They say age is just a number.....they lied...


I must be an utter idiot.
I never even thought about it
It must be karma.
I felt that feeling,
For the first time since him
and it was real.
It was so real.
But then again... it wasn't.
The feeling, is something that was out of my reach.
he, was out of my reach.
I wish he was closer..
In both distance and age.
It's silly, I never thought it would happen.
I assumed, due to who introduced us
That he was maybe 16.
I was so wrong.
Though I think, he assumed the same thing.
It's silly.
You can call me an idiot.
I really didn't know him for long at all
But from the first time I talked to him
I just got this, feeling.
It felt right.
All of it.
It was just right.
Everything.
And he was just perfect.
In every single way.
We were, exactly like each other
In all of the right ways.
We wanted the same type of relationship
We like the same music,
Spend our time doing the same random shit,
Feel the same way about things in general,
Have similar pasts,
Operate in similar ways.
He was just overall the closest thing to perfection I've ever met.
But, I guess this is why they say 
Perfection doesn't exist.
It's more tuned to--
What's  perfect for you
Will never be yours. 
But someone else
who thinks they aren't perfect.
I can truly tell you.
I love this person.
Even though I didn't know him long
I love him more than anything
And knowing that 
It's age that is in the way
Age, which is mere numbers.
Is stopping me.
Kills me.
It's eating me alive.
To a point of killer depression,
and not being able to eat. 
I.... Maybe I will move on,
I really don't know
When ever I try to talk to him
It's awkward.
Even though we agreed to be friends
I guess, it is only natural...
I know for a fact
That just knowing him like that
For those few days
Has changed my life.
Really it has.
In so many ways.
How I think.
How I feel.
It's mind blowing
to know people like that exist.
That Im able to feel such feelings.
I adore it.
I just wish I could hold onto them forever 
and make him, make those feelings--
mine and mine alone.
But it's truly impossible,
in the view that,
It wont happen.
No matter how hard you try,
it won't.
Right now?
We'll see how it goes.
For now, 
Just having him in my life
in some way, even as a friend
It's made my life,
better in so many ways,
Even if the fact
that age is in a way
eats me alive
I'll somehow make it.
He'll always be
That one person,
 My almost lover

" Goodbye, My almost lover.
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I'm trying not to think about you
Can't you just let  be
So long my luckless romance
My back, is turned on you
Should've know you'd bring me heartbreak
Almost lovers, always do.~"