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This diary entry is written by JessyZeDoomThing. ( View all entries )
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108 Things to do at Wal-MartCategory: (general)
Thursday, 26 June 2008
02:38:25 AM (GMT)
108 Things To Do At Wal-Mart

1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them 
and stranding them at strategic locations.

2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.

3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals 
throughout the day.

4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get 
to join in.

5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the 
spray air fresheners.

6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.

7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.

8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, 
especially thin narrow aisles.

10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I 
think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what 

11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off 
and turn the volumes to "10".

12. Play with the automatic doors.

13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen 
you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid 

14. While walking through the clothing department, ask 
yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, 

15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.

16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're 
taking it for a "test drive."

17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about 
five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the 

18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store 
as your playing field.

19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look 
mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"

20. Put M&M's on layaway.

21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.

22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll 
only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.

23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from 
the other aisles.

24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around 
saying,"...I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!"

26. TP as much of the store as possible.

27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.

28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" 
upside down.

29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, 
"Why won't you people just leave me alone?"

30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired 
employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any 
Shnerples here?"

31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale 
battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.

32. Take bets on the battle described above.

33. Hold indoor shopping cart races.

34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from 
"Mission: Impossible."

35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while 
squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I 
need some tampons!!"

36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.

37. Try on bras over top of your clothes.

38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.

39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.

40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to 
your Twinkies?"

41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

42. Two words: "Marco Polo."

43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet 
food aisle, etc.

44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

45. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the 

46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at 
something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.

48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, 
assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those 
voices again!"

49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.

50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and 
relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain 
that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little 
umbrella in it.

51. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice 
possible "sex and candy"

52. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your 
head and walk around the store casually.

53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the 

54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.

55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run 
between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"

56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror 
while you pick your nose.

57. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. 
(Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)

58. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly 
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act 
as spastic as possible.

59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and 
women's signs on the doors of the rest room.

60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch 
everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.

61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with 
various funnels.

62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse 
through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare 
them into believing that the clothes are talking to them

63. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you 
and get into a very serious conversation. Ex: The person is 
breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you 
do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was 
another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME 
darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto 
the ground screaming and having convulsions.

64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people 

65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and 
begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."

66. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of 
shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the 
boxes and throw it in various aisles.

67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.

68. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every 
perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another 
girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. 
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy 
shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. 
"hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."

69. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples 
carts when they don't realize it!

70. Walk around the perfume department with a bottle of 
super strong perfume and spray people as they walk by. Lean 
in and sniff them then jump back and wave your hand in front 
of your nose and saying "Oh god, your over powering the 

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

73. In the food aisle, pretend like there's a little bug, slowly 
move your head to the right, then swing your head to the left 
as if your trying to follow it. Slowly lower your head to the 
ground, then start spinning around in circles stomping like 
crazy. Then finally yell out "Yes!!! I got it!!! Wow, that was 
the biggest Cockrouch I've ever seen, i think it was pregnant!!! 
Hey look, there's another one!!!" Then Repeat.

74. Repeat 73 with a can of bug spray.

75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. 
Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc.

76. Ride around on those electric cars and pretend that your a 
prissy English Man. Say things like "Cheerio, good man." to 
people who walk by. And don't forget to have perfect posture.

77. Start grunting like Beavis and Butthead while chasing your 
friends up and down aisles trying to run over them with those 
electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they 
don't know you.

78. Spend all your money riding on those little rides for 
toddlers. Fit the character; if your on a hoarse, then pretend 
that your a cowboy, etc.. And If a little kid comes over 
wanting to use it, start barking at them until
they run away crying.

79. Have silly string fights with a friend. Hide behind 
customers and "accidentally" hit the people instead of your 

80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me".

81. Start pocketing any and all free samples.

82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins.

82. Walk up to the customer service and when they say 
"Hello, how may I help you?" say "Yes, I'll have a Quarter 
Pounder with cheese, one strawberry shake, a large order of 
french fries and a diet coke." And when they start to talk, say 
"Oh, to go". Then when they say that they can't give it to you 
say "Oh, This is because I'm gay isn't it? I'd expect this from 
Caldors, but not Walmart. People who are gay are just like 
everyone else your know. You digust me" Then walk away 
mumbling to yourself. If your a guy, try to act as valley- girl-
like as you can

83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people 
asking where the rash cream is because your family and all 
your friends seem to have a rash too.

84. When your alone, have loud conversations with your 
"multiple personalities". Have an English man, a Southern 
person, someone from New York, a Grandma, and a 5 year old 
girl all at the same time. You have to use accents. They should 
sound like this: "Great idea good fellow, we shall have a jolly 
good time.(English)" "Look, oall I wanna do, is wok ta 
Stawbucks and git a cawfee(New York)" Etc.

85. Start "dancing" like mad. Basically, just wail your arms 
and legs around like your having some kind of massive 

86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the 

87. Stick your arm in your jacket and suspiciously start to 
leave the store. Get really tense and start to lean over as your 
walking through the doors As if your suspecting the alarms to 
go off. Then when it doesn't go off, let out a big sigh. Then 
quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away 
as fast as your can.

88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, 
your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while 
singing the circus song.

89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department

90. Put lingerie in the men's department.

91. Put super sexy lingerie in old men's carts when they turn 

92. When your alone, start screaming help and yelling that 
someone istrying to rape you. Then when everyone runs over, 
start crying and saying "All I ever wanted was a little 
attention" Then run away crying.

93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light. After a while, 
start saying blink everytime it blinks. Don't look away, just 
stay mesmerized.

94. Walk up to a lady and calmly say "Help me. The voices in 
my head are telling me to do naughty things." Then clap your 
hands over your ears, fly yell head around and start screaming 
NO NO NO!!!!" Then suddenly stop, look her straight in the 
eyes, and Calmly say "I...will start...a fire..." The pull out a 
zippo and start laughing hysterically in an evil way. But don't 
light the zippo, just hold it closed.

95. Light a match under a spinkler.

96. Walk up to someone and say "Oh, so your back for more. I 
warned you never to come back here. Wait here while i go get 
my shot gun". Then walk away.

97. Walk up to a guy and say "Oh my god, is it you? Oh my 
god it is!!! I haven't seen you in so long!!!!" Then kiss him. 
Then slap and him say "Why didn't you ever call me??" Then 
walk away. Much more affective if you're a guy.

98. Stand next to a maniquin and pretend that your a 
mannequin. Try to hold the same position for as long as 
possible. Then finally as someone is walking by, check your 
watch and say. "Finally, my shift is done. I really don't get 
paid enough to do this"

99. Start singing oldies songs in to megaphone.

100. Act like your about to cry and ask people "Have you seen 
my mommy?"

101. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then
stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in. 

102. If you're female: Take some men's clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to
try them on. Act shocked and insist "But I AM a man!" See if the attendant says
anything. If you're a man, vice versa. 

103. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV?s to Young & the Restless, and
watch while sobbing loudly. 

104. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash
cream and lice remedies are. 

105. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and

106. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't
know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until
somebody throws you out. 

107. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash.
Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins. 

108. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited
about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too.

Orange_Juice_Roolz says:   26 June 2008   175468  
this is sooooooo funny did u make it up????
JessyZeDoomThing says:   26 June 2008   175449  
No, I stole it from someone.
Kirti says:   26 June 2008   824349  

lol. I don't have the guts to do that stuff alone but with a friends
with me, in a city far enough away that I don't need to worry about
repercusions of being banned for life.... SURE! well maybe not the
calling for help from a person trying to rape you one. but I love the
alarm clock thing.
Orange_Juice_Roolz says:   27 June 2008   848854  
i showed this 2 my brother last night and we were laughing our heads
wwe_rules88 says:   27 June 2008   175313  
i will do some of those things 

but for fun me and u can do 101 together
Zelda3443 says :   22 November 2008   188167  


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