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This diary entry is written by neoeno. ( View all entries )
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Things that Embarrass/Scare SteveCategory: (general)
Thursday, 24 January 2008
02:51:35 PM (GMT)
  • Buying 'how to draw' books. Why? Because the shop assistant will class me as someone who buys books on how to draw because I want a 'hobby'! I'm meant to be able to draw naturally >_>. Though, I bought it with a book on M. C. Escher so I don't feel so bad
  • Listening to music tagged as 'emo' on Why? Because it's emo! :P I like emo culture though, quite a lot, I've been meaning to give the music a try, especially since it's got links to punk (another genre I've been meaning to look into). I cringed for the first minute of the first track, due to the 'merican accent and the emoness, but after that it got okay. It seems that emo music often has a rather chunky rhythm (and rock with rhythm is one of my favourite things), which explains why all the people I know that listen to emo generally like dance too. Oh, just discovered, compared to my music emo tends to need a lot of bass to make it sound good. I guess my music might have the bass accentuated.
  • Wearing new things that I think look pretteh. The things I like are generally a bit... noticeable, and so I worry a lot about what people will think. The first stage is showing my family, since they'll inevitably have the most mocking reaction. After that I'll wear it out, and comparatively few people will notice (unless it's especially loud).
  • New people and new places. I'm a bit of an introvert, and being alone with lots of new people in a new place, especially if I'm alone, makes me go very quiet. Last time this happened I had to leave the room a couple of times because it was just so intense.
  • Meeting other people's parents/friends. This also scares me a fair bit. Not sure why... just something that freaks me out.
  • Clothes shopping, particularly shoes. I think this has something to do with my experiences shopping with my mother when small... I absolutely loathed it. At that time I had absolutely no interest in clothes or shoes, and so my mother would take me out and ask if I liked something, I'd say "It's alright", and she would go "do you like it?", and I would shrug. This led to lots of scary tension and anger. I can barely deal with stepping in a clothes shop, I have this huge fear that I'm looking at the wrong thing and that people will notice. Actually buying something... I think I might die >_>
  • Being without my coat. I've had my coat for an age, and it goes with me pretty much everywhere in the winter. When it starts to get warm... I know I should leave it at home, but I always feel really nervous about not having it. I hear that everyone feels this to a certain extent, but I feel it a fair bit. I'm getting better with this though.
That's probably enough for now :P Not quite sure what compelled me to write this, but I felt like doing so and so I did.

Jahannam says:   24 January 2008   699712  
I get you on the coat part. Can't go out without a jacket, I get
incredibly uncomfortable. 
Parents and new people are definitely terrifying.

I think you should stop trying to worry about what people think. :P
Noticeable clothes and HowTo books are awesome, it doesn't matter
(Though, again, I can understand, but it SHOULDN'T MATTER :[ ).

What emo music have you been listening to?
Jahannam says:   24 January 2008   518176  
I meant try to stop worrying, sorry.
neoeno says:   24 January 2008   753121  
Indeeeed, I do try. I was just listing ^_^
‹EvaHEROIN› says:   24 January 2008   455854  
Meeting people's parents kinda scares me o_o
Since they don't usually like me, tbh.
Hm...Clothes shopping, yes.
Music...Not really.
The jacket thing is like me and my Ipod.

Craven says :   11 June 2008   445384  
Awwr. (Sorry for the delayed response... been living in a cave until
recently. >_>
Buying 'how to draw' books. That and apparently buying “How to [insert
something here]” books means that you don’t know how to do whatever it
is which is silly.

Listening to music tagged as 'emo' on XD … no comment.

Wearing new things that I think look pretteh. Your family sounds sort
of scary. ;>_>

New people and new places. Awwr. Funny how you can be in a room full
of people an still feel alone whereas you can be completely alone and
not feel lonely.

Meeting other people's parents/friends. It’s because they’re meant to
judge you! *points* Perhaps its that whole acceptance thing where
you’re not “in” if they/certain people don’t approve. 

Clothes shopping, particularly shoes.  You poor child. O.o
I don’t know how it is over there (I imagine it’s the sameish). Over
here everything’s labeled (because we can’t tell otherwise. :P) either
“Men’s” or “Women’s” or whatever. I always feel self conscious when
I’m shopping in the ‘wrong’ department.  

Being without my coat.  Ditto about the jacket. That and pockets! Who
can live without pockets?! Why carry a purse or other type of baggage
when you have a nice up-close-and-personal pocket at your side? 
Psychologically, I think it has something to do with hiding or
‘armor’. Kinda like the ‘Batman-syndrome’ where you wrap yourself up
in a cape as a defense mechanism.


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