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This diary entry is written by Zelda3443. ( View all entries )
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7 reasons not to mess with children.Category: (general)
Thursday, 25 June 2009
04:04:46 PM (GMT)
7 reasons not to mess with children. 

 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was
physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a
very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was
swallowed by a whale.  Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible. 
 The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah'.  The teacher asked,
'What if Jonah went to hell?'   The little girl replied, 'Then you ask him'. 

  A  Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were
drawing.She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.  As she got to
one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.  The girl
replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused and said, 'But no one knows what God
looks like.'  Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied,'They will in a minute.'     A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten
Commandments with her five and six year olds.  After explaining the commandment to
'honour' thy Father and thy Mother,she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?'  Without missing a beat one little boy (the
oldest of a family) answered,'Thou shall not kill.' 

   One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair
sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and
inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?'  Her mother replied,
'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my
hairs turns white.'  The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and
then said,'Mommy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'    

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them
each to buy a copy of the group picture.  'Just think how nice it will be to look at
it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's
Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's
the teacher,she's dead.'  

  A  teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the
matter clearer,she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head,the blood, as you know,
would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'  'Yes,' the class said.  'Then
why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't
run into my feet?'  A little fellow shouted, 'Cause your feet ain't empty.'  

  The  children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and
posted on the apple tray:   'Take only ONE . God is watching.' Moving further along
the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip
 A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples.'

orangelove47 says:   25 June 2009   176979  
haha funny!
Zelda3443 says:   26 June 2009   246668  
:D I got it in a email and loved it!
‹♥DesireHope♥› says:   26 June 2009   714411  
LOL I love this it is so funny!
wolfiewheeee says:   26 June 2009   585815  
‹[DAHNANANA..BATMAN!!]› says:   27 June 2009   131559  
HA! I love the last one! xD
‹Jinx Ellise› writes :   29 June 2009   935525  
--- 1st one  LOL The teacher was walking rigt into that one! x0

--- 3rd its a little "white" lie (pun intended) =P

---- last one x) haha! 

i luv it!


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