Monday, 8 September 2014
08:34:07 AM (GMT)
I've had a hard time sleeping. Is this what depression is? I'm secretly sad all the
time. I can barely sleep because all I do is listen to this same song and think of
her. When I do try to sleep I keep thinking of her. All the good times we had
together. And then comes the bad. Then the worst. And then I wake up screaming "I'm
Sorry! (Her Name)". Sometimes its just her name. I honestly never thought I'd feel
this way over a girl. But now I understand. I'm this way, because I really love her.
I've told her. But its like she doesn't care. She says she does but she never shows
it. I want to believe her. But I can't. All I see is her with some guy that I know
isn't good for her. Don't ask how I know I've just been good at that for some reason.
I've shown her how much I love her but I feel ignored. I want to cry but tears barely
come out. Then I get angry. I get angry and sad. Once that happens I'm a time bomb.
And unfortunately, she's been the one getting the anger. That just makes me more sad.
I don't mean it. It just comes out when I least expect it. I've tried letting her go
and move on but that just doesn't work. I'm stuck on her. No other woman can get my
mind of her. She's the only thing on my mind at night. I'm starting to worry if I'm
obsessed with her. A lot of people say they love someone and they turn out to be
stalkers or psychopaths. I'm not like that. I'd do anything to protect the one I
love. I just hope she knows that.