Thursday, 3 January 2013
09:05:04 PM (GMT)
The screams of the one year old pierced the ears of his mother, who flinched, holding
him at arm's length, "Aiden, darling, listen, you liked him in the park!"
"DON'T WANT. NO."
"Well, he's here now, so you have to play. Be nice, okay?" She forced a pleasant
smile and placed her son on the floor, dropping his velvet tricorn onto his head,
"See, you can play pirates! Maybe Salem likes pirates!"
"HATE OO MUMMY." The dark haired boy scowled, pulling the hat further onto his head
and crawling over to his foam sword, which he promptly started chewing on.
"That's nice dear..." She breezed, leaving the boy in the middle of the room and
opening the door to reveal another boy grinning with pride as he ran clumsily into
the room, and closed the door behind them.
"'Ello!" The new boy said, standing over Aiden simply because he could stand and the
other couldn't. "I'm free! I'm a big boy! Bigger den you." He said, although
Aiden thought he sounded rather too self-important for someone he had only known a
day, and at three, really shouldn't be wearing a pastel blue baby suit.
"You look stoopid." He stated, although half of his mouth was occupied with the
The new boy's grin vanished, a firm pout taking it's place, "But I can count to firty
and say alligator! Alligator alligator!"
"It's THirty, id'it. With a TH sound." Aiden corrected, frowning, "And I know big
"Weally? Like what?"
"Uh..." He paused, looking around, his sharp green eyes settling on a tea-stained
piece of paper, "TWEASURE MAP!"
"Dat's... smaller than my word! I win! Ha!"
Aiden rolled his eyes, resorting to chewing his sword again, "Wha's oor name?"
"Salem. I can spell it too."
"I can spell my name. Anyone who can't is stoopider den you." Aiden said, holding
the sword in his mouth and gripping his yellow booty-clad feet so that he rolled onto
his back, "Oo 'ike piwates, Salem? A'coz I'm a Captain. I'm Captain Aiden of de
HIGH SEAS! And you can be my... my..." He scrunched his nose, trying to think of
people who were less important than Captains, "First Mate Say-Say!" He nodded,
rolling over and crawling to his new friend, "Play with me!"
Salem paused for a moment, dropping onto the floor next to Aiden and considering the
offer, "Uh... Are we piwates or good peoples?"
"Stoopid Say-Say." He laughed (never admitting he couldn't pronouce Salem), "No such
fing as good. Daddy told me so. Dere's just cleverness. So we can be weally clever
piwates!" He nodded firmly, which seemed to satisfy Salem.
"Kay! Go Cap'n Aiden! Hoist the fingy on the big stick!"
"It's a sail on a mast. Id'it." He grumbled, although played along anyway. This
new boy was the first person who wanted to play pirates, maybe he shouldn't be so
hasty in losing his first friend...
"NO NO NO!" Aiden screeched, battering the poor boy with his sword, "DAT'S SILLY.
YOU CAN'T SWIM IN SHARK AFESTED CUSTARD!"
"But custard's howibble and yucky! I want jam!"
"YOU CAN'T SWIM FROO JAM!" He crawled away as fast as he could, taking refuge behind
a table leg and crying loudly in the hope that Mummy would come and save him from
this insufferable moron. Salem, however, followed crossly, stamping his feet
"I liked you but now I don't and you're NOT VERY NICE!" He screamed, jumping up and
down twice to emphasise his point.
"WELL YOU'RE ANNOYING AND BIGGER DEN ME AND I DON'T LIKE YOU." Aiden shouted,
successfully trumping the 'I-Can-Be-Louder-Than-You' competition and stopping Salem
in his stamping.
He frowned, his bottom lip wobbling a little as he looked at the crying mess of
yellow jumpsuit and dark hair, "Y-you don't like m-me?"
"NOT ONE BIT."
"B-but... I liked you..."
Aiden looked up, his red cheeked, tear streaked face softening slightly as he saw the
older boy flop onto the floor with a thump. "W-weally?"
Aiden shrank back into himself a little, swallowing before saying in a small voice,
"I like you weally..."
"Uh-huh!" He nodded eagerly, shuffling over to Salem, "More den jam. And I like jam
"I don't believe you..."
"More den jam. And... piwates! A-and... and bugs!" Aiden said, smiling hopefully
at his friend, "Weally twuly!"
Salem said nothing, but looked up at the chubby face resting on his knee and grinning
at him, and let out a giggle, shuffling around to hug Aiden tightly. "We can be
fwends, den. Forebbur and ebbur."
"To affinity and beyond!"