Wednesday, 5 September 2012
06:27:14 AM (GMT)
Harry rapidly began to regret his late night rendezvous with Dobby. The next day, he
decided to confide in Ron and Hermione what he had done. They both looked shocked.
Ron spoke up first.
'Mate, no. You cant've. This is Dobby we're talking about.'
'Yep, the very one.' Next Hermione started.
'Are you sure you don't have an STD? You should really go to Madam Pomfrey and get
yourself tested, and there are several books you can consult, like Newt
Scamander's guide to wizarding woes: The big s word.'
'Please don't tell anyone.' pleaded Harry.
But someone must have overheard because the next morning when Harry walked in for
breakfast, everyone stared at him and whispers broke out.
'Is that just cream or did you have another round with the elf?' Shouted Malfoy.
Every student in the hall laughed loudly. Evidently, the teachers knew of this as
well. Not long after he had sat down, McGonagall tapped him on the shoulder.
'Come with me, Potter.'
They went along toward her office, McGonagall striding along and Harry jogging to
keep up. But she suddenly took a sharp right and knocked smartly on Snape's office.
Wild thoughts were racing through Harry's head: 'Shit on a crumpet, how did she find
out? How is Snape going to punish me? Who blabbed? What if Snape...' but his train of
thought was interrupted by Snape leering unpleasantly at him.
'I'll leave him with you, Severus. We won't punish him; the talking-to will be
'Come, Potter. We've some talking to do.'
'Your, ahem, visit with the elf did not go unnoticed. Filch's cat knew he was
up to something and snuck into Gryffindor tower with Dobby. Mrs Norris saw everything
and notified Mr Filch. Filch climbed his ladder and saw everything. EVERYTHING,
'Oh Lord, what have I done', groaned Harry, head in hands.
'It seems you are not the first Potter to go the way of bestiality.'
'Yes, boy. We'll start with James. One day, he stayed back after Quidditch practice.
He went off into the Forbidden Forest, saying he had forgotten something after Care
of Magical Creatures. After he had been missing for a couple of hours, we sent Hagrid
to look for him. He was found in the Hippogriff pen, having sex with a mare.'
'Oh God why...'
'Now for your mother.'
Snape's peculiar leer faltered.
'One day she was missing at break. One of her friends said she had gone to the
Owlery. We asked Hagrid to go up and see if she was in trouble. Hagrid found her
giving a large tawny owl a blow job.'
'So, Potter, you shall get no punishment. Off with you. And don't tell Mudblood and
Ginger. This is between you, me, and Dumbledore. Oh, and Hagrid too.'