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This diary entry is written by sicosquierl. ( View all entries )

I'm in love with my best friend (he's a guy)Category: (general)
Sunday, 3 December 2006
01:12:09 AM (GMT)
love, yes i said it, love. not like a high school crush, but real can't stop
thinking about him, can't stop dreaming about him love. and God I HATE IT!!! I hate
beiging attracted to my best friend. it's just not right. i mean, HE'S MY BEST
FRIEND!!!!!!! i wish we had never bonded or else i wouldn't feel this bad. i wish he
wasn't the one person who can make me feel good about myself. i sometimes wish he had
never come to our school, that way i could never feel this way about him. and i've
tried so many times to stop liking him but it never works. another thing that stinks
is that i think he likes me, but he won't admit it. probably because there is a rumer
that we have been dating. stupid huh. anyway, i thihe likes me mostly because he just
seems to care about me alot sometimes. Like last month, we had to do a school play.
and while we were backstage i just started hitting myself and scratching my arms with
pencils and props.(last year my english teacher sent me into a depretion where i
sometimes hurt myself. i didn't cut myself, but i would just start hitting my arms
legs and face with anything hard i could find. i would do anything to give myself
brueses. anyway back to the story.) he saw he doing this and started making sure that
i couldn't reach any of the stuff (he's like 5' 5" and I'm 4'11") i would try and
take them but he wouldn't let me. so i finally got realy mad at him. i remember
yelling at him in the lowest voice i could use. this way the teachers wouldn't get
angry.  i remember telling him to give the stuff back and him shaking his head and
saying that i shouldn't hurt my body that way. i asked him why he cared what i did to
my body. he just looked at me for a second then just started to read his scrip. i'i
just thought of another reason he wouldn't tel me. Last year on our middle school
trip he and i were playing chess and the bus stoped at a mall. after we put the game
up and we started standing up, someone pushed him a little bit and he fell on top of
me. and that's not all , when he fell he accedentally grabed my butt and when he
tried to stand up and help me up, someone bumped him again and he accedentally grabed
my chest.  ohman, that was like the king of all rumor starters! plus the fact that
for the rest of the trip i was fiurious with him. 
to tel you the trueth i sometimes ask myself why he would even like me as a friend. i
mean sometimes, he's the kind of person who only cares about looks. i mean, c'mon,
he's had at least 5 girlfriends, and the three that i've seen are pretty good
looking. and let's face it, my friends say im pretty, but i could never compete with
i wish e wasn't so easy to talk to. i mean one day, we just started a conversation
about sex! it was really weird. we don't mention that day.AT ALL!

for anyone who reads this, im thinking about telling him my feelings at the end of
the school year, c'ause it's the last grade in this school before we go. just please
tell me if i should of shouldnt tell him.

TEMPLE01 says:   3 December 2006   575238  
only tell him if he feels the same for you and if your willing to
risk your relationship with him......
hina suggests:   3 December 2006   797957  
Allow me to share these quotes with you...

If you want to experience love, you have to take the risk.
Love's always worth the risk.

The only things in life you regret are the risks that you didn't

Don't use your eyes to look for love for it's your heart that knows
it. Let yourself make mistakes and do learn from this. It is from this
that you will accumulate your knowledge as to whether the person you
met is the one or not.
Mewmewkitten says:   3 December 2006   251699  
I think you should tell him before the end because if he likes you
back then you guys could be happier than you might be when the school
year is over
Mewmewkitten says:   3 December 2006   962916  
the thing i said up there is a suggesting not what i said
Sunkist_Hannah writes:   3 December 2006   718934  
Well. What is wrong? Seriously. Be his 5th girlfirend. Make him love
you. (in a good way) He'll be smart enough to know what is the best
way to handle it.
sicosquierl says:   3 December 2006   655189  
thank y'all for your suggestions!!!
‹FMLYHM› says:   3 December 2006   396621  
if u love him just tell him and if he likes u back then perfect! but
if he dosent then SAY that u wanna stay friends with him
Saucy_Chic says:   9 December 2006   168379  
ohh i loved my best friend but i never asked him out !when he moved
house the day b4 he said that he loved me!!!!!!
i never saw him again ,i never got to be his gf
ISLANDBABI1234 says:   12 December 2006   124734  

SoftballChick says:   17 December 2006   382649  
TELL HIM.I agree with ISLANDBABI1234.Taking risks at our age is a
good thing.You'll never have another chance in life.Unless you are
going to the same High School.
burberry_girlie says :   21 March 2007   312733  
don't worry! calmly tell him how u feel weh ur alone with him. if he
likes u, all will b well, and if not, that tell him u still wanna b


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