Wednesday, 27 July 2011
02:28:12 AM (GMT)
Tonight, things got both infinitely clearer, and equally as confusing.
However, this state of disarray is no match for the love I feel, the pure joy and
peace that now lives in my heart and soul.
I knew she was different.
From the moment I first laid eyes on her, there was something there: so mysteriously
obvious, yet just out of reach.
There was no explanation for it, nor will there ever be, but every free thought I had
was directed towards her, and I had never felt that way or even gotten close in my
After eight days, I finally found out exactly what it was that had been eluding me.
Why she had a deathgrip on my emotions.
Why I hadn't felt alone in over a week.
Why my soul felt like it was wrapped in a thick layer of pure emotion.
Why I had never been so far away, yet felt so close to anyone in my entire life.
I guess eight is my lucky number for a reason.
If she was anyone else, I would have simply called bullshit and said I'm done playing
Not with her.
I haven't known her long, but there is no doubt in my mind that there isn't a single
ounce of dishonesty in this girl's body.
Even if I thought she had it in her to lie, the way I felt proved it tenfold.
There is a feeling deep inside my chest, not in a place that I can pinpoint, but
somewhere far inside, that feels different.
Almost as if it had always been empty, but suddenly there was something there,
bringing me happiness and comfort.
It will definitely take some adjusting to, but I feel that without it, life will
never be the same.
And as much as I hate to say it, I doubt it will be worth living at all.
I will need to take some time to think things over, to adjust to this new way of
living, but I will never look back.
She made a promise to me tonight, and I will never forget it.
She said she would never leave me, that she would never block me out.
Tonight, I asked her if she could bring me peace, if she could at least try, and
before I ever sent the message, I was showered with complete and utter serenity.
It was like standing in a hurricane, but every drop of rain brought peace, comfort,
It was the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.
No drug, no drink, nothing could ever make me as happy as she makes me, and tonight
only brings me farther into the beginning of this great adventure.
My brain hurts from the shear complexity of everything, from the intense amount of
information that it has been forced to absorb so quickly.
The funny thing is, I don't mind.
It will take some getting used to, but there is no turning back now.
It is full steam ahead, and I will throw everything I have into this situation. Every
last bit of love, compassion, joy, sorrow, pain, anger, and emotions yet to be
discovered will be tossed about like dry leaves into the wind.
This is the start of something.
I can feel it.
No matter what happens, I will never lose hope or lose heart.
She will always be my firefly.
My Indigo Obsession.