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This diary entry is written by ‹Ambulance›. ( View all entries )
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Funny as hellCategory: (general)
Saturday, 8 November 2008
04:26:09 AM (GMT)
Dear Husband:

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a
good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two
weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today
and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done,
cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate
in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me
you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you
don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West
Virginia together!

Have a great life! > Your EX-Wife


Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I
have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what
you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too
bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the
first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to
not say anything if you can't say anything nice.

When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER,
because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on
that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a
coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and
your negligee was $49.99.

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I
discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought
us two tickets to Jamaica.

But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your
letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope
that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

kiiiwi says:   8 November 2008   153337  
den är säkert asbra ... orkade bara inte läsa den . :P
monza7 says:   8 November 2008   174578  
what language is that KIIWI!!?!?!?!
Conspiring says:   8 November 2008   192397  
The title fits this well. XDD
‹Ambulance› says:   8 November 2008   236222  
Monza, that would be Swedish
Alex_is_a_beastin_blondie says:   9 November 2008   428832  
that is beast
‹ÿ♥šhi♪› says:   10 November 2008   678922  
aww she fuckin freakin overreacted!! oh i wouldve felt so
baddd lolz
‹shii-chan♥› says:   10 November 2008   563824  
yeah, the title fits it.
imagine, 10 million.
tiggerlemon101 says :   30 December 2008   961361  
L. O. effing. L.

That was so ridiculously hilarious... 


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