This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
|Things that Embarrass/Scare Steve||Category: (general)|
Thursday, 24 January 2008
09:51:35 AM (GMT)
That's probably enough for now :P Not quite sure what compelled me to write this, but
I felt like doing so and so I did.
- Buying 'how to draw' books. Why? Because the shop assistant will class me
as someone who buys books on how to draw because I want a 'hobby'! I'm meant to be
able to draw naturally >_>. Though, I bought it with a book on M. C. Escher so I
don't feel so bad
- Listening to music tagged as 'emo' on last.fm. Why? Because it's emo! :P
I like emo culture though, quite a lot, I've been meaning to give the music a try,
especially since it's got links to punk (another genre I've been meaning to look
into). I cringed for the first minute of the first track, due to the 'merican accent
and the emoness, but after that it got okay. It seems that emo music often has a
rather chunky rhythm (and rock with rhythm is one of my favourite things), which
explains why all the people I know that listen to emo generally like dance too. Oh,
just discovered, compared to my music emo tends to need a lot of bass to make it
sound good. I guess my music might have the bass accentuated.
- Wearing new things that I think look pretteh. The things I like are
generally a bit... noticeable, and so I worry a lot about what people will think. The
first stage is showing my family, since they'll inevitably have the most mocking
reaction. After that I'll wear it out, and comparatively few people will notice
(unless it's especially loud).
- New people and new places. I'm a bit of an introvert, and being alone
with lots of new people in a new place, especially if I'm alone, makes me go very
quiet. Last time this happened I had to leave the room a couple of times because it
was just so intense.
- Meeting other people's parents/friends. This also scares me a fair bit.
Not sure why... just something that freaks me out.
- Clothes shopping, particularly shoes. I think this has something to do
with my experiences shopping with my mother when small... I absolutely loathed it. At
that time I had absolutely no interest in clothes or shoes, and so my mother would
take me out and ask if I liked something, I'd say "It's alright", and she would go
"do you like it?", and I would shrug. This led to lots of scary tension and anger. I
can barely deal with stepping in a clothes shop, I have this huge fear that I'm
looking at the wrong thing and that people will notice. Actually buying something...
I think I might die >_>
- Being without my coat. I've had my coat for an age, and it goes with me
pretty much everywhere in the winter. When it starts to get warm... I know I should
leave it at home, but I always feel really nervous about not having it. I hear that
everyone feels this to a certain extent, but I feel it a fair bit. I'm getting better
with this though.
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