Monday, 15 September 2008
10:49:12 PM (GMT)
"Ugh!!! That was hard!" Janice complained as we filed to our lockers for our
"No it wasn't! It was just algebra! How could you think that was hard?"
"Cause i'm not a math genious like you! God, why do you have to make me feel bad!?"
And she stalked away. I tried to catch her, but everyone started filing into the
halls to get to their lockers. So, i walked to mine. I got my homework all ready in
my backpack and went to go wait for my bus.
As i stood outside in my bus line, waiting to get on the bus, i looked all around me,
hoping to see Janice. Maybe she wanted to apologize? I didn't see anything at first,
then i saw her. She was sitting in the courtyard, all curled up. her back was slowly
going up and down. She seemed to be crying. I walked over to see her. i was worried.
"Jan, what's wrong?" i asked. I walked closer and sat down. at first she seemed fine
then i noticed she had blood all over her wrist.
"Jan! what are you doing!?" I yelled. She didn't answer. she just looked up at me,
with her tears still running down her face, falling into the grass. "What happened?"
Again, no answer, but her tears did stop. now she looked angry.
"why do you care? No one cares about me!" she yelled, and ran away.
I was left to stand there, completely in shock, as it started to rain. I didn't even
noticeat first, then i snapped out of it and ran to my bus.
The next day, as i stood in the hall getting my books out of my locker. everyone was
bustling around me, bumping into me. then, i felt one much harder. i turned around
quicly, just in time to see Janice shuffling away. I tried to talk to her, but i
didn't have the chance. the bell rang just as i was catching up with her.
In class, Janice was surprisinly unattentive. Before, she was a great student. She
always listened, and was a great participant. Today, she seemed to be elsewhere. When
the bell rang at the end of the day, i ran up to Janice, hoping to get a hint of an
When i got up to her, i grabbed her wrists. As i had expected, there was a cut on her
left wrist, but what i hadn't expected was to see more than one cut. There were a
"Janice, what's wrong? why have you been doing this to yourself?" she looked up at
me, and tears formed in her eyes. She didn't let them fall though.
"My dad left this summer. He just left. now my mom doesn't stop drinking, and has
started to hit me. I jusr thought if i was out of the way, she might get her life
"Jan, killing yourself isn't going to help your mom. How does that make sense?"
"I knew you wouldn't understand." she muttered.
"No, i do understand. when my dad left i felt the same way, but i knew i had to be
there for my mom. With me gone I knew it would just make things worse."
"But how did you stop yourself, when you just felt like... like..."
"like life would be better if it wasn't ... well... living."
"Yah, i guess."
"Well, all you need to do is remember there are many people that care about you,
including your mother and me."
"She has an odd way of showing her love."
"Yah, well, she's hurt. She doesn't know what to do."
We walked down the hall towards our buses. I hoped she would listen to me. Then, when
i came to school the next day, i knew she hadn't.