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This diary entry is written by SwingingInTheRain. ( View all entries )
 
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It's 4:13Category: (general)
Tuesday, 3 January 2012
10:24:21 AM (GMT)
My sleeping schedule is so fucked. 
I was going to sleep, but then my boyfriend fell asleep while mad at me. 
And I still really am not sure whether he just dumped me or not. I mean like, I guess
it doesn't matter. These last few weeks I've learned that maybe I can get by without
him. I'll fall in love elsewhere, his drama is kind of ruining it for me. Virginity
or no virginity, take that how you want it. Michael took a lot of my firsts, except
my kiss, and hand holding. I think every step thats a new one is a little more
innocence lost. That was Diego and Emerson. I think it says alot about our
relationship that I'm willing to let all those firsts go to waste and just frown a
little. 
I'm kinda eh over that, and I know if I go to bed than odds are, I won't wake up in
the morning. So I think imma just wait an hour or so, shower, get ready, and walk to
school. To ponder my thoughts, you know. 

I think this semester I'm going to be a good kid. Do all my homework, study for
tests, do my debate work, and such. I want to have something I know I'm good at.
Grades will work. If Michael really did dump me I'm not gonna try for guys, I guess
I'll just flirt a bit and whatever happens, happens. I really wouldn't mind a nerdy
guy, for once. 
Anyways, I don't want to set any rules. Because I know I'll break them. And I don't
want to say ill for sure be good, cause everyone knows I do whatever I want to. But I
guess id like to do well. Show everyone that maybe I'm worth their time. 
Also, I want to be good at debate. I want to win a tournament. I want to get bids. I
want to get to state this year, and nationals the next. Next year I want to go to
national circuit tourneys, and qualify for the TOC where all the good debaters go.
National winning. I want to get scholarships, and be viewed as good. 
Yeah, dream big Bren. Maybe I should just go fly a kite. Not much more to say here,
just pondering life.

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