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This diary entry is written by DrangonAngel. ( View all entries )
 
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Over whelmedCategory: (general)
Tuesday, 2 May 2017
04:28:54 PM (GMT)
I hate how the feeling of life is crushing me again I'm testy and am feeling
attacked by everyone even though I know they are not attacking me. The baby that
continues to grow inside of me is making me paranoid about its arrival and due date,
I'm stupidly taking another job, but I have to, so that I can fix my stupid car
before my old beater takes a shit. Goose is attacking me once again and not trusting
a fucken word I say, I wanna just sew my mouth shut permanently. or cut out my
tongue. My voice was never there anyway, every time I open my mouth I end up
regretting it. My voice comes through me with my art and physical actions. Why bother
speak with a voice when its not listened to anyway? My soulmate continues to call for
me to return to our family and now I wonder what is holding me back? Its not the fear
of him anymore, its not the fact that this baby could be someone else's, its
something inside of me, I feel weak and scared. Like I can't handle anything anymore,
I'm already alone with my life its not like I'll be more alone.  My head hurts as i
ponder all of this and my heart hurts as I cry over... what? what am I even crying
over? Maybe its the pregnancy hormones i don't know anymore.

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