Ok, well maybe I've grown a little "obsessive?" over the girl I still truly
love...But yet she doesn't feel the same way. Well yea, you can say i'm losing my
fucking mind (WHICH I AM) But maybe, just maybe she'll soon understand me?    Just
last night I slipped myself a pink Xannies then had to call my fucking therapist. He
told me "That I should calm down and too relax." Meaning what!?!? Then I hung up the
phone and felt nothing like myself...I danced all around my house taking more pink
Xannies (SLOWLY LOSING MY MIND)    Now that Shay is gone she'll never fucking
understand me...I usually just sit and fantasize about my one true lover. Just
thinking about her makes my heart skip a beat, I get all smiley, and I gain much
happiness  I've never really felt this way about a girl before...I dont think its
very natural or healthy??? As she texts and talks to other guys I really start to
think suicidal thoughs...I know CRAZY IN LOVE RIGHT!? Xannies dont help much but at
least that help ease the pain.   I just prey she will at least miss me a little when
i'm dead & gone. 

In my previous journal entry I told her that she was gorgeous and that I really
wanted to be with her...Yet, she never gave me a direct answer? So, I'll ask once
more...    Now Shay I want you to think about it. 
Now I finally built up enough courage to ask you on a date...(Would you say yes!?)   
And the countdown starts now...
One, two, you're the girl that I want
Three, four, five, six, seven, shit
Eight is the bullets if you say no after all this
And I just couldn't take it, you're so motherfuckin' gorgeous
Gorgeous, baby you're gorgeous... Yes, i'm inlove with you and all I want from you is
just to say "YES"