called back grabbing the milk from the fridge and taking a swig form
the jug. Yeah, I’m that badass.
	“What do you think of that new chick, Becca?” Jake asked me. I put the jug down
and wiped my mouth with my arm.

‹The Scared Little Girl In The Big World› says:   13 December 2012   142494  
OMG I love it.
Jake sounds hot. 
That was awesome.
I cried. Very, very good job. You really have s voice for writing.
‹♪×Slowly×Losing×Control×♪› says:   13 December 2012   423551  

Thank you very much. <3 I appreciate your input. This is probably more
of a rough draft as well. Not entirely sure yet. 
‹The Scared Little Girl In The Big World› says:   13 December 2012   235844  
Would you be so kind and reading my poem titled The Bird? 
‹♪×Slowly×Losing×Control×♪› says :   13 December 2012   989421  

Of course, I'll look for it now. :3 


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